Losing control...

Have you ever stopped to think about what might really be going on? for example: recently I saw we see a girl throwing things on the floor, screaming, and immediately the judgments come: "bad parenting”, "lack of boundaries”, "children of now".

Children, before acting in this way, give indications that an emotional outburst is coming. Where are the parents who do not give immediate restraint? Where are the parents who do not guide inappropriate behavior? Where are the responsible adults who don't try to stop the scene or divert attention to something else somehow? If we are afraid of a child's reaction and we don't have the guts to take control as adults that we are, this society will be lost. What will it be like at school?

The truth for me is that tantrums are not "bad behavior", they are communication.

It is an emotional explosion that occurs because a child does not have tools to express what he feels. How often do we, as adults, also lose control?

Continue reading... 👇

A tantrum (bad parenting) is not a failure of parents. It is a critical moment where several things are reflected: temperament of the child, family context, and yes, even the state of mental health of the caregivers, guardians, that is, of us parents, I include myself because I am not perfect.

If an adult is in crisis, how do you think that impacts a child? They do not understand work stress, financial problems or fatigue. But they feel it, they absorb it, they replicate it. Do you realize that?

We need to stop judging.

No father, no mother, has all the answers. And much less in a society that burdens caregivers with endless demands and little support network., I have lived it as a mother and I have learned about trial, error and seeking professional help, so as not to feel like a failure as a mother.

What I am talking about does not define us if we are good or bad parents. It defines that we are human. And if we feel that we are overwhelmed, it is always good to seek help.

Keep reading and open your eyes... 👇

Let's not criticize from the comfort of those who observe. The next time we see something like this, from someone on the street with a bad upbringing, ask yourself: what can I do to add up? Sometimes, just not looking with judgment, is already a great act of compassion.

Children's mental health is not just the responsibility of us parents. It is a social construction. If we want emotionally healthy children, we need adults who are role models, supportive community, and safe environments for everyone.

I'm almost finished this reflection... 👇

When my grandchildren are in crisis, I try to be an understanding grandmother and not go viral, to highlight their bad parenting to everyone else in the family.

Let's reflect: what do we do to take care of our own mental health? How do we react to stress or frustration? Perhaps there we will find answers to better understand others without prejudice, without pointing fingers.
Because in the end, in the.deeper in our being, in our inner self, what we all need, from children to adults, is a little more empathy... Just that.

Janitze 🦋