Sometimes tough love is the answer

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Tough love may be tough to give, but it is a necessity of life and assurance of positive growth - T.F Hodge

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Hello Silvery souls and Hivian friends!

It's been a month since I was last here in Hive. Life outside the metaverse has been so friendly to me that I've been busy with life challenges and fun.

The past month was like a roller coaster ride with lots of drops way way down below that made me realize that life really has its own way of teaching us a lesson, ways of making us stronger and tougher. It has its own way of making our life colorful. It has its own way to make us move and dream.

It doesn't let you stay stagnant. It doesn't allow you to get bored. It doesn't allow you to do nothing with it especially when you thought that you don't have any more reason to live.

Life will keep on reminding us that ourself should be the only reason why we live, why we exist, the reason why we should be happy. The reason why we work hard. Life will keep on reminding us that our first priority should be ourselves.

Selfish? Nope it is not being selfish. It only mean that you have to keep yourself whole if you want to help or love the people around you. Remember you cannot give what you do not have, so you have to make sure that you are whole, that you have enough to give and enough to keep for yourself. You have to think of yourself first before anyone else.

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Whether it is financial or emotional help that you will give to others, you need to have full storage to be able to do that. Just like you cannot give a glass of water if you don't have it.

And in the process of giving, of supporting others, don't exhaust yourself just because they are depending on you. Don't lose yourself in the process of helping the people you love or else even you will struggle. And it's hard to bounce back when you are exhausted.

Remember, you are only helping, it is not your responsibility to support them all the way. You have to think of yourself first before you think of them because one day, you will realize that the people you care about, the people that you supported don't think of your welfare, and don't even remember to ask how are you doing. Doesn't even care if you've eaten already or not. All they can think about is the support that you're giving them.

Sad but it's the reality, there are some people who only think of themselves, of what they can get from you. They even forget to appreciate the things that you did for them.

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Why do I say this?

Because that is what I've learned this past month. I forgot to think about myself. All that I've ever thought during that time was to help, to support the person that is depending on me. I forgot that I can only give what I have. I exhausted myself finding ways to provide just because I don't have it too.

The worst part is it's hard to bounce back, and slowly because you are exhausted you are starting to have hatred in your heart. But don't ever let that hatred stay in you, because it will only make you worst.

There are people that need tough love and if that is what they need don't hesitate to give them that kind of love, because sometimes that is the only way you can really help them. Because sometimes, tough love teaches them to stand on their own. Because sometimes, tough love teaches them to appreciate what they have.

#notetoself

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And if you've come this far... I hope that I was able to entertain you and made you smile... and for that Thank you.


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©@Eylz619
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“Fall in love with taking care of yourself. Fall in love with the path of deep healing. Fall in love with becoming the best version of yourself but with patience, with compassion, and respect to your own journey.” —S. McNutt

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76 comments
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@eylz619 You are right, you cannot give what you do not have, and I have learned that I can also be compassionate with myself, that each person has their own rhythm and that I have to compare my growth with myself and not with others.

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hi @mjvdc!

yep... that's the best thing to do... to compare our growth with ourselves only. thanks for dropping by! :)

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Hello @eylz619

This is @tengolotodo and I'm part of the Silver Bloggers’ Community Team.

Thank you for sharing your excellent post in the Silver Bloggers community! As a special "token" of appreciation for this contribution to our community, it has been upvoted, reblogged and curated.

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Welcome back to Hive and to Silver Bloggers @eylz619 😃
As we move through our phases in life, there are many ups and downs, but we always have to look after ourselves, if we don't do that then we will be in no position to help anyone.
So take some to breathe and we look forward to seeing some more posts in SBC.

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thanks for the warm welcome! and I miss being here...will definitely make sure to be here more often. :)

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You are welcome, keep an eye for the next Silver Prompt which will be released very soon😄

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will sure do! 😄 got to catch up with other silvers post

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Thank you as we do value engagement within the community😄

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SB is my first love here in hive :D

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Finally! Nice to see you back here. <3

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hahaha 2 days ko sinulat yan sis LOL

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Great to see you back eylz!
You missed your one-year hive anniversary which happens to be my birthday!

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Glad to be back here too.... and you are right! my hive anniversary happens to be your birthday! looks like I forgot two occasions this year

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not enough reason to justify this, right @tengolotodo ?
😄

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you both know how busy and stressed I was during the past weeks.. so I guess that is enough reason right? 😅

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Okkaaaayyy!!

But I honestly admire your strength and determination for everything that you've been through recently. Hats off talaga, sis. 🙌

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if you only knew i'm almost there at the peak... about to jump and run

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Yes a double celebration!

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its still August! so I guess we can still celebrate it :)

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Yes that is very true, and if Rangers win tonight then that will do for me!

