Be careful when expecting too much of something

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  I will be frank that there are lots of things that when it happens I see that it is not what I expect. I romanticize everything the perfect job, the perfect weekend feature, or even a perfect pillow that will let me rest and make me wake up without any neck pain. But when reality strikes and shows me how it is really like sometimes I just see that it isn't as good as expected. That creates an empty feeling that can be very dangerous if you don't process it well in your mind.

  Serei sincero ao dizer que há muitas coisas que, quando acontecem, percebo que não são como eu esperava. Eu romantizo tudo: o emprego perfeito, o final de semana ideal, ou até mesmo um travesseiro perfeito que me permitirá descansar e acordar sem nenhuma dor no pescoço. Mas quando a realidade atinge e me mostra como realmente é, às vezes percebo que não é tão bom quanto esperava. Isso cria um sentimento de vazio que pode ser muito perigoso se não for bem processado em sua mente.

  One of the biggest examples was my romantic point of view of a relationship with a girl. When I was a teenager I wanted so bad a girlfriend, but in my mind, this girlfriend would have some attributes maybe similar to a princess. A beautiful girl from Hollywood that is nice and kind, in addition to being very intelligent. Today when I look back to the past I see how dumb I was in many moments. One time there was a girl, very sweet and for me was very beautiful and I started to imagine her in my mind as the perfect girl for me. When I finally got very close to her (it took a while that), she wasn't very clever, when we used to talk, it was always very superficial talk. But for some reason, I insisted on her. Every time that we talked it was very depressing. Luckily time was good and I continued to move forward. In addition, I think I expected too much about a relationship, I thought it was something magical. But then we realize that if we are imperfect the other one is also imperfect, so not everything is a pleasure in a relationship and marriage. Time is very good to teach us these things, that the relationship that we were expecting it doesn't exist.

  Um dos maiores exemplos foi minha visão romântica de um relacionamento com uma garota. Quando eu era adolescente, eu desejava muito ter uma namorada, mas na minha mente, essa namorada teria algumas qualidades talvez semelhantes a uma princesa. Uma bela garota de Hollywood, simpática e gentil, além de ser muito inteligente. Hoje, quando olho para o passado, vejo o quanto fui ingênuo em muitos momentos. Uma vez, havia uma garota, muito doce e que eu achava muito bonita, comecei a imaginá-la como a garota perfeita para mim. Quando finalmente fiquei muito próximo dela (levou um tempo para isso), percebi que ela não era muito perspicaz, nossas conversas eram sempre muito superficiais. Mas por alguma razão, eu insisti nela. Cada vez que conversávamos, era muito deprimente. Felizmente, o tempo foi bom e eu continuei seguindo em frente.

Além disso, acho que esperava demais de um relacionamento, achava que era algo mágico. Mas então percebemos que, se somos imperfeitos, a outra pessoa também é imperfeita, então nem tudo é prazeroso em um relacionamento e casamento. O tempo é muito bom para nos ensinar essas coisas, que o relacionamento que estávamos esperando não existe.

  Another big example in my life was my kid's dream to be a Marine Biologist. I was expecting great adventures in the sea, diving and looking at big animals passing by my boat. When I finally got an internship with whale watching it was totally different. We used to stay on a high hill with binoculars, the whales that we could see they were very far away from the shore. I could see some whales close by and touch them, but they were dead hehe. The closest That I could be to a big animal like that was only to perform a necropsy and collect samples. So again my mind created a big expectation of something and the reality wasn't near close to what the documentaries showed to me. Dreams are good for our health, they make us happy in our minds. The pleasure of dreaming is very good. However, time taught me that dreams are good to keep for us, and we can expect that life is very close to them. Like I said in a comment to @aiuna's post. The more expectations that we create, the abysm on the bottom is deeper, so the fall to reality is bigger.

