Baby Boy, Beach Joy!

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The water is music that mixes with laughter to become a symphony. Who knew learning could be so fun? Cause and effect are often thought of in consequences, choice weighing, and fears. How often do we just enjoy the concept?

My favorite part of being a parent is how much my children teach me. I've heard of unschooling kids, I've not heard many talk about how they return the favor. When I focus in on what my son is seeing, my mind follows along to take each detail into the realm of fresh consideration.

Strange lake liquid! We don't have water like this  at home! He pushes the watering can down, air bubbles escaping up from its previously empty core. He counts them as far as he can, three is impressive when you haven't quite turned two yet!

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Then the can is empty once more. He explores its hot-pink depths, will more water come out? He waits, and then remembers that it is him who must fill the vessel.

It's been so long since I took Emory out without his older sister in tow. My best friend joins us with her children; her son is only 6 weeks older than mine. Due to her desire to be anon online, we will call her son Victor, because that boy always seems to win.

Of course, this also means I will not share the photos of the boys playing together. Learning cause and effect, hand in hand. They build sandcastles, then tear them down. A small metal backhoe appears in Victor's hand, "Beep beep beep!" he calls out.

Emory weighs the merits of this new word, and tries it on for size. "Beef" he pronounces proudly, and I let him hold the word in his own hands. Why must I correct every 'mistake', as if they aren't the most important aspect of learning?

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Wild schooling is a big process for a natural worrier like myself. I'm a helicopter mom at heart, but I sure don't want to be. Maybe it is my misplaced notion that I can prevent harm, that getting some scrapes isn't that  important.

Then I remember my scraped knees, bruised shins, and tiny hands blistered from my own childhood learning. What if someone prevented all of those? Who would I be now?

When I sit with myself and my endless fears under the sun, the wind carries them off for me. My son isn't going to drown because I took off the life vest I briefly made him suffer when we arrived. I'm not only trusting his capabilities now, I am trusting mine. I am strong, smart, and able. I tell myself this, just like I tell my tiny humans. We can handle this.

I am the daughter of 1000 strong mothers, I carry their wisdom with me. Even when my mind is silly, my body knows what to do.

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This is far from the first time that Emory has experienced an expanse of open water. Today is different, however. I see a new light in his eyes, maybe he sees one in mine too these days.

We aren't living based on fears anymore. A false sense of manufactured security stealing our bliss. We are alive. HERE. Now.

Cause and effect are a joy to those who realize they will be fine, but only if they take the risk. Padding is suffocation when you need to jog.

I've become more brutal with myself, with the world. I'm fairly certain that's love. It definitely is more honest, an acceptance of the nature of humanity. Pain is tied into growth; hardship is the school of the survivor.


For so long I thought that kindness, endless gentleness, was some weapon against the world's wrongs. Now I see it differently; the act of rebellion is through embracing that we can be multifaceted. I've always said that kindness is punk af, I just never saw the dimension in that. It is something that should never be a burden. I've let it become that in many ways.

Micromanaging each of my child's adventures seems like kindness, letting him fall seems brutal. These ideas are flipped in my head, he must fall to truly know how to climb.

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I must consider this as I watch Victor and Emory 'fight'. I want to break it up, stop someone from getting hurt. What I need to do is trust that they are in their essence, primal boys who can be redirected, but never changed. It is my job to make sure it does not go too far, to consider how headstrong toddlers are. It should never be my job to stop it happening in the first place.

Both Emory and Victor have the guidance of their mothers, but right now... they are figuring out their own place in this wisdom, this world. To interfere immediately is to tell them that they are not capable of handling their own feelings. Surprisingly? They do just fine.

Why am I surprised? Constantly in awe of how capable my children are, ALL children are, if only we give them the tools and step away. I never knew how passive teaching was.

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I've always been a big fan of telling my kids "You're okay!". Instead of asking, "Are you okay?" after a tumble is taken.

I learned early on that sometimes a mother's panic hurts worse than the bump itself. A universal signal to a young one that things are bad. Mom is scared? I should be twice as scared then! Freak out initiate!

Perhaps I am now learning how to do the same for myself. To stifle my anxieties one by one. To be adventurous when I want to hide. To remember that you can only be brave when you are afraid (thanks GRRM).

So I escape my imagined future where a water snake has bitten my son, he's cut his foot open on a rock, or some gust of wind has tossed him into the water, far beyond my reach... Why am I like this? Good grief.


Why don't I want to be like this? I am who I am.

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My mind is a brutal place, acknowledging that it is a vital part of me is kindness; sitting with these odd thoughts is necessary. The idea that all these dangers become more possible when I try to outmaneuver them swirls in my head.

I stopped and learned through my son's eyes. Exploration shouldn't be hindered by fear.

Baby boy, my beach pal joy. He hands me lessons too large for his hands in my estimation of things, and I revel in the fact that whoever taught me that was wrong. Kids inherently know more than adults ever will. I must not smother that in commonly accepted fallacies.

