A loving parent doesn't spare the rod
Mr. and Mrs. John was excited, leaving the sonographer's office, the scan result showed they were expecting their first baby girl after three boys, they had initially thought they would stop at three, even two children, but since they so much yearned for an Ada(first female child), Mr. John finally caved into the please of his wife.this is the last try, he said to her, if it should turn out to be a boy, you've got to accept it. I have faith she is a girl, she had replied to him, now her faith has come to pass. She giggled happily, and excitement rushed through her bloodstream.
A few months passed, and she gave birth successfully her daughter was named Faith, she was a beauty to behold, her mom was always quick to show her off and she loved her wholeheartedly. The problem started when she would always give more preferential treatment to Faith, even as she grew older, she never lets anyone correct her child talk more of beat her, at her child's school, she gave strict instructions to her teachers not to lay hands neither correct her rainbow daughter. Her husband never took her seriously until she fought him for correcting his ten years old daughter, whom the Father had sent on a little errand, instead, Faith stood her ground, grumbling and complaining she was tired, this got him angry especially after he had just returned from a frustrating day at the office, the way his wife insulted and fought him made him realized how messed up his daughter has become due to over pampering by her mom as a result of her love for her daughter, her sons still remain second to her golden only daughter.
Faith grew up without fear for anyone, by the time she became a teen she had started beating her mum, whenever she scolds her for bringing a boyfriend home or tried to correct her, her dad after being frustrated, now stays at his work place and only comes home once a while,
This is a true story, of how I got to know about Faith, she schools in the same high school as my younger sister, so had to live with my family during their WAEC(West African Examination Council) and pleaded with my mum to let her stay till the completion of the exam, her parents had just moved to their own just completed home which was situated in another state, the distance to snd fro would be too stressful fir her to meet up with her exams. A few weeks after her stay, I met her one evening whining in pain holding her stomach, blood stained on her dress, we quickly rushed her to the hospital and according to the doctor, she had performed an abortion after taking series of dangerous substances to eliminate the child, and the quack doctor that helped
her left some remnant of the fetus in her womb, and she would have lost her life because she was going into shock if she hadn't been brought sooner. We were shocked to see what a young girl less than 18 years could do, so we called her parents to inform them, immediately her mother arrived, she kept crying and regretted how she raised her daughter and narrated what she have had to pass through because of her improper way of showing love to her daughter, ignoring discipline, while the father kept on blaming the mum and showed how depressed he had become from trying to train his daughter, his wife always ends up attacking him. Now the daughter has gone wild, with no fear, a nymphomaniac, and no iota of the fear of God in her. Last time I checked, she moved her wayward life to Ghana, all advice given to her by everyone to make her change her bad lifestyle has fallen on deaf ears and, her parents live in regrets now on how they raised their only daughter.
My take on this
The moment you become a parent, you have decided to take on a very big role of child care, not by caring financially alone, but emotionally, morally and a lot more, child discipline starts from a very tender age, from telling a child to drop sucking his fingers to teaching him or her to be contented with what they are given, a little spank on the bottom like my mum will tell me, will not kill a child, after which you bring them closer and explain why you punished them, loving your child also involves punishing them when they are wrong, that is the best kind of love, so you don't regret later on, Don't love your child wrongly, punish them when it is necessary, don't overlook, and teach them the right way to behave as they grow, they are like a new page, waiting to be written on, makee sure to erase errors the best way as soon as they occur, they might feel you hate them now, I remember feeling that way when I was much younger, but now, I'm grateful for all the rods, correction and teachings, they mold me to become a better person today.
Thank you for reading❤❤
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Unfortunately, there are so many parents like Faith's mom. Too much pampering thinking it is love will leave any parents with great regret in the end.
I hope she will learn her lesson and still try to mend her way of disciplining Faith.
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I wish those parent get to read people story as such and make a right turn earlier before it gets late, it's hard to change an adult, even teenagers these days.
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The woman ruined the future of her daughter by over pampering her, this thing happen a lot in reality. I have seen parent pamper their child too much because he or she is the only child.
Yeah, as I still see some parent of very little children following same pattern, I wish they know this earlier and save the child from a disastrous future
Thanks for this comment, I appreciate it.
