What's the point
"What's the point," he said in respect of following a precise and established set of guidelines and procedures, "no one will know I didn't follow all the steps."
It was said with such conviction...and I wanted to slap that mofo so fucken hard!
He was right of course, no one would know...but he would.
I'll not go into details, but that conversation made me think about something I often say about doing the right thing and doing what's right, even when no one is looking; I see it as a strong indicator of one's quality and integrity as a person and I believe it to be a solid ethos and ideal to uphold.
People talk about doing the right things, being a good person, and many people do it publicly...but what about when no one is watching?
I recently (unfortunately) had some contact with a Hive user who went to great length to promote and champion his charitable endeavours and donations, such that they were. I was unimpressed but ok, I'll give it the benefit of the doubt, the person has shown some charitable generosity...allegedly. It made me feel somewhat dubious though, suspicious of the true purpose and reason behind said charity, if it even happened. What I wondered was why the person felt the need to toot his own trumpet, herald to the world whomever read the comment about the alleged charitable act.
Is it not still charity if no one knows about it?
Is not the feeling of being a kind and generous person the same if it's done without anyone else knowing its been done?
Well yeah, of course it's the same...so why promote the fact? For the feeling of validation, relevance, importance, ego and hubris and so on - that's why.
That's just an example...the alleged act of kindness or generosity is the same whether others know it has been done or not, whether anyone is watching. So back to my thoughts. I don't believe any person on the planet, one hundred percent of the time and for their entire life, has done the right thing in front of others or when others are not looking. Human beings are not that perfect and never will be. But, we can strive towards it, take actions that lean towards that ethos and, if done enough of the time, habits form and those habits keep happening subconsciously; if a bad habit then bad...but if a good habit then, great right? The chap I mentioned at the start, the what's the point guy...I talked to him about what he'd said and the thought behind it, asked some questions about who he sees when he looks in the mirror, how he sees himself and how he wants others to see or perceive him. Understandably, he saw someone valid and valuable and wanted others to see the same...and then I said, and that's the fucken point you nutbag, you'll see if you do the wrong thing and that counts! (I didn't call him a nutbag but wanted to.) If we work to continually improve, work hard all the time towards better outcomes, doing the right thing, we're going to accept, value and even like as a person who we are which leads others to do the same usually; it's a personal integrity thing. Doing the right thing when no one is looking, being diligent, responsible, disciplined, taking ownership of ourselves including thoughts and attitudes, is a very simple way to build self-confidence and self-respect and create a platform upon which to build other attributes, layers of value...and that's why doing the right thing when no one is looking, especially when no one is looking, is so important to me personally. I think he got it, time will tell. I wonder about you guys and gals though, your thoughts on doing the right thing and how doing so all the time, publicly and privately I mean, could affect your lives positively. Do you have examples of when you've done, or not done, it that have had positive or adverse effects? Do you think having that ace up your sleeve, self-respect and personal integrity, can help promote better attitudes, feelings and outcomes? Do you think I've got no fucken idea at all? Feel free to comment below if you've got anything to say, I'll respond. Design and create your ideal life, tomorrow isn't promised - galenkp [Original and AI free]
The image in this post is my own - it's a marlinspike; a military mate of mine, (Airforce, don't hold it against him), made for me. Marlinspike's are used in marine ropework, to tighten and loosen strands of rope or cable, among other things...and as a self-defence weapon which is why I have them. This one lives in my Land Cruiser four wheel drive ready to go to work should the need arise.
Ammo cover image for this topic? Do you not see the inherent contradiction here? Not to mention your avatar gun image. Loads of ammo pics in your feed which is getting really old. You have quite the obsessions.
Ah I’m gonna hold it against your mate for being in the Air Force. Those ladies have the luxury! Lol cool spike, I want to get one. Handy to have around I’m sure.
