Hair loss Loses My Confidence (My Hair Journey)

11 September 2024

Hair plays an important role in shaping women's identity and confidence.

I couldn't agree more! As mentioned in the current LOH202 topic, having beautiful, strong and thick hair aligns with global beauty standards. It makes a woman more attractive. That's at least what I believe and was the main reason I strived for long, thick, and beautiful hair. I also think that's one of my best assets.

1️⃣ Given the influence of global beauty standards on our perceptions of hair, many individuals strive for thick and strong hair to achieve their desired styles. Hair loss can be particularly distressing and is often perceived as a significant issue. Have you experienced hair loss yourself? If so, how did it impact your emotional well-being? Were you able to identify an effective solution, or have you found ways to cope with it calmly and confidently?

Before anything else, I'll show you my hair journey.

My hair in 2016 was still thick and long. Although I started to experience hair fall in 2014 or 2015, I was able to maintain my long hair until I worked abroad.

I cut my hair short in 2017 because I found a job in Hong Kong. I decided to cut it short since I will be long gone, and haircuts might be expensive in Hong Kong. In my entire adult years, it was the shortest hair I tried! I felt comfortable in it, though.

In 2018, I continued to grow my hair. I always wanted long hair, so I could style it to whatever I desired.

My hair in 2020 was long, as always. I have never been to any salon in Hong Kong. I cut it myself. So, it has never been trimmed properly. Its end is always uneven, which became its unique style.

In 2021, nothing has changed, I guess? I was afraid of doing other haircut styles. I was worried that my hair would turn ugly in some way. So, I kept it natural.

My hair in 2022 was uncut since the photo in 2021 was taken. You can tell from its length. I just trimmed it a little, just removing the frizzy ends.

2023 was the year I recorded with the longest hair! It went below my waist. I may find it pretty, but not on the other side of it. I was getting more hair fall, so I cut it myself and made a length below the middle of my torso.

In 2024, I started making other hairstyles as I found my natural hair a bit boring. I tried to curl it, and the result was favorable. I then used to make this style whenever I found myself productive and wanted to go farther from my place on weekends. I thought getting curly hair added charm and confidence in me. In fact, my hair looks thicker when it is curled.

I can't deny that having long hair adds confidence to me. I could style it to whatever I want to; tie it up, curl it, or just naturally wave it down. Sometimes, I style it depending on my mood and the event. I feel even more confident when my hair is styled beautifully.

However, behind my long hair was a problem that I had long wanted to find a remedy for. As mentioned above, I experienced hair loss in 2014 or 2015. Until then, it became my main issue, even up to date. I may have long hair, but it becomes thinner and thinner as the years go by. I tried different remedies before, such as putting natural aloe vera or virgin coconut oil on my hair and scalp thirty minutes before bathing. It made my hair silkier but didn't stop my hair loss. I tried anti-hair loss shampoos, but to no avail.

I also incorporated argan oil into my hair regimen. This only makes my hair shinier, but it does not treat the hair loss.

Sometimes, I find it unhealthy already. It's affecting my physical and emotional health. I thought it was just a normal issue when we age. But, I thought there might be an underlying issue I didn't know - the real reason I am losing my hair. I also thought I had a vitamin or mineral deficiency essential to having thicker and stronger hair. It is distressing, to be honest. I had a lot on my mind regarding my hair loss issue. It's losing my confidence at times. Until I got tired of finding solutions and just embraced my flaws. No one is perfect anyway.

Whenever you see me wearing a cap on an ordinary day, that only means I lack confidence. Except when I go hiking, though, or when I feel the sun is too scorching. Sometimes, I just want to travel with my cap on because I am lazy about bringing my umbrella, especially in hot weather. But sometimes, I don't like putting my thin hair down, and covering it with my cap is my only solution. Whenever I see my thinner hair, I can't help but miss my old, thick, and strong long hair. But a girl once said, "Your hair is not really thin." I don't think so. I can feel my scalp already, which is not normal for me. Look how thick my hair was in the first photo compared to now.

When I got home, I took the opportunity to find out what caused my hair loss. I went to a physician because aside from hair loss, I also got a dry scalp, which I thought was because of the cold season in Hong Kong. (Part of my upper back was affected too, btw.) But it remained the same even when the season changed. My dry scalp contributed to getting more hair loss. The doctor prescribed topical medicines, a certain shampoo, and hair oil. I also underwent some laboratory tests (general blood test, urine test, etc.) because I might have some underlying issues like hypothyroidism or something. Even in Hong Kong, I was researching what causes chronic hair loss. I was paranoid. That's why I requested the doctor to do some tests.

However, all my tests were negative. I should be grateful because everything is fine, but I'm still worried because the hair loss wasn't treated, just the dry scalp and back. After some observations, I discovered it wasn't just a dry scalp issue, but it was caused by a triggered allergy. I am allergic to some chemical products, specifically those containing whitening ingredients, but it was my first time experiencing allergic reactions to certain products. This allergy surfaced at this age of mine. The doctor explained. How odd! So, my doctor advised me to only use mild and unscented products, as if I'd return to using baby products. Some foods were also prohibited, like some kinds of fish, chicken, and other vegetables, which is difficult because I like eating them here at home, but they trigger my allergy now. This also caused me stress because I wanted to gain weight while being here at home.

Although my dry scalp issue was treated, my hair loss remained the same. My mom said I shouldn't keep long hair. After pulling some courage, I cut my hair and made it a bit shorter this time. It's for the sake of reducing hair loss. This is under observation, though.

Poor hair. It's such a waste for me. I never had split ends, only a hair fall issue. I saw a few white hair strands, though. I guess it's because of stress.

This is what my hair looks like now. Shorter but with lesser hair fall. The only issue here is I'm getting more hair loss after shampooing. But I just can't shampoo at all because it's hot here, which causes my scalp to sweat. I shampoo alternately, but I guess, I need to reduce it even more.

For us women, our hair is connected with our sense of self-expression and confidence. So, losing it is truly emotionally distressing, which I experienced recently. I used to have long, thick hair, but not anymore, as if a special part of me had been removed. It made me insecure about those with pretty hair. I'm not as confident as before anymore.

But while addressing this issue, I realized that my life is not just about getting beautiful hair. Although it was my best asset, I have to accept that it can't be anymore. I am still finding solutions on how to grow back my thick hair. It is still my issue up to this day, but I don't want to give up because it's part of my life, so I have to solve the problem. Solving it might help me grow back in self-confidence as well.

Part of this treatment is changing my diet, lifestyle, and mindset. Having more free time means having more time for introspection and self-evaluation. With this issue, I started to embrace reality (my flaws specifically), and think more positively. I just keep in mind that my hair will grow again, and the hair loss will be treated once I find the right treatment, so my self-confidence will return. This journey somehow led me to inner growth and some realizations. My life must go on, and I should embrace self-acceptance. Besides, I can simply redefine beauty beyond having long, thick hair. I just need to be me, at least, for now.

Bye-bye, long hair! I wish to see you grow beautifully again.

Thanks for your time.

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