It's from smart couples...

Running away, running out into the drama, into the conflict.

My eldest daughter when she broke up broke up a few years ago, because the relationship became a battlefield 😬 .

Let me tell you why do these breakups happen?

It happens because the emotions involved are usually linked to betrayals, disloyalty, infidelities or mistreatment. It's not easy to process that, and that's where the battle begins, the emotional war.🔥

And of course, if one wants to separate and the other doesn't... BOOM! The conflict is armed. The key is that all separation should be consensual. If not, things get complicated and the spite comes as a result of the separation.

What I'm talking about is that...

When one is clear that the relationship is not going any more, it does not work, it breaks, the couple reflects it in their attitude, in the tone of voice, body language. Even if it hurts, it doesn't mean that you want to come back, it just means that it hurts the partner. Do you realize that?

Respect in communication is key.

Just because you are angry or hurt does not give you the right to mistreat, to raise your voice to the other. I think that in our relationships as a couple we must maintain civilization, open dialogue, respect, patience, so that separation can be prevented from becoming a battlefield, the product of a love breakup.

And if they finished you, it's because it's over... accept it!!!.

Don't keep fighting I told my daughter many times or it turns into endless war and that hurts. Respect the goodbye. Those who have suffered it know it: spite is a kind of living death.

Learning to go through that process that left you heartbroken, is not easy at all.💔

In the love breakup separating is not a failure. Failure is staying suffering in a failed relationship. It's the most sensible thing, without a doubt! Getting hooked doesn't make sense. It's smart to run away from drama!

When my daughter finally made the decision to leave there and cut communication with her ex-partner, I remember as a mother what she went through, the drama was of terror, a lot of abuse and insults for something that could dissolve without reaching that point, but it happened, fortunately and she separated, and a year later she got divorced. Now she is happy and is well away from the narcissist of her ex-partner.

For me, there is a basic rule as far as self-esteem is concerned: Don't get fucked by anyone! 😬 Not even from your partner.

Do you know what I think? A relationship is not only sustained with love, and this that I speak I do it from my experience of 47 years as a couple, and it is key not to reach the separation between two.

Really to love is different, one loves from experience, from reality and above all from the complement, it is to give ourselves to ourselves, and to give to the other, to complement him, to nourish him! If it's not like that, it's not there. Many times relationship problems are not really relationship problems, they are individual problems that we bring to the relationship and damage the relationship.

Janitze 🦋