Loss of a loved one and the complicated mess it results in
I started filling this out as you can see, but I was afraid I wasn't doing something right, AND this hinky software was being hinky. The probate judge STRONGLY suggested I contact a lawyer, and there was one right there who handled these types of cases on a (more or less) routine basis.
He gave me the number of "Glee Smith" attorney at law. (Her standard fee is $1500.00)
I called, got some sort of legal secretary who proceeded to give me a disturbing 'interrogation'.
Keep in mind that:
A. I was being called upon to deal with the death of my brother
B. I had just signed the documents authorizing his cremation
C. I WAS DEALING WITH THE DEATH OF MY BROTHER, and most pertinent
D. I have PTSD/Anger management issues, which manifest very quickly the longer I am on the phone with someone.
So in very short order this lady (not the lawyer) told me they couldn't help me and I should look for another lawyer.
I searched and found an attorney HERE in the Atlanta area who handled this stuff, his fee was $2500.00-$3500.00 PLUS $50 per hour for travel time (Warrenton is an hour drive more or less)
In the meantime, I'd asked The Lady whose family had adopted my brother if she would speak with Glee (the first lawyer) and explain, and ask if she would give me another chance.
As I pulled in to the lawyers office yesterday, she called to tell me that Glee would take me on as a client, possibly to call tomorrow (Today) but most likely next week.
My meeting with the lawyer yesterday was a consult, so there was no charge, but I felt bad because now that I'd gotten that phone call, I knew I would not be hiring him.
We had a good conversation, and he confirmed some things I suspected and brought up a couple of things I had not thought of.
Friends, if you live in the United States, and you have anything more than a pot to piss in, make a will, designate an heir or at least an administrator so some hapless relative like me won't have to go through all this.
My brother had a nice sum in the bank, but all of us blood kin now living, and the son of my deceased sister are now his heirs.
IF they all agree to name me the administrator, it will be my job to get the money from the bank, create a new account FOR THE ESTATE, which I alone will be able to draw from or write checks.
First, any claims against the estate (already there is the cost of the cremation $1530.00 USD) and there will be legal attorney fees and court filing fees, then whatever is left will be divided equally between us.
My 3 siblings have said they don't want it, to leave it in the estate for me to use for some worthy cause (first, to buy some sort of marker or headstone).
The problem them becomes my sisters son. He and I have been at odds our entire lives, (he is 2 yrs younger than me, a raving lunatic and impossible for anyone to be around for long... sounds like me. No wonder we don't get along)
Adding to that, this nephew is the one who broke the camels back and caused my brother to leave our family behind and move up here in the first place.
We all agree that my brother would be curdling in his ash urn at the thought that this nephew were go be getting a share of HIS MONEY, but by law there is no way to prevent that.
My nephew is also a disabled veteran, and probably gets more disability than I do, but I hear that he has serious cancer.
I cannot stand the thought of calling him, but it has to be done.
At present, I feel like I'm frozen, because as long as this drags out and I'm responsible for the disposition, I CAN'T DO ANYTHING with my life and time
"as sure as the sun rises, money will split a family into fragments, so MAKE A WILL"
"Loss of a loved one"
Ongoing issues
by
Jerry E Smith
©7/3/24
Images are family property
Ongoing issues
by
Jerry E Smith
©7/3/24
Images are family property
Firstly very sorry to hear about your brother Jerry.
Young nor old if you have any form of asset you wish to distribute into a Will one has to write it up before you go on yonder, I have witnessed families break circling like vultures overhead before the ceremony of bereaved is even put to rest.
Good luck is all I can say, our law is as tricky, if not more so where children are involved still growing up within a home.
@tipu curate
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Thank you @joanstewart , when my father died in 1974, he had no will, his estate was valued at the time around $120K USD.
He never adopted mama's kids by her first marriage, even tho they cherished him as their father, they were not in any way considered as heirs.
THEN, his daughter by his first marriage, who had never accepted my mom (her step mom) and less than a week after daddy's funeral, she had convinced the other two siblings (Joe died in Vietnam) that mama was cheating them.
They got their own lawyer, sued me and the other driver for the wrongful death of our Father (and won) so even tho our insurance company defended me, they still had to pay the estate, money that was divided between everyone BUT me.
The end result was that my family was forever sundered. Today, I can't stand my sister Claudelle (daddied eldest), I love her and will not do harm nor allow harm to come to her if I can help it, but I can't stand her.
She's getting what she deserves now, she has alienated ALL HER OWN CHILDREN, who feel the same as I do, and she is deep into dementia. She is 90 now.
Shake cupboards in any family some strange skeletons fall out, that's life!
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Thank you!!
How does the state know of any relatives?
Did they tell you who you had to contact?
Or, did you tell them?
'Oh, I thought that my nephew died years ago.'
In the USA, we all get Social Security Numbers, which unlock a myriad of benefits and liabilities (if yours is lost)
My brother hated them, but that is how we found him after years without knowing.
So the law would know if I neglected to pay a legal heir, if that is where you were going
It is a fact that there are problems or issues in life, if we have money, we can solve it, if we don't have money, we can't do many things that we want to solve, because today life without money. It has become impossible to live. I am sorry to hear your brother's story.
Thank you @djbravo