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Pampering a child doesn't mean that they should lack discipline, both can be done, and a balance just have to be created.
I have seen instance where parent over pamper their kids and I just laugh. I have younger one's and they are in my care because mom is a missionary and I have learned a lot about kids.
Kids know when they are wrong and the moment you don't rebuke them, that wrong they did becomes right and from that moment, they keep doing that thing until it becomes an habit.
That us his it should be, loving your child doesn't mean you don't correct them, the more you correct them, the more it sticks.
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The fact remains that if parents hesitate to correct their children, the consequences will always backfire on each and everyone of them. Children, both boys and girls are supposed to be corrected if they falter.
Faith is still in her early years and there's always time to turn a new leaf.
It's backfiring now, and the regrets can't solve anything, at such a young age, she already left hetmr parent to hustle in another country, she grew do wild, only a special intervention or a life experience that will calm her down can help her now. She is a beauty, so men flock around her, she thinks living the life is buying expensive clothing's and other frivolities provided by men older than even her dad. It's sad already.
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She even traveled to another country? She has actually taken it really too far. But like you said, such people learn best from personal experiences.
It is not bad to love your child but they should be disciplined when it calls for it. Over-pampering a child could turn such a child to be wayward and live a bad lifestyle with no one to caution him or her since she has grown up to become rebellious. Faith could have become the best girl if she had been disciplined right from a tender age because that is the best age to train a child so that when he or she grows up, they will be used to it.
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Yes, sis, the Bible did not lie when it said train up a child in the way he should go, when he/she grows, they will not depart. training starts from a tender age, risking it till adulthood is already a life sentence.
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Exactly. To avoid regretting later, it's important to train a child when he or she is still tender.
It's better to create a balance when handling things like this and Faith's mom failed to maintain that balance and thus led that child to her ruin. We've seen things like this happen all the time and it's quite sad that parents could be adamant to something that threatens the future of their child.
Exactly, balance is the key, too much of something love, even sugar that sweetness kills.
Thanks for coming around.
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I can imagine how much Faith's mum is swimming in regret. Indeed, withdrawing disciplin meeans loving a child wrongly and it will always lead to regret. I feel bad for faith in your story, at the beginning it looked fictional but knowing that it was a true story, I hope that parents can brace up and do the needful from early stage of a child for his or her own good.
Thanks for sharing your story with us and for your participation.
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It's so sad that there are still lots of parent today towing this same path, her parent feel defeated now, their daughter is strong headed and fully immersed in spoiling her life, they are just hoping Faith realizes herself soon before she lost her life to the negative way of life she has chosen. It is always better to train up a child earlier than later.
Thanks for having me, I enjoyed letting out this piece, I hope someone somewhere reads this and learn something.
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love this, we are not sparing any rod, infact it is ok to have spare rod just incase the one we are using breaks or got stolen by the kids, just kidding lol
looks like the girl's life is destroyed but it is never late only if she is ready to change
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Haha, i can imagine that your mum kept extra spared fir stubborn Burl, if not, you won't be the great Investor Burl you are today.
The girl can be helped only if she can succumb, but she is far from that now, her parents are even scared of her.
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Over-pampering is not loving and developing your child for adulthood and the real world. The expectation are not managed and then a situation ensues like what you have described here. Guidance and correction is always needed as you mentioned. It is an essential part of child care.
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Exactly what so many parent fail to understand, the fact that I scold my child even punish her at times when she does something bad doesn't mean I don't love her, it shows that I care about her even more to want a better future for her to become a better person.
Thank you for having me write on this insightful prompt.
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Wow
I hope we do not make such mistake as Faith's mother, parenting is not easy yet, we must be cautious not to over pamper children.
Great piece
Yeah, we should be very cautious not to lead your children to doom in the name of love.
It's so sad having to remember all this agaun, such a life due to lack of training
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It's so sad. I still feel for her parents
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This story is very common, and it is because it is the exact same thing happening in homes. Some people struggle hard to get a child, and when the child is born, they treat the child like an egg.
It's good to take care of kids, surely, but see how Faith's life turned out. She's now a lost cause.