Anchors of Hope

What makes you hold onto hope? Enlighten us on something you do to create a safe, positive space around yourself, to boost the belief or conviction to always look for the cloud with a silver lining, even if it means starting again?

To answer this week's question from Ladies of Hive, I'll start by saying that there have been a series of things that have happened in the last month that have had me nearly on the brink of despair. For every lady, there are those days where we feel incredibly low but we may just ignore it since chances are that it’s a hormone thing or PMS. But then there are those other incredibly dreary days that stem from disappointment, stress, heartbreak, and hurt of any kind, to mention a few. Hope seems so far away or maybe it isn’t and we just can’t reach out in those moments.

I came back from school beyond exhausted and then I had to take care of a lot of tedious errands around the house. I had a roaring headache and then I got a call from a friend that had devastating news. Saying I felt empty would be an understatement. I remember slouching on my bedroom wall and I don’t know exactly how much time I spent leaning on that wall but I zoned out for pretty long. I thought of a lot of things. About how almost impossible it is to find rest.

Today, a poem crossed my mind. It’s a metaphysical poem I read by George Herbert about four years ago. It talked about the creation story. I’ll share an excerpt of the poem with you as it relates to this.

"For if I should,” said he,
Bestow this jewel also on my creature,
He would adore my gifts instead of me,
And rest in Nature, not the God of Nature;
So both should losers be.

“Yet let him keep the rest,
But keep them with repining restlessness;
Let him be rich and weary, that at least,
If goodness lead him not, yet weariness
May toss him to my breast.” Source

According to the poem, God took away rest from man as a way of bringing him back, with the knowledge that if he gave man everything, man wouldn’t have a need for him. So that maybe, if permanent rest was missing, that perhaps it would give man a reason to need him.

It made a lot of sense to me. And that may not be God’s rationale exactly but it just feels right somehow. Which brings me to my biggest way of holding onto hope. It’s not something I’m trying to impress on anyone. It’s my way of saying that I was down, and you can say that I’d practically lost hope, but then I did this and I felt safe. I prayed.

Things get bad a lot and no matter how mythical some people may think the concept is, I believe that talking to my friend up there brings me immeasurable peace. It’s like saying “I hand my problems over to you because I know that even as you’re working it out for me, you’ll make sure I don’t have to worry anymore.” And that’s just how it is. My hope is restored and things seem a lot brighter now.

Another thing I do is write. Writing for me transcended the need to just get something done. It’s the outpouring of those powerful emotions through my words into my book. That alone makes the weight seem lighter. Like because I’ve written about it, it’s certain that I’ll work it out and I’ll overcome. But I don’t just write, I surround myself with nature. Whether it’s taking a walk or sitting outside on my porch and having nature’s calming breeze ruffle my hair and cool my face, the writing takes a life of its own and I can immediately see the light at the end of the tunnel. See a reason to remain strong.

And lastly, I have my people. My people are few but it’s guaranteed that they’d always be there. Barbara Streisand’s line that says, “People who need people are the best people,” is true to me in a lot of ways. And it’s something that I’m constantly grateful for. The fact that I have the best people.

So, here they are lovely readers. My anchors of hope.

Jhymi🖤

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