A message to new parents.
I was having a conversation with my roommate yesterday. She did something I never expected her to do and I asked her why she did it. And I'd quote her reply
He pleaded with me I couldn't tell him No, that's why I had to go.
I could still remember when the day we were both in the room and some came and ask for her note and she gave it to her. After she left it was obvious that she needed the note she gave out since she was reading it before the girl came and asked her for it. I was surprised when she gave out the note. After the girl walked out of our room I asked her. Why did you give that girl your note, you need the note as well I could remember you telling me you have a test tomorrow and you need to read then why give it out. I'd quote her reply again.
She pleaded with me, I couldn't tell her No.
When I laid down to sleep last night I reflected on yesterday's incident and some other incidents I've experienced with people who find it difficult to turn people down and after some evaluation I found out what these people likely have in common and that it
strict parents
I'm an African a Nigerian to be precised and when I talk about strict parenting in my part of the world I'm talking about to the point of not having the right to say no. Infact it's a crime to say no to a typical Nigerian parent's.
They go as far as insisting their child shouldn't get marriage to a particular tribe and the child cannot say no even as an adult.
Well, in my part of the world, it's assumed that parents being strict instills morals into the children. To some extent that is true but let's not forget the dangers that also lie with it.
Which includes the child being an easy walkover. Since the child has been silenced from home they easily get silenced outside too.
Also a child that was thought that saying No is wrong would end up not knowing how to say no even when she's supposed to.
A child that's held under strict guidance end up finding it difficult to express themselves and with that they always fall pry of evil people.
I'm not saying that parents shouldn't watch their children. All I'm hoping for is that new parents know how to caution and train their children with love. Because a child that is loved knows his/her right and when they go out in the world they'd remember how they are treated at home and at such they won't allow anyone treat them other wise.
Parents should also learn how to allow their children explore their full potential. Always remember that Elsa from frozen never knew how great she was in the room her parents locked her up in the name of protection untill she broke free.
So please allow your children to LET IT GO
Hmm, I hope your roomie learns to say No in some cases as this. Doing that doesn't mean she's a bad person. You can't just always give people what they want, especially when you also need it.
It is like giving someone your two eyes knowing you are going out soon and have no one to help you get out.
I hope so too. I tried talking to her as well.
It's takes a lot to brake free from the effects of strict parenting. If that be the case of your room mate, I pray she finds a way out. Nothing knowing how to say no can go as far tying her to the ground while she help help others rise