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hmmm did Rangers win?

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Yessss unreal we won 1-0 and now in the Champions League woohoo

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wooohoooo!!!! that will do for the double celebration I missed hahaha

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Hello, sis! Good to finally see you back. I know the last month has been very hard, but I'm glad to hear that you realize that you have to think about yourself a bit. And that's not being selfish at all, because as you say, you can't give what you don't have. And we have to be well ourselves to help others. I hope things are getting better at home, sis. And don't overwork yourself, you have to take care of your health too. I missed you, amiga. Good to have you back here. 😘🤗

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hi sis!!!! yep.. am glad to be back here too... i miss all of you! crossing my fingers that things will get better soon... but something is pushing me to leave... to go somewhere far away from here so I can also take care of myself. there are some instances that are telling me that leaving this place is the best thing to do. i miss you too sis!!! will try to be here more often :)

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Hi, sis! I really hope things will get better soon for you. About leaving, What I can tell you is to think carefully about what you'll do, but don't close yourself to a change if that's what you want to do. You know I'm here for you whenever you want to talk, amiga 🤗😘

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Very difficult to put oneself back together once you have done for everyone except yourself, no you not selfish.

Hope you find yourself a lot strong both physically and mentally, it is good to have you back.

!LUV

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thanks @joanstewart! yep have to find myself again.. and I think I owe it to myself this time.

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Hope you take the time you need, then decide a direction.

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I don't think I have much time to think... but I'm planning to move out and find work somewhere far away from here... guess financial support would suffice... giving both financial and emotional is just too much for me to handle

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Sometimes the best is to make a clean break then start again, we only have one life!

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that's true! we only have one life so I guess its not yet late to start all over again :)

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Welcome back. Nice to hear about the realization you discovered. !LUV that you remembered to love yourself; it's the secret to loving others. 😊

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thanks JV!!! yep... one will always be broken if the love for themselves is not enough :)

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true that... 😁

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it feels good to be back here :)

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i was wondering why i haven't come across any blog post from you. so, yeah, good to see you here! 😁 !hivebits

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hahaha yep... life is being so sweet to me and keeps on giving me challenges :) thanks for the hivebits!

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haha. yes, that's life. always surprising us all but a !PIZZA will always cheer me up. 😁😁😁

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Congratulations @eylz619! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s):

You received more than 10000 upvotes.
Your next target is to reach 15000 upvotes.

You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP

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Hello sis, happy to see you back and hope you're finding your way to bouncing back well even when it is quite tough. And I hear you, some people can be mean when they demand our time, attention and help. And when they go overboard, we have to say no and not feel guilty about it.

Cheers to you sis and welcome back :)

!LADY

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Hi sis!

yep... trying to find my way back but I think I have to somewhere else if I really want to bounce back :) thanks for the token sis :)

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Good to know sis, hope you will be able to find where you truly wanted to be :) You're very welcome and good evening ❤

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How are you, tita?

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Hi nani! i'm good 😊 how are you?

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I have not seen you in a very long time, tita. Are you okay?
Me, I am going back to school tomorrow for face-to-face, tita 😊

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yep.. I'm ok now :) are you excited to go to school tomorrow?

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Yes, tita. I am going to sleep now. My school starts at 8am, tita 😊

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have a good rest baby! and good luck tomorrow! hope you enjoy your first day of going back school :)

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how was school? Did you enjoyed it?

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Doesn't even care if you've eaten already or not. All they can think about is the support that you're giving them

A painful part of reality it is! I don't understand why people are that selfish and insconsiderate. Anyway, glad to see you back, Ate @eylz619. You are that same Eylz at readcash, right?

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hey!!! good to see you here :) and yep I'm the same Eylz from readcash :)

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Yay! Glad to know I have another Ate here. 😍

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😍😍😍 you know that we are family anywhere we go :)

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Welcome back, sis!! Misshu!!

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thanks sis misshutoooooo!!! and thanks for posting it with posh :)

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I hope all is well, sis! Love and hugs. Lam mo na yan. Xoxoxo

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This is SUCH an important lesson to figure out.

Well... two important lessons.

  1. You can't help anyone else if you're an exhausted wreck yourself. Best to take care of yourself first so that you can be on your game to help others 👍

  2. Although i don't like the term "tough love" because I think love is only kind and gentle (really), this translates into not enabling people (to me).

That is... compassion for all living beings, but compassion doesn't mean allowing someone to hurt others or themselves. It's not compassionate to allow this because then the person never progresses in their own learning.

Your post is full of wisdom and really great knowledge. Nicely done <3

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hi @nickydee!

first thanks for dropping by and yes... it translates as not enabling people, not because you don't care but just because that's what they need in order to grow. :)

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Exactly this and it's really difficult to do at times :)

👏

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