Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Hmmmm, I despise the word Depression. No one truly know what it truly means until they have felt what it means or it has happened to a close relative. Depression; I’ll do what ever it takes to keep it far away from myself after what I saw it did to my close friend, James.

This is not a fictional story or a ear say story

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I and James had been very close friends since I was in secondary school, he was someone I bonded so fast with. Our first discussion was about the cartoon x-men. I saw him reading the comic in a class alone, I share my opinion about some of the characters and since then we became very close friends. He was my senior but it was clear that he never had a friend like me in his class. We started visiting each other home, I got to know his family and he did mine.

His parent runs a primary school, and he was the only male child amongst the three kids his parent had. After his graduation, I visited him and we watch cartoon together. Shortly after his graduation, his dad passed away, it was a heartbreaking moment for the family. The young vibrant young boy I use to know became sad but that was only the beginning.

After the passing of his dad, the school shut down and his mom became sick. I really don’t know the whole story but his dad family were fighting over the properties that were left behind. His mom was chased out of their mom and she had to leave with her kids. I was the only one he could vent his frustration and anger too. The smile he always put on disappeared. After a while, I didn’t hear from my friend and all means to contact him failed.

Many months after, he visited me but this time around, it felt like a dark version of himself. We spoke for hours and he never smiled once so I decided to ask after his mom and sisters, James told me straight to my face that his mom passed away without any emotion showing on his face. I was shocked and I confronted “How come you didn’t even tell me this, you knew how close I was to your family” and the response he gave was what made me knew someone has been lost within my friend. He said “so my mom died, is that a news I should be sharing around with everyone I know?” He stood up and said he was going home.

James doesn’t even know or talk to people. It was that day I knew his pastor has taken him and his siblings into his home and was sheltering them. I started visiting him has his pastor place but he never spoke with me freely. James was so depressed he started falling sick and was diagnosed of asthma. He became a constant user of drug, he became someone that hated the opposite sex and always wish the worst on the earth.

There was no day I spent with James that I wouldn’t leave depressed too. He became someone that spoke harshly without caring what other might thing about him. At a point he became suicidal, he would just start talking about painless ways to die, about how nothing is in this world and how worthless it is to live. He dropped out from the university he was because he said he was unable to concentrate.

As the years goes on, I was still in contact with james, no matter the harsh and hateful words he said to me, I wouldn’t be angry and I would just smile and say things that would make him understand he can’t continue the way he is because he still has family who care about him. As time goes on, James began to change, he started talking freely but more consciously. The man that was always indoor, who never wanted to see the world started coming out to take some fresh air, he would take a stroll and the change started.

Currently, James is living fine. His big sis is in the UK and she’s married. She got him a remote job he could do to take care of his needs, he has a girlfriend and now we are more like brothers.

Although it took many years for him to get to the place he is now, and I would do anything to protect that peace he has found now. I have seen what depression can do to a person and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. It’s a very very bad state to be.

Thanks for reading.

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