The other side of kindness

It's always nice to be a good person, one that is kind and loving, while these traits are good and a must-have for everyone it can cause us more harm than good.

While the rest of the world turns a blind eye to certain things we the good ones can't, we just have a way of sticking out like a sour thumb. While sometimes we are appreciated other times we just might get into more trouble than we can ever imagine.

For a very long time, I've been a solution-oriented person. I am not one to be comfortable with just listening to a person’s problem, sympathizing or empathizing with them, I am the kind of lady who always tries to proffer solutions to their problems or nudge them in the right direction.

What gives me a sense of fulfillment is the joy of helping people fix whatever problem they are going through, I don't know if it's my calling or purpose, but like I said it gives me fulfillment. In the little way I can, I try to fix what I can, but has that been going well for me? Yes and No.

Yes because nothing excites me as seeing people I help being happy after overcoming their challenges and No because I have had to deal with the guilt of not being able to help them solve their problems.

Every now and then I try to get rid of the saviour complex in my life but it seems to be pretty difficult.
"You can't fix everyone," they say, "Sometimes you win some, and other times you lose some" they also say but whatever they say it just doesn't take away the pain and guilt I feel after going above and beyond to help a person only to discover that we still couldn’t get any result.

Whenever such an ordeal happens I am always disturbed, thinking and thinking about ways I would have done whatever I did differently or ways the other person was going to suffer because we were unable to solve the problem.

I don’t just know how I always put myself in these people's shoes. I end up overthinking for them and sometimes I get more worked up than them and this surprises me.

This happens every single time and I just don’t know when it will all end.

Just recently an acquaintance of mine was sad that she hadn’t gotten a job after finishing college and completing her compulsory one-year service to my country and it was time to face the labor market. She didn’t need to tell me how she was feeling because I knew how she felt because I was once there, praying and wishing I got a job right away. At that moment I thought about all the best possible ways to help her but I got nothing and that was when I asked her to optimize her LinkedIn profile.

I saw how lost she was when she tried to do it and I immediately volunteered to help her optimize it, now mind you, I’ve been wanting to optimize my LinkedIn profile for months now but I kept procrastinating but it didn’t take anything for me to do hers and in record time.

I’m not the best person in the world but I just believe in helping people in the little way that I can. What bothers me is how I do it to my own detriment or to live with the guilt of not being able to find a lasting solution.

I wish I could be free of this guilt, nobody is blaming me for anything so why do I have to blame myself over and over again?

How do I get to the point where I don’t feel guilty about certain things regardless of what happens or how do I get to a point where I can help people without being emotionally attached to whatever their problems may be?

Helping people is great but when I have to constantly go on an emotional roller coaster with them is something else.

I pray I get the desired freedom that I seek someday.

_{All images are mine except otherwise stated.}

Thanks for stopping by
Loads of Love🥰🥰
XOXO