  Outro grande exemplo na minha vida foi o meu sonho de infância de ser um Biólogo Marinho. Eu esperava grandes aventuras no mar, mergulhando e observando grandes animais passando perto do meu barco. Quando finalmente consegui um estágio em observação de baleias, foi completamente diferente. Costumávamos ficar em um morro alto com binóculos, as baleias que conseguíamos ver estavam muito distantes da costa. Eu consegui ver algumas baleias de perto e tocá-las, mas elas estavam mortas hehe. O mais próximo que eu poderia chegar de um animal grande assim era apenas para realizar uma necropsia e coletar amostras. Então, mais uma vez, minha mente criou grandes expectativas sobre algo e a realidade estava longe do que os documentários me mostraram. Sonhos são bons para nossa saúde, eles nos fazem felizes em nossas mentes. O prazer de sonhar é muito bom. No entanto, o tempo me ensinou que os sonhos são bons para mantermos conosco e não devemos esperar que a vida seja exatamente como eles. Como eu disse em um comentário no post de @aiuna, quanto mais expectativas criamos, o abismo no fundo é mais profundo, então a queda para a realidade é maior.



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18 comments
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Realmente é complicado criar expectativas em cima de alguma coisa e depois ela da errado. A dor dura um tempo, mas com o mesmo tempo também ficamos mais conformados e aceitamos que nem sempre tudo dá certo na vida. Como costumo dizer, a vida não é um conto de fadas, mas, das coisas ruins que acontece, podemos tirar bons aprendizados.

!PIZZA !CTP

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Correto! perdi mto tempo da minha vida com esse tipo de expectativa! Bem hoje em dia sou mais feliz em relacao a isso =) valeu

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Que reflexão incrível! Eu também fui e acho que ainda sou um eterno sonhador. Ler seu relato me fez lembrar de mim no passado somos muito parecido. Geralmente, idealizamos nossos sonhos e quando tentamos realizar não é nem metade do que esperamos. Porém, sonhos podem ser um combustível poderoso para realizar um objetivo!

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essa ultima frase é pura verdade! não podemos apenas virar pessimistas =P hahahaha

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Seriously....lol!
You imagined a beautiful girlfriend with princess attributes...this is so funny. Anyways I believe you can pursue that target in mind maybe when you have excess wealth. I have seen a situation like yours when I was thinking that the guy I was into will have qualities that I personalized in him.

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I think it is a pretty common behavior, especially when we are young. The problem is that if we became old with the same expectations. I have new already some friends that even now around their 40s they are still waiting for their prince to come hehe

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Haha 😂 😂
Seriously lol.

You are right because as we age we begin to think differently and more maturely.

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This is how I used to feel before too. I want someone who is very perfect but even I myself is not perfect. I tried so many relationships bus it didn't work out because I was expecting too much.
I felt it was nonsense and I had to stop it...
Nice post!

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It is good that you stopped it! I did as well. I think it is pretty common this feeling since when we are young we saw lots of cartoons and movies that create lots of dreams inside us! We want to feel what that protagonist is feeling in the movie!

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One of the most unpredictable beings on this planet is women😅, they are full of surprises, though they are Lovely beings but having expectations when it comes to them is just suicide, just accept anyone that comes by, that you can tolerate, no one is perfect not even men.

All career job seems that way, we all dream about how amazing the job would be after we have spend years studying for the job only to find out that the reality of the job is different from what we read in textbooks, it has always been this way, what choice do we have than to move with the follow.

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hahahha i think u got the problem I am a guy that tries to find logic in everything! And women are chaotic! hahahaha there is a tv show called Big BangTheory and there was a character called Sheldon that said that once hehe

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Our minds are skilled in creating images of what we believe we want, we see others having it and it will look so beautiful on them. But then, when we get a bit closer, when we finally get into the life, we realize that it was never what we expected. But then, if we go in without expecting so much, the disappointment will not be so hard on us.

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correct my friend! when you expect less the more rewards we get =)

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Beautiful perfect girlfriend 🤔!!!

It seems you were is fantasy world in that time otherwise how could you expect a perfect girlfriend 😅. I have never thought about it like that. In my case, I imagined only my girlfriend would propose me from her own 😅. It didn't happened yet in my life. So still, I don't have any girlfriend and I am also sure that I am not going to propose anyone 😅.

Both of your example means that whatever we think are different from reality. Whatever human love to think and love to enjoy fantasy world. May be It because it gives us satisfaction..

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hahah there are some sci-fi movies that explore that hahaha people that live in their dreams are happier than in reality!

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