I think I’ve gotten to the point where as I’ve gotten older I try to appreciate doing things just to do them instead of doing it for social clout or some horse shit. If it’s an interesting story I might post about it on hive where nobody around me would be reading it but that’s rare these days. I’m not saying I’m a pope with my acts but I’m trying to live more of the lifestyle “be the change you want to see” and doing things that are pretty basic like picking up trash while I walk with the little man. I saw a lady the other day struggling to get back onto the sidewalk because they were doing construction. I helped her get up to her front stoop just because it was the right thing to do. I had the little man with me and that’s the only thing I needed, was for him to see it and know that it’s important to do these things because it’s the right thing to do. When we were done I chatted with her a little bit and just kept on walking, not making a big deal out of it. Just do the right thing and keep going.
I also try to do it in my work and make sure the people I work with know that we are trying to do the right thing, not the fastest and cheapest thing. It might cost more resource time but overall it’s the right thing to do for the customers and at the end of the day for the company as well because there’s a better chance they won’t need to come back in 2-3 months because things were done half ass.
I’m not perfect by any stretch though, I’ve made mistakes and done some stupid things and even similar to that dude where if nobody sees it, is it an issue? It happens and it’s natural in a lot of ways but how we respond and go from there is the important part. I try not to do that type of crap anymore but the thought does cross my mind in some scenarios. We’re only human after all.. luckily I don’t know of a situation recently where I acted on it at least.
The best thing about doing the right thing with your child is the example you are setting for him or her, you are already doing the right thing twice, and it will be like that when it is his or her turn to do the right thing.
Example is a powerful teacher...but it can teach good and bad equally. It's great to see people setting the right examples to the younger generation and giving them the tools to carry forward; whether they do or not is up to them but at least a person can look at themselves and say, I set a good example, to one's kids for instance.
Indeed! It's important to try to set a good example and that's what I'm trying to do more and more these days. I'm certainly not perfect but I've been trying to improve my flaws and make less of them, so he can see me at my best and strive to be better than I am.
Lol...bloody flyboys!
He does this machining thing on the side, makes some cool shit and sells them for reasonable prices...he has a lot of customers around him. I'm pretty sure you'll be able to find someone there who machines them, or a commercial enterprise; I like the thought of supporting the small guys though.
Having the thought to do nice things, or anything, without the need to boast about it on social media is a good thing I think, it shows a deeper understanding of oneself and is a solid indicator of a decent character, or so I have found. Showing off is a national past time these days though, (see social media) but I guess they're only fooling themselves.
Like you say, we're all human, but for that reason we have the ability to be a better one right?
Yeah for sure, supporting the small ones is important! I've been making it a point to do that as often as I can, whether it be buying something like this or something a little bigger. Getting it from a local instead of some shitshow like walmart or something is the best for us all.
Very true, we should aim to be a better person as often as we can. If we slip up, learn from it and go forward on the next day with the lesson for how to improve upon it.
Social Media summed up in a photo & two words... "Fake Book"
Lol. legit.
Bad habits are hard to break, doing the right thing, even if they are not looking at you, often comes from the upbringing of the values you have as a person, but a person who has been formed under those concepts, I am not saying that someone who has bad habits, can not break those bad habits and start doing the right thing.
I think I will touch on a political topic, but a very superficial one. I am a public accountant, a career that I have always liked, for some reason of upbringing in ethical values, I do not practice it as a profession, I am always preparing and updating myself in it, because I teach at the university and I must keep myself up to date.
The problem is that in my country the level of corruption is so highly aggressive that I prefer to do the right thing, many times I have been offered a lot of money for doing totally wrong things, but my conscience does not allow me, even though many times my financial liquidity is below the basic levels to be able to be with a quality of life that reaches me to meet the needs of my home, I just do not do it, as I said I prefer not to exercise it, especially when I am offered that kind where it is wrong and my principles do not allow me, that I have it as a habit. But I am also always teaching my students about being and should be.
In theory, being is what happens, but duty is what should be done.
When they understand that, they know it is the right thing to do, and that for me is a great personal achievement, besides I believe that with that, instilling the duty to be, I am doing the right thing.
