Introduction

In 1981 I was working in a very important automotive dealership in my city, my position at that time was the head of the computer department.

I got to this position because I was nominated by my boss in the accounting department, Mr. Gamboa, who knew that I had just graduated as a systems (computer) engineer and wanted to reward me for my good work in the department.

I remember when he called me to tell me the news, he did it like this:

-The company is acquiring some equipment for the new computer department and you have been chosen to be in charge of the department.

The news did not sit well with me, I was happy in the accounting department and the work environment was great. Of course, I was a kid and didn't realize what a great opportunity I was being given.

Gamboa was very important in my work life, he taught me everything in accounting and we worked many hours together.

Those teachings would serve me well in other responsibilities that would come later.

I immediately took courses on the machines that would come to expand my knowledge and in those training I met three wonderful people, all of them computer engineers with human quality and honesty that fascinated me; I learned a lot from them.

A year went by and everything was going very well, I had learned a lot and I had stood out as one of the best workers in the company.

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One day on my birthday, Simone Vacherias, one of the people who had instructed me in the courses, expressed to me that she had a present for me.

I remember him saying to me:

-Samuel San Martin, has a client who needs a person to help create a computer department with an excellent staff. You choose who you want to work with and can propose the salary you want to earn.

That was like winning the lottery, I jumped on one leg and told him:

-I accept! - I didn't think twice.

Samuel San Martin was the other engineer who had instructed me in my early days and he knew that if he proposed something to me, it would be good for me.

I started working as a hardware wholesaler and from that moment on I had a working relationship that lasted 17 years which I developed in my profession and got to know the magnificent world of hardware. That world is exciting for me.

As part of my team in the department, I had chosen my brother Enrique.

He was about to graduate in the same profession as me and it seemed only fair to give him the opportunity I was given.

I did the same with other students, I looked for them in the university through acquaintances and I had them hired by the company. I remember that even my father served in the sales department.

Those were beautiful days, we worked in harmony, and all the staff in general was like a big family.

Every Friday, at the end of work, we would meet at a bar for drinks and a bite to eat.

Sometimes we finished early and sometimes we moved to someone's house and the meeting lasted until the early hours of Saturday mornings.

Have you ever

On one of those nights of celebration for having finished a good week's work, we went to the house of one of our co-workers.

We lasted until 04:00 am dancing, drinking liquor, and eating; it was quite a party.

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Once the party was over and seeing that it was late in the morning, we all began to retire to our homes.

I had left my car at home because I knew I was going to drink liquor and driving like that would not be responsible and there was no assigned driver.

Anyway, the coworker's house was a kilometer away from our house and that distance was no difficulty for us.

Andres, another co-worker, and a neighbor came with us, and because of the effects of the liquor consumed, we were singing and talking like crazy parrots; we were happy.

When we were halfway there, Andrés told us that there was a shortcut to get there faster and we decided to follow his directions.

That shortcut was to pass through the lower part of a bridge and that area was a dark tunnel.

The joy we were carrying was so unusual that we were not cautious.

When we were in the middle of the tunnel at the end of the tunnel, two individuals armed with knives appeared.

We immediately decided to turn back, but at that moment another subject appeared with a knife in hand.

We were trapped and the criminals approached us until they surrounded us completely and demanded our belongings.

Enrique had stood in front of me as if to protect me and one of the delinquents did not like this gesture and tried to hurt my brother.

At the same moment, Andres has punched another of the criminals and knocks him down.

The third guy lunges at Andres and knocks him down. I enter the scene and grab the guy by the neck to separate him from Andres and we fall to the ground.

At that moment Andres turns to help me and forgets about the guy he had knocked down.

When Andres goes to help me, the one on the ground knocks him down with a kick to his legs.

This same guy gets up and runs to help the delinquent who is fighting with Enrique because my brother had him subdued.

The one with me breaks free from me, but instead of continuing to confront me, he wounds Andrés with the knife and flees; he drops the knife.

Andres falls, I get back up, I try to help him and he shouts at me:

-Help Enrique, they are going to kill him.

I raised my head and saw that they had Enrique on the ground trying to stab him.

I don't know what happened to me, suddenly I had one of the criminals' knives in my hands and I ran to help my brother.

With a force that today I don't know where it came from, I hit one of them in the jaw and he fell asleep.

Immediately, I went against the other one who had already wounded my brother and pierced him about a thousand times.

My madness was such that Enrique yelled at me:

-Stop, stop, he must be dead by now!

Then we went to a private clinic, we didn't want to go to a hospital because we didn't know what had happened to the guy who stabbed him and we didn't want anything to do with the police; we were stunned.

Andres and Enrique's wounds were superficial, but the wound I had in my mind from what I had done was deep.

Then several days passed in which I was buying the press to see if a dead person appeared in the area and nothing was published.

You ask me:

Have you ever allowed hate to cloud your judgement?

I answer you:

I have already done so

I must be very frank and honest, this happened and has been on my mind since that moment.

Very few people know about it, even my children don't know about it and maybe they will find out from this publication.

I have asked forgiveness from the supreme being, I have asked forgiveness from life, and I have asked forgiveness for my attitude, I am not a violent person, but I could not restrain myself and allow my brother to be assaulted.

Have you ever wanted someone so much you'd have done anything for them?

My brother Enrique passed away in 2020 and his last nine months he lived with me and in those months I prayed that he would not suffer, that I would be the one to die.

I would have died for him, I would give my life for my children.

I apologize for this confession, for this thing that I have always kept inside me and that today comes to public light.

I am also grateful to @galenkp for allowing me this catharsis.