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I am not the type who keeps lots of friends and the few I have are very close to my heart. There is always a beginning to everything in life and I have had quite a lot of funny beginnings with people who turned out to be amazing in my life today.

A lot of my friends are female and that's because they have fewer expectations from me. I have fallen out of different clique of male friends just because I couldn't keep up with them. I have male friends as well and these are people who have things in common with me.

Today, the definition of friendship has been twisted and modified into what suits the kind of relationship we are having with people. We only attach it to people we hang out with, someone we are benefitting from always, and other selfish reasons. For instance, I had more friends when I was working than I do now, and after thinking about it critically, most of the people I called friends weren't really my friend.


Image was designed by me


It sounds unbelievable to people when I tell them that I have a friend of 12 years and we haven't met before, it will interest you to know that we both live in Lagos. I once wanted us to meet but something came up and the meeting was canceled.

Despite not meeting her before, she has done things that even people that I call friends haven't done for me. We have been there for each other a lot of time at our convenience and at a point, I had to set a standard of friendship for myself just because of how we look out for one another.

The word friendship is huge for me and I attach a lot of meaning to it. As a friend, I should care for you, your well-being is my priority, I should be able to support you mentally, spiritually, financially, and in any other ways as long as I am capable of doing it, and you should be able to do the same for me as well when there is need for it.

Regarding how my journey started with my friends, I have had funny beginnings, some were simple and there were dramatic ones. I will love to share one of the dramatic ones because we could all learn from it.

Every Thursday we usually have training at work back then and it made me hate Thursdays because I always have to wake up as early as 5 am so that I can be on the road by 6.

The training starts at 7 am and getting there late means a deduction in incentive or conveyance. Every penny meant a lot to me so I wouldn't do anything that would attract a deduction.

On that faithful day, I was stuck in traffic until past 7 am. People who know the route between Ikorodu and Ikeja from about 5 years ago can testify to how much traffic we encounter every day.

I was late and I tried sneaking in but was walked out by this young lady. It was the first time seeing her and I tried explaining my situation but she just snubbed me.

I felt bad because I couldn't figure out why I should be treated like that by anyone in the company. She left me with a bad impression of whoever she was.

The meeting ended and I made my findings about her, I discovered she was an assistant trainer. She was sent by their company to work with our company's permanent trainer that day.

Months passed and she became our permanent trainer. She came for an inspection of my route and I was prepared for her. She gave me her location immediately after she arrived so I went to join her.

On getting there, I noticed she wasn't feeling good. I asked if anything was wrong and she said, "I am fine".

We were about to leave when I noticed that she had a slight stain behind, I called her attention to it and she was shocked.

I quickly gave her my sweater to tie around her waist while we trekked to a female friend's place around the area. She freshened up, washed the stained part, and pressed the skirt to make it dry quickly.

I got her sanitary pads and even got her drugs. She couldn't do the inspection she came for before returning, she claimed that her flow came earlier and she has been feeling uncomfortable on the bus. She offered me money but I turned it down.

She was still forming but it didn't bother me. I called to check up on her after work and it was then she said a proper thank you.

She said "hello" again a few days after and that was how we became friends, we chatted most times after work just to ask, "how was your day and others".


I was stranded at the office on a particular day, the van I went with couldn't be fixed so I had to go back on public transport but there was nothing on me.

She closed that day and saw me outside the gate.

"Aren't you returning to Ikorodu today", she asked. I replied to her and she squeeze some cash into my hands, I felt ashamed because I so feel terrible to ask for help from people.

She came to my route again and we had lunch after the supervision she came for. I got an invite from her to a family function and I met her mom who somehow liked me.

It was love at first sight for me and her mom, she pampered me at the event and I felt great.

I and her mom became close, she invited me to other events and I couldn't say no because I respected her a lot. She sells cloth at Eko market and I have gotten several clothes as a gift from her.

Today, she is married and we are still very good friends. We don't get to see each other but we still have the interest of one another at heart and care about each other.

Her husband also became my friend, he always threatens her that he was going to report her to me anytime they have a slight disagreement.


First impression indeed matters and we shouldn't feel unapproachable wherever we find ourselves.

I wouldn't have felt bad if she turned me down politely and who knows that I might be of help to her later?

Our meeting taught me a lot and no matter what position I find myself in, I try to be as friendly as possible because tomorrow is unpredictable.



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18 comments
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You're a person with a good heart because other people would have allowed her to walk around with her stain due to what she did earlier. You saved her the embarrassment and I'm sure she was grateful.

In all I do, I always ensure I draw a line between friends and acquaintances. My acquaintances are just people I know but my friends are people that I hold close to my heart✨.

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That's the point, a lot of us misinterpret friendship for acquaintance and when we realise the truth, we feel very hurt. It is a good thing to define you relationship with people to prevent stories that touches the heart later.

I am not sure I have a good heart, helping was just the right to do.

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I am not sure I have a good heart, helping was just the right to do.

You're not sure you have a good heart?. Let me tell you why I said you have a good heart.

Like you said, helping was the right thing to do but I'm sure some people had seem that stain before you did and they didn't help, even when they know it's the right thing to do...but you helped✨

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Quite the first meet.
Yeah, first impressions matter a lot.
When you noticed the stain, you could have pretended you didn't see it and you wouldn't have been friends today.

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It's true, she actually asked me later why I didn't look away and there was no explanation. It wasn't right to allow her walk around with the stain.

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I realized some friendship that start with disagreement end up being the best most time, look at the way you guys started and what it turned out to be at the end..... Nice one man, You both help eachother and that is what friendship is about

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That's true, majority of the people I had a rough start with turned out to be the best people in my life.

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same here, they happen to be the best for me, not even once or twice

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Jesus!!!
I love this. who could have thought that you both will become friends after the way she snubbed you the first day you guys met?
Well, I think first impression doesn't always matter for real.
I even though you were going to end the story with you guys later got married..😂😂 just like africa magic movies.

I learnt a lot from this write-up of yours buddy.
Kudos!

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This is interesting.
And it was very kind of you to have shown care and concern.
It sometimes is puzzling how some first-meet disagreements lead to close friendships.

Too many lessons in this brief article.
Thank you for being humane.
Well-done!

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If you don't get to know her you might think she's a wicked person but when you guys became friends you realize that sometimes the first impression might scares you away

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Please give her my regards next time you see her. I wish you the best. You are a very good person.

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I also prefer female friends than male because of men wahala. Women are very easy to go with.

You truly value friendship and I can see how much you care for her. I must confess that I learnt a lot about friendship from this post. You made me understand that our friends are supposed to be like ourselves, we are to care for them same way we care for ourselves. Although some people can be very funny especially guys, the moment they discover you care much about them, ready to go extra mile just to ensure they are okay, they will take advantage of it and make you look like a fool.

Truly we ought to treat everyone we meet well, we don't know what tomorrow holds, it doest cost anything to act nice, pride will cost you valuable opportunities

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wow.. wow.. this is very educative Broo
You are a very sharp gentle man to have taken this steps as if they were planned..
You acted as the gentleman as you are when you got her those pads regardless of how she treated you when you unintentionally came late for training, I love the part that you turned down her money, like.... What the hell😀😀 thank God she realized that it isn't all about money and life is far beyond just being a boss and exercising intense authority over your followers. I really love your story man, I learned allot from it... This is a very nice piece👍

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Tomorrow is unpredictable and we should try our best to make our first impression great and last. Not all good guys would even be nice to inform her she was stained and would even offer her a sweater and did all you did for her.

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