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Red Roses And Expensive Diners

Every year, commercialism screams at you when February 14 arrives. The day of love, at least, if you believe the commercialism. People would have you believe that Valentine's Day is a day of romance, a day for red roses, and a day for expensive dinners. Unfortunately for them, my partner and I leave commercialism behind. We don't do anything for Valentine's Day ourselves. For us, it is a commercial day without any meaning.

Some History About Valentine's Day

Who knows exactly how Valentine's Day came about? The origins of Valentine's Day are shrouded in mystery. There are several different opinions. For example, a large number of people think that it has to do with the fact that February 14 is the day that the priest Valentinus died. Valentinus was a Roman priest who converted to Christianity. If this is the only reason, I don't see what has made this day the day of love. But okay, that could be just me. However, there is also another explanation, namely that Pope Gelasius declared February 14 as the day of Saint Valentine in the year 496 AD. It is believed that he did this to replace a pagan, Roman fertility festival: Lupercalia.

Roman Lupercalia

If you don't know what the Lupercalia was, a brief explanation. Lupercalia was a large pagan fertility festival in ancient Rome on February 15 in honor of the god Lupercus. If you've ever seen the movie about Julius Caesar, you've also seen the scene celebrating the Lupercalia. In this scene, Mark Antony offered the crown to Julius Caesar. What happened on the Lupercalia in ancient times was the following. Animals were sacrificed, and young men (priests) ran naked through the city. Women were beaten with sticks smeared with blood. And this would be to make the women fertile. Men and women were paired together through a lottery and they had to stay together during the entire Lupercalia, which lasted from February 13 to 15. During the parties, men and women got drunk and a lot of lovemaking took place. Romances also arose, and sometimes even marriages. The festival was said to mark the transition from winter to spring. And it would symbolize the renewal of life. Pope Gelasius therefore banned the festival and instead declared February 14 as the day of Saint Valentine.

Anonymous Lovers

Over the ensuing centuries, Valentine's Day changed into the day we have come to know it. It is seen by many as a day of romantic love, where initially, as I came to know it, the intention was to anonymously announce your love to the person who has stolen your heart. Is the anonymous aspect still present? Don't know. But I do know that in the past I have occasionally received a Valentine's card from a secret admirer. It was years ago, and even now it is never clear who my secret admirer was then. He has always remained anonymous. Oh well, maybe it was someone who felt sorry for the girl I was then, a shy girl without a date. I found it very exciting, I giggled a lot about it with my best friend, as only girls can do together, and I felt special for a moment. Who was the worshiper, or was there even really a worshipper? I'll never know, and that makes the memory even sweeter. Who has never received a card on Valentine's Day? Or a bouquet of red roses from your love? Nowadays it has become the norm to make it as extravagant as possible, with cards, flowers, chocolate, and dinner afterward. People go crazy and do everything to celebrate love together on that one day. As far as I can estimate, the anonymous aspect has completely disappeared, which takes away a large part of the mystique for me. The whole meaning of this day has changed in recent years. It has become a day of commerce. And that disappoints me!

Cynism And Individualism

Especially in today's society, where cynicism and individualism are rampant, the focus on expensive gifts and commercial activities to show each other your love is even unpleasant for me. The true meaning of Valentine's Day, to the extent that there ever really was a "true" meaning, is lost on me. Now my partner and I both believe that love should not and cannot be limited to just one day a year. Love is an everyday verb. Spending your life together is a choice, and that also means continuing to work on your relationship every day of the year. We therefore attach no importance to the commercial importance of Valentine's Day and therefore do not do anything special on this day. We do special things with and for each other all year round, by looking out for each other listening, respecting each other, and expressing our love for each other through these small gestures. Every day again.

Pay Attention

We also notice that nowadays it is more important than ever to continue to pay attention to these little things. In today's world where there is a constant stream of negative news, and many people are only concerned with themselves, it is so important to compliment someone else, hug each other, and appreciate and respect our relationship. Think about how much and why we love the other person. Those things, those are the things that matter to us. We don't need a special Valentine's Day for that, we don't need expensive gifts for that either. The presence of the other is enough.

Last Tip

If there is one tip I can give you, it is that Valentine's Day is exactly what you make of it. Commerce, and society, may all want to push you in a certain direction, but above all make your own choices. Choose how you want to spend Valentine's Day, in a way that suits how you want this day to be a day of Love. Because even though I have nothing to do with Valentine's Day itself,

Love... yes, that love remains worth celebrating always. Every day again!