UNRAVELING MY IDENTITY

When I was younger I had this thought a lot, I always thought my parents weren’t my real parents because I felt they never treated me with as much love as they treated my other siblings. It took me some time, as I grew older to give an explanation to some of the reasons they were like that to me and now I don’t think that way anymore. But then, if I was to later discover that I was actually an adopted child, I guess I would quickly accept it because after all at some point I felt like I was an adopted child.

Especially for someone like me who only lived with a single parent, I can easily assume a lot of things if something like this happens. But then, now that I’m older, the truth is I don’t really care whether or not I’m adopted or I’m actually my parents’ child and that is because I have grown to learn how to love and make the best of every situation I find myself. If my parents were to later tell me that I wasn’t their real child except my siblings, I will be impressed because my siblings and I connected at a whole different level while growing up.

The memories I have of them are so beautiful that I might just be grateful they adopted me because I don’t think there would have been any other place where I would have grown up the way I did. But then, I will definitely have a lot of questions which if I can get answers to will help me calm down really quickly. My first question will be how I manage to grow up with them, What happened to my real parents and why did they allow their child grow as someone else’s. Maybe some other questions, but that will be it.

The truth is, adopting a child is not something that just anyone can do and they won’t let the child know about it except in very few cases. But then, for my foster parents to have hidden it from me, it only means they had a good reason and most times it’s because they want me to feel comfortable with and around them just like my other siblings. And for them to do that alone means they plan to love me just as they would love their own children, even though it’s not perfect at least they wanted to try.

Forgiving them after doing something like that is something that I believe won’t be a debate for me. I have every reason to forgive them because my life wasn’t chartered in anyway and they are being really supportive of me. The only reason I might have found it hard to forgive them was if I lived a useless life because of them or my siblings. But still, I would prefer to blame my biological parents more because if they didn’t had the almighty reason to give me to someone else to raise, then that would not have happened in the first place.

But! This is me speaking from my own perspective and experience. For some other people, I think the best way to handle such a situation is for both parties to be as transparent as possible to the child involved. Trying to hide more information from that child won’t help matters at all, it will only make things get out of hand. This is a time when everyone wants to say the truth and be apologetic and not a time to hide the truth and still be defensive of why they had to do what they did.

As a child, it might not be easy to accept everything at once but the best you could do is to listen to what everyone has to say and accept their apologies. And the child shouldn’t be compared in anyway to follow his or her real parents home if he or she doesn’t want to go with them. That should be left for the child to decide. And if the parents really love the child, I don’t think this will be a problem for them at all.

This is my opinion on this matter and it will be nice getting to know what you think so feel free to share with me at the comment. The topic is on ”AM I ADOPTED?”.