A PAIN THAT WILL NEVER HEAL.

Time they say heals all wounds but there are some wounds that will never go away till one takes his/her last breath. On my own part, time is yet to heal the pain and sorrow that pierces through my heart each day on an incident that happened almost a decade now.

I'm from a family of seven. My parent, myself(fortunately the only girl child) and four amazing brothers. I'm the second child. I have an elder brother and three younger brothers.My parent brought us up in a knitted way and we share a strong relationship with ourselves as kids and even as adults. I, on the other hand wasn't treated differently from my brothers which helped me to have a strong bond and attachment with them,we practically did everything together from playing and watching football together, dressed like them etc. I would always want my parent to buy me the same clothes as them. We were taught to look out and care for each, settle our differences amicably and we always got each others back come rain, come sunshine.

We all have our favourite person in the family,so was the case of my immediate younger brother and myself. I would have said we were the closest but I can't because my other brothers would pick him first as their favourite and closest person too but we know how we share him amongst ourselves with no issues. He was the mediator in the family (he knows how to bring us together, create a happy and peaceful environment in the house) he extended this act even to our cousins. I almost forgot to mention that he was a sociable and the most friendly of us, he was the only person who would bring home his friends to sleep over for days, yes! That was how free minded he was towards everyone. Anyway, I'd still like to say we were the closest and I share almost everything with him,do we fight? I can tell you we were fighting buddies as much as we were friends,we disagree to agree and make up in no time and this also applies to our other sibling.

'Iy'eni, give me your voice while I give you my brain', these were the words on his lips anytime he hears me sing at home or in church and he would always chip in how he will make sure my husband pays extra dowry because he'll be paying for the voice separately.... funny and silly at the same time, isn't it? He was my cheerleader and personal hype man in the family,he gives compliments at every given opportunity. Be it on my voice, to my cooking (he loves food), to how i manage my finance(he knows i love to save money) how i do these things conveniently never cease to amaze him and he doesn't keep quiet about it, forgetting he has his own strength also which was academic intelligence. He was the efiko/efiwe(bookwarm) among us and he was all round amazing when it comes to this.

He had a great academic dream and was tirelessly working towards realising his dreams, he aspired to become a PHD holder in engineering before 30 even when he was aware of the academic failed system in Nigeria but his dreams were his and he strongly believed he could achieve whatever he sets his mind to achieve even if others doesn't see it possible. He loved helping everyone especially those who were lagging behind academically, he would gladly organise free tutorials on maths and science related subjects for teenagers in the church, to his friends and classmates. He extended this service to my aunt's church and street in Abeokuta after gaining admission to Moshood Abiola polytechnic Abeokuta popularity known as Mapoly/Ojere for his OND programme, sometimes I wonder how he combined this with his academics and still came out with flying colours from the electrical engineering department. Plans were made and in progress on how he would further with his degree at his favourite university (Federal university of technology Akure) and it was sorted before he completed his OND programme,all he was waiting for was resumption to a new academic calendar at Futa.

He was always bright as a button and full of life,i have never seen anyone so positive about life like him and there's never a dull moment around him, he was everyone's friend both young and old, male or female. He believed he could handle whatever life throws at him. In 2014, two years after my dad's demise, life threw at him what he wasn't ready for and I must confess that none of us were ready for it. His degree resumption plan and every other plans of his was never realised,it was cut short on a friday evening November 14. My mom received a call that turned the joy and happiness in our lives to sadness and mourning in a flash,i overheard my mom saying nibo lo ti ni accident (where did he had an accident)? I ran out of the house and my mom followed hoping it was just a minor accident and probably rush him to the hospital but we met something we didn't envisage. As i got close to the bus stop next to ours where it happened,i saw a large crowd and my heart skipped for a moment while I ran towards them. I got closer and I saw a lifeless body which was already covered and that moment I was praying fervently in my heart that it shouldn't be my brother.

Without seeing the face, i saw the small finger nails which was freshly cut, lo and behold! it was my brother. I identified him with his finger nails even when the face was covered (he had a habit of chewing off his nails with his teeth). Everything became gloomy and dark,fear gripped me, i started sweating profusely and tears wouldn't stop to roll down my cheeks uncontrollable, i wanted to break down but i had to be strong because my mom was just right behind me. I held myself together and ran back towards my mom and gave her a tight hug so as to prevent her from seeing my brother's lifeless body and she got the message, alas! my mom lost a son and we lost our brother and companion to the cold hands of death that faithful evening. That night was the longest night of my life and that of my family, we all hoped for a miracle which of course never happened. He died at age19 and touched every lifes he encountered positively,he was laid to rest the following day. It's almost ten years and this wound is still as fresh as a new one.

Every of his birthday after his demise is another day to mourn him over again but this year was different as something significant happened,i got a message from someone on one of my SM handle asking if by chance I'm related to him and I answered yes and told him how we are related, at my end I was curious to know who's asking if I'm related to him almost 10yr after his death (who wouldn't be?)and the message goes thus....

Your brother was my hero, i have tried looking for his relatives for a long time. There's no day he doesn't cross my mind. I graduated the best student of our set in 2016 at Mapoly and I dedicate it to him.
One day, i hope to meet you and tell you how great he was. I can never forget him. I am what I am today and what I'll be in the future because of him. Each time i want to give up,i remember him and i never give up...God sent him to earth and when he was done with the assignment He called him home. Timi is an angel, I'm sorry I'm opening an old wound. Hope to see you soon.

I wept all over again that day and made up my mind to always celebrate him rather than mourn him because if after a decade his impact is still been felt and his kind deeds to humanity still speaks then i don't see any reason for mourning a life that should be well celebrated always. This practically is the only thing I'm yet to get closure on. So,if I'm given the opportunity to draw just one thing in the world and the drawing would become a reality, I'll definitely be drawing my brother Timilehin, I'd love to have a privilege of holding him again rather than just seeing him in my dreams.

ONE OF THE MANY STARS IN THE SKY
OTUBEKUN TIMILEHIN TEMITOPE
APRIL 14th 1995 - NOVEMBER 14th 2014.

Thank you for reading.

All pictures are mine until otherwise stated.