Ownership, responsibility and discipline breaks bad habits...laziness does not; I agree that upbringing can have a bearing, but ultimate responsibility lies with the individual.
I appreciate you giving a personal example of the concept I have raised here; I also understand that doing the right thing can be subjective, but it's an interesting subject don't you think? Those who are doing the wrong thing by others possibly think they're doing the right thing for themselves I guess right? we each need to reflect on ourselves generally...however when performing a job function there's a different responsibility I guess...and that's where integrity comes into it.
Thanks for commenting.
That is the main thing that every person should have.
The responsibility is of the individual.
When the person understands that, assimilates it and practices it, the subjective loses strength in front of the main objective, in this case to do the right thing no matter if you are seen or not.
How do you work to instil that ethos of responsibility with your daughters? I'm not a parent so as out of curiosity.
My wife and I work with someone who is always posting on social media about the things she is doing for herself or other people. We can see right through it, she might be saying look at these kids, but the intent is clearly look at me! The crazy thing is, her followers eat it up. Are people that naive, or are my wife and I just that cynical?
Fortunately I don't see much of that because I'm not on social media but it happens in the real world also I guess too, so I certainly see it. It's often easy to see through and the reasons why they do it...well, usually quite obvious also.
There's a strong difference between telling a story and shameless self-promotion and why do people lap it up? I don't know, maybe because that's what they aspire to also, that's what's important in their own lives?
The first part, probably not the second part.
Thanks, I appreciate your vote of confidence!
Doing the right thing, even when no one is looking is rly for your own conscience. At least you can sleep at night not worrying about the thing. But there are also circumstances that is on case to case basis. Happy weekend☺️
I think, doing the right thing has other benefits than simply to oneself, and extends to others.
Have a great weekend. ✅
I confess that I have not been able to read to the end. For some reason I don't tolerate well people who make their "good deeds" public. They put me in a bad mood. I am not religious but a quote from the Bible I think is appropriate in this case ":let not your left hand know what your right hand does, so that your almsgiving may be a secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." Which I believe the quote that sums up my opinion regarding the subject. If things are done from the heart the good deed is enough. If charity is made public then, I believe, what is sought, is only the praise of others and charity is only a means to that end. That is to say it is a form of manipulation. This is my opinion. Thank you very much and
Greetings
Hi there, that was only one small aspect of this post but I agree with you for sure, people are out there self-promoting for the feeling of validation or relevance (whatever else) they get from it which is something I don't respond well to, it's quite repellent.
I hope your weekend goes well and you manage to do something enjoyable.
I was reading your post at a sacred time for me: breakfast. I preferred to read something else and come back to the text later. I don't like to start the day angry, hahaha! You are right the text is also about other aspects. Have a nice weekend
Haha, breakfast is sacred to me also...as is lunch and dinner and a snack in between each.
😂
I have something to say here. I have one of my friends who is a member of the blood donor society, their work is to collect blood from different people and provide it to thalassemia patients all over the country. He spread a word about it over every social media platform, I once asked him why you show up every time you do any achievement? He replied that my intention is to encourage other people to do good activities and help others. He also got a valid point that is why i said "oh ok then you are doing a good thing".
And yes I never care if people are looking or not. What I have to do, I do it with my full passion.
In the case of promoting a concept like blood donation I think there's a valid reason for spreading the word, I say this because there's a blood shortage in my country as no one seems all that keen to donate; he's raising awareness. However, there's a way to do it without making it seem like he's some kind of hero who deserves a medal right? It's a fine line.
Yup. I agree, I am also among those who hate when people try to show off their good deeds.
I would suggest bringing some rope next to the marlinspike in your car. It is like a baseball bat in the Philippines. It can't be considered a deadly weapon if you have a ball and glove with it.
As for the topic, I completely agree. Doing the right thing whether someone is watching or not should be the norm. One shouldn't do it for others, but more of for themselves and their principles. I personally try to do what's right whenever I can, and that is why I hate those who take advantage of others.