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All photos used here are my own.
momlife unschooling wildschooling thealliance thoughtfuldailypost pimp neoxian proofofbrain vyb waiv
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32 comments
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Ahh.. that cute innocent face. Emory had a great time here. Nature has everything to offer and kids learn best in natural environment.

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Thank you very much! I couldn't agree more, nature imparts life's most important lessons!

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Emory is a stat. I see a beautiful light in his eyes. Motherhood is a lot; a lot of learning, a lot of giving out, a lot of pretending not to see, and lots more! And you are learning each day. I do agree with this;

"he must fall to truly know how to climb".

Sometimes we have to look away as mothers to let the child rise themselves and give them the push when truly needed.

My Grin is back!☺☺ I miss you momma😍😍.

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Hey Balikis! Yes, I'm ready to step out of the shadows and start posting again !LOLZ 😜💚

It's wonderful to know I was missed, so many hugs to you 🤗

Here's to growing, always! Thank you for the beautiful comment 🍻 !LUV

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the little boy is really cute, funny makes me happy

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Thank you, I'm thrilled to hear it! 😁

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Emory looks absolutely adorable! I know how hard it is letting your baby find himself. Trying to keep the motherly angst at bay could be difficult but you're handling it so wonderfully.
I don't have kids but I've seen how it is when my little sisters was born. If they trip and fall, they're quiet at first, gauging the others' reaction and we let out anything negative, they begin to wail. Quite amusing really.
You're doing wonderfully dearest @grindan. Really missed you.🤗🤗

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If they trip and fall, they're quiet at first,

This!!! I know if my kids are hurt based on their reaction to "You're okay!". If they still cry, they get scooped up and hugged... otherwise we keep stepping 💃 !LOLZ

Thank you for the great comment Tessa! It makes me smile to know I was missed, and it's GREAT to be back! 💚🤗

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What a remarkable and beautiful testimonial to the learning and growth that happens within a mother while she constantly navigates the landscape of options when tending to her child. You make so many decisions along the way, and learn so much, all in the effort to provide the most nurturing environment for your child, without inhibiting them or instilling fear when it does no good at all. You captured it all. Wow, this takes me back!

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Jayna! You've made my heart warmer my friend. 💚😁 It is lovely to think of how these sorts of feelings transcend personal experience to become this universal mom heart pulse. I greatly appreciate the solidarity and kindness in your comment! 🤗

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Enjoy the moments; they grow up so fast.

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So true! I swear I JUST had this little guy yesterday! 😂

Thank you for stopping by and commenting! 😁

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@grindan...


I read these words... I can see through multiple eyes; my eyes... yours, or maybe even your boys. To be able to accomplish this task... oh my friend... keep being you!


By the way... I was listening to this while reading your post:



Coincidence or synchronicity?


Wes...
TDPBlinkie-anim.gif

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Hahah I love how often that happens with the jams— gotta say synchronicity, for suuuuuure! Thank you for the beautiful comment Wes!! 🤗 I need to DM you, dm me later if I forget please (and if YOU remember) ahahahaha 💚

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This is a great post, also I don't know if I could count to three before I was two haha smart little dude.

Yeah, I've been thinking about teaching my own kid as he gets older, and I think being able to let them make mistakes and scrape their knees is important... even though it would be a better world where they can learn just by listening to the lessons learned by their parents... but lets face it, what kids actually listen to their parents haha

!PIMP !DHEDGE

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KILLER! 😁 I think kids are sponges, like completely. When I get frustrated, I count my breaths usually, and he's sure heard that enough. !LOLZ Now, I just need him to implement the counting in the same way 😂

And mannnnn YES! If only we could just tell them the lessons... If only any of us could just be told and spared the hardship of learning. It's a tough thing to lean into, FOR SURE!

You're already sounding like a pro dad, I knew you would! 😎🤘 You rock brother, thanks for the awesome comment and the curation! !PIZZA !PIMP !LUV

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Learning things from kids is the real proof that no matter how much knowledge we have, there is always something new to learn. And also that if you are an adult, it's not necessarily to be always right! Haha

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it's not necessarily to be always right!

SO TRUE!! I often think of something my dad says "Would you rather be right, or happy?" I am 100% picking happy! 💚🙌 Thank you so much for the stellar comment! 🤗

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This is such a cute baby. Tnks for sharing these precious moments wit the world...

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Thank you, I appreciate you taking the time to read and leave a kind comment! 😁

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Loved this post, Grindan. I remember those days only too well... when my two boys were so little... enjoy it! We have to say goodbye to so many versions of our kids along the way... but we get to say hello to so many newer versions as they grow up. Your son is gorgeous btw, hehe. And we have to adopt this same approach throughout all the challenging times in our life. Allow them to fall and learn from their mistakes... let them wear their scars with pride; lessons in life well learned and earned. Good mama! 💗 !LUV

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