Emptiness

"I do not want to go dad", Tyler yelled as he walked out on his father.

"It is just a barbeque party and you can get to have fun with your uncle's children", Mr. Austin kept talking until Tyler was out of sight.

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_Flashback

Mr. and Mrs. Austin have been struggling to win their son's heart since he became a teenager. The couple work in the same school where their son attended when he was a kid, the dad was the school security while his wife worked in the school kitchen.

They earn very little from which they pay Tyler's school fees, the proprietor was kind enough to give them a good discount and the privilege to pay by installment. The family didn't have enough but they live in love and happiness until Tyler clocked 14.

Tyler complete his junior education and had to go to college. The family was excited about it but despite seeing their child succeed in his studies, they were sad.

Going to college meant Tyler must move to the city, working in the province to fund education in the city was impossible and they needed a better job.

After much deliberation, Mr. Austin and his wife concluded that the family should relocate to the city so they can get a better job and earn something that will at least take care of Tyler's education.

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_Continuation

Mrs. Austin followed Tyler as he walked out on his dad.

"Come back here Tyler, you do not walk out on my husband like that", she scream while trying to catch up with the boy.

Tyler slammed the door and almost hurt his mother. He kept grumbling as he walked on the path that lead to the main road.

"Why do they have to be my parent? I wish I wasn't born into a poor family like this, God why?", Tyler screamed as he kicked dust into the air.

His parent was sad, they knew exactly what his problem was but there was nothing they could do about it.

He returned home late that night and things were never the same again in the family, Tyler avoided his parents except because he needed something from them.

"Hey, Tyler. The weekend is Nancy's birthday, here is the venue address", a student stretched a piece of paper to Tyler but he didn't take it.

He refused to become friends with the students in the city, he barely interact even when they tried bringing him out of his shell.

Life went on like that and every day, Tyler's parents wished they still had that little Tyler that loved and appreciated them.

Mr. Austin got a new job that would take him far away from home, he was happy because the pay was good. On the day he would leave, he didn't get to see his son and he felt sad about it.

Days passed and Mrs. Austin was expecting a call or message from her husband which never came. It finally did but it wasn't what she expected.

Mr. Austin met his end in a car accident while going and the news sent his wife into a terrible state of mind.

None of everything that happened bothered him, he barely came home after college. Mrs. Austin passed away as well after some years, her health deteriorated because there was no one to take care of her.

Tyler strived to study, he felt better without his parents because they failed to give him the life he wanted.

Sometimes he felt bad about their demise, but he was happy about his progress in life. Tyler sponsored himself throughout the university and he didn't have anyone to call a friend or family.

Years passed, and he got a good job and became successful. Tyler acquired everything he dreamt off when his family relocated to the city but there was this emptiness he felt in his life.

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Source

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He tried making friends but he couldn't get a true one. Everyone that came into his life during that period had a mission, they were looters. They were only interested in what they can benefit from him and when they got it, they moved on.

The emptiness grew bigger and Tyler had to seek refuge in drinking which worked for some time. He stepped up to take hard drugs and he slowly lost himself.

At some point, nothing made sense to him anymore. He couldn't keep his head straight and his job took the first blow. Tyler slowly lost everything bit by bit until he was reduced to nothing.

He sold everything just to take different substances that affected him mentally and in the end, Tyler opted in for suicide. His life became miserable and he didn't see any reason to remain in the world.

His attempt failed which landed him in a rehabilitation center, he was transferred by the government to a correction center after he was rescued.

Tyler was the oldest of the patients there and whenever he had a reflection on his life, he wept bitterly and wished he was dead.

Every weekend Elder Vincent from the Catholic church visits the center to discuss and meditate with the patients. Tyler was the difficult type and wouldn't attend the gathering but on a fateful day, he decided to join.

The first day he attended required him to tell his story.

"... I always felt invisible when we moved to the city, it felt like no one would love me. I couldn't make friends not because I didn't meet people but because I didn't feel accepted among them. I hated my parents for not providing everything the city kids had and today, I regret not appreciating them", Tyler concluded his story as he wiped his tears.

Elder Vincent patted him on the back and said, "the emptiness you felt didn't start at once and it grew bigger because you failed to love and accept yourself for who you are.
Losing your parent was a great loss for you and their absence affected you a lot. If you must fill up that space, then you have to love and accept yourself first."

Tyler attended more of the gathering and he was released after a few years. He never reached the height he was and he still couldn't forgive himself for his nonchalant attitude toward his parent.

He spent the rest of his life seeking forgiveness and teaching people about the importance of self-love.