I don't think I've gotten anything special out of it, but I am not looking for one anyways. That's just how I was raised, and I don't see anything wrong with continuing it.
Hmm, I don't know your situation but I'm sure you've got a lot out of your do the right thing ethos,; maybe it doesn't seem like a tangible thing but it's clearly ingrained into your character and you're probably a better version of yourself because of it. Seems like something to me.
As for the marlin spike, it's not something the authorities would worry too much about here, unless they had to dig it out of someone's heart I guess. Good tip for young players on the bat and ball thing too. I carry guns and ammunition in my vehicles a lot of the time so it's all good, I know what's up.
I work with a charity and I can boldly say that 100% of what we put out is because we want to raise money to do more. Whether or not this person is actually doing what he says he does is another issue entirely.
Personally, I dislike people that like to showcase their life of social media. People now do all sorts on social media just so others can say they are kind.
That's commendable and a strong market if your personal character and integrity, well done. It's people like you we need more of. ✅
Thank you 😊
I am a mad stickler for driving things right even if no one knows. I am doing a charity pushups challenge just now and sometimes it is hard and the Good Lady is like, oh take a break today, no one will know. I'm like but I would!!!
It's principles innit!
Principles man, exactly. It's worse for me to know I could have done the right thing and did not than knowing someone else knew I did not. Personal integrity.
Good luck with the pushups man. It's funny you know, I only just finished doing 786 one-armed pushups right before I read your comment; a good warm up before I start my work out. Now, I better get moving and start bench pressing that 350kg I've just racked up before putting 73 abs images on Instatwit.
I've had people ask me that before and that (I WILL KNOW!) was my exact answer XD
I initially misread one of your closing questions and thought you were referrinng to us as having no idea at all in which case I would have agreed, I have no idea at all XD I think your assessments were pretty accurate XP
Meanwhile what is that stabby thing? I'm kind of using it as a dagger in my head but I'm not sure if that's what it's actually for.
See the note at the end of the post.
I don't know how I missed that -- I'll pretend it was the headache that's finally buggering off. I might have to convince J to let me have one for my car and one for my bag >>
I figured you missed it. Blame the headache for sure.
They're readily available online from the usual places so take a look. Of course, if one is intending to have it as a cold weapon (a self-defence tool) then one should know how to use it, and the implications of doing so.
As I read you and remembered things I learned....
I would tell you that even when we do good without being seen it is more important than when we are seen.
When they see us, they focus on us or the do-gooder, thus getting compliments and good things to say.
On the other hand, when we are not seen, the focus is on the action and the recipient, which I think is more important.
Doing good or bad is an energy and the universe will always know where it came from, no matter if someone else saw it or not.
True generosity is the one that is done in silence, almost... hidden, the action matters, the good gesture.
I don't usually say anything about my actions, the universe knows, that's enough for me. It is so important for me to do it that way, when nobody sees me, to be myself, to be genuine.
Great topic Galen, thank you!
I don't have a problem in things coming up in conversation where a person says, I did this or I did that. But when used as a platform, like the person I mentioned in this post did, a justification of their worthiness or validity...it's something I find repellant.
Promoting a cause one is involved in (done the right way) can be productive promoting oneself and what one has done instead of the cause itself is selfish, egotistical and repellant.
That's the thing, the right way to do it, because it might attract more people to help, but where there is no egoism and not for the sake of doing it to be looked at.... a lot of ego.
The obvious reason is to impress. There's always a part of a 'man' that yearns to be known for nice things, not the ugly ones which are most times locked away in the closet. I feel most times that people who blow their own trumpets probably have something to hide.
Yes no one is a saint, I'm not either and there are things I have done or not done in the past which have had negative impacts but I believe I'm still a work in progress. I have forgiven myself and moved on, letting those past mistakes help shape a better version of 'me'.
I agree, nothing more to add here. Thanks for your comment.
