What matters is the capacity of your partner to be responsible

The sentence ‘Age is just a number’ cannot get more literal than it is.

The first time I heard that one of my favorite wives was older than her husband by four years, I opened my mouth in shock. If it was not said by the lady herself, I wouldn't have believed it. She wasn't even talking to me so I couldn't say she was trying to pull my legs. She was trying to advise a young lady who didn't want to get into marriage with the guy she loved because she was a year older than he was. I was only privileged to hear that conversation because I was doing her dishes that day.

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It was then I came to the conclusion that this age thing wasn't really a big deal. If that woman could give a man she was four years older than the kind of maximum respect which I saw her display, then age was an individual sentiment.

I’ve even realized that maturity or responsibility was not based on age anymore. In the olden days, the young men looked up to the older men to follow in their footsteps of wisdom, responsibility and maturity but these days, certain young men even proved to be more mature than the older men.

I have seen young men, my friends inclusive, whose minds are set on getting their own houses, setting up their parents, and carrying the responsibility of their families while older men who do not have properties are waiting for their inheritance.

In 2021, I wanted to go into a relationship with a young man who was about 8 years older than I was. He was in his late twenties then and because of that I thought he was mature enough to lead and provide for me.

We started hanging out in order to get to know each other and on one of those days, the guy said he was tired of sitting out with me in eateries because he always had to get something when he went into one. I was surprised but thinking he didn't have so much money to spend on frivolities, I asked him to take me to wherever he thought was convenient enough for us and he asked me to meet him at a junction.

When we got to that junction, we didn't get to sit somewhere, instead he asked that we walk to the end of the street and back while talking.

His excuse was that the street was serene and it would give us an ambiance to discuss well. After walking the length of the street and back twice, I told the guy I wasn't cut out for such stress and that I was returning home.

As if that was not enough, when I was asking him about his plan for his future, he said that he was waiting for his part of the house his father was building. I couldn't believe my ears.

According to him, there was no need to waste money building another house when his father was building one for all his children. When I asked if he was going to live in that family house, in one room, with his family, he said since that was the provision available he would gladly take it.

When I got back to my house, I couldn't believe someone of such age could say such things. I even had to ask my older brother what he thought just in case I was the one who was trying to be too extravagant but my brother confirmed that such words could not come from a responsible guy so I blocked him.

This has proven to me that there is no standard age bracket for relationships. This doesn't mean it is okay to go into relationships with children, it just means that it doesn't really matter if a lady is older than a guy or vice versa, what matters is the capacity of the partner to be responsible, be a help mate, protect and provide.

The problem with this age gap thing is usually associated with respect. Some ladies believe that they would not respect a man that is younger than them but that is not true, she can only decide not to respect because she feels he is too small for her. That's what I believe.

A lot of these celebrities who ladies are crushing on are unbelievably young, yet if they are given an opportunity, they would run into a relationship with them without thinking twice.

I would say again that the problem of age gaps in relationships is based on personal sentiment and should not be the kind of requirement to hold water when ticking boxes for a partner.

If the guy can protect a lady, provide for her, love her, respect her, support her, and do whatever an older guy can do then he shouldn't be thrown aside because he doesn't fall within the age bracket the lady wants.

These things are not the most important things to consider, and this is why a lot of people miss it in relationships.