I think when the intention is to spread the word and ideally attract others to also support the cause, it can be a net positive. That's certainly what I'm trying to do with my recent posts about the cancer fundraiser I've been participating in. I'm hoping people see them and decide to either donate or join the challenge which would have the effect of spreading awareness of the fundraiser.
But for more direct donations, yeah it can definitely be more of an ego thing, like when a donor to a hospital wants them to put his name on the new wing. There is no raising awareness and attracting donations from others in that situation, so there is no real point in plastering their name on the donation; it's pure ego: look at how good I am and think well of me. That said, there is still a positive effect—the hospital now has a new wing to better help patients—so the less than altruistic reasons for the donation can be overlooked, I think.
It leads back to that classical philosophy question, "Is selfless action really possible?" (Psychological egoism). I remember many good discussions on the matter at university. Many still in the Buddhist circles I follow, though it's a bit different there.
Good thoughts on the matter!
Awareness is one thing, shamelessly self-promoting for reasons of ego, hubris and for accolades is completely another. I also think the latter is disguised as the former in many cases.
I suppose it depends on how people do it. If the goal is more self-promotion, or more redirecting towards the cause in question and using that promotion to spread awareness and attract others to the cause. For example, I have no problem when blood drives will use a celebrate for promotion, saying things like this guy has donated every week since he was a kid, you should donate and be like him. That could be considered self-centered on his part to allow that praise, but at the same time if it results in more awareness and more donations, that is a definite net positive in my eyes. Isn't it?
That said, it is a fine line and I don't know if I could draw it well.
Blood donation was mentioned in this comments thread positively already, a worthy cause for sure, especially here where there's not enough blood available.
I think so too. I'd see blood donation, raising money for fighting the top killers (like cancer, heart disease, Alzheimer's, lou gehrig's disease, etc), and helping the poor would all be among worthy causes. Things that help people and help society, mainly. But that's me. I'm sure your list might vary. That said, I don't know if it's a cut or dry issue and is more case by case.
Case by case for me...I don't have a lot of faith in 'charities' as it seems so many of them do inappropriate things with the funds the
extortcollect from others.The real win here is to better oneself as a human.
Many people are illiterate about how to live life properly to be honest! Why would you try to show people you are a good and honest person when in your closet you know you are the opposite of it.
Why not just take responsibility for yourself and set things in the way it should, and become a better human without the guilty conscience that you are actually not.
If you wanna be bad, be bad and if you wanna be good, be good. I mean it is obviously fantastic to be good and honest.
The moment you're acting so nice and good for people to see when your real self is nothing close to that, then I believe the person is lacking as a human and needs to work towards being better, I mean that should be every human's primary goal,right? "To be better".
Great post Galenkp!
Best wishes.
I guess it's easier to pretend to be a good person or to be doing the right thing than actually doing it. The thing is that the individual knows and that can lead to other things that are unproductive and destructive to character, mental health and life itself. Seeking to improve in multiple ways is what a human should spend their time doing, it lifts not pulls down on a person and it ripples outwardly to touch others positively also.
We must always be honest, especially with ourselves. For me it is very difficult, almost impossible, to behave differently from the way I think, in any circumstance. One must be as one is, both in public and in private. I do not know how to live having two behaviors, it is not in me, and always tending to the right thing.
You've said it well and I agree. We are only human, we make mistakes, are fallible and flawed, but we need to seek self-honesty...if we cannot be honest with ourselves, we won't be with others.
They can tell you anything here, but I (this imperfect being that speaks to you) tell you that 99% of people are always looking for recognition in others.
Only 1%, the enlightened ones, do not.
I want to become part of that 1%.
But I know I have a long way to go to get there, if one day I get there.
There was a time when people (mostly) just got on with things, just did what was required without making a big deal of it; I'm not sure when it changed but these days it seems (generally) that people are more interested in saying they do things than actually doing them.
One percent? Enlightened? Yep, that's legit.
Hello galenkp!
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