Helping Or Being Exploited?

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Yesterday, while heading to the grocery store, I had to witness yet again a scene that is familiar, yet always disturbing. This was not a single case, I've seen this scene several times and most likely I will keep seeing if people keep acting as they usually do.

When I was about to enter the grocery store, I saw a man in his late 20's, badly dressed, eating a good portion of fast food meal. He had fried sausage, French fries on his paper plate and an energy drink. Not something I would do, as eating in a place where a bunch of people are passing by every second is not a good place to eat, but I knew right away why he is doing that and what will happen when I exit the store. If you're wondering, the fried sausage is 3 times the price of a normal sausage you can buy at the same place, not to mention the French fries.)

I went in the grocery store, did my shopping and on my way out, I saw the guy at the door again, this time with his hand reaching towards those exiting the shop and asking for some change as he said he needed to buy food. Exactly what I thought will happen. Begging is forbidden by law in my country, so if you're caught, you can be fined. I'm not sure if they actually fine people, or just chase them away, but thy run from the police. This is why you don't see beggars on every corner, but still, it happens to bump into them from time to time.

Before you jump to conclusion, I have nothing against helping any way I can, I'm doing that regularly, by donating to those in need, but these people are not there to ask for help. These people like to take the easy way and wait for others to feed them.

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A similar case happened at the same place a few years ago. It was right before Christmas. I saw a woman sitting on the ground in a freezing cold, holding a few month old baby in her arms, begging for money to buy food. Christmas is all about family and giving, so people are more open to helping others, this is why you see these people appearing around Christmas. While I was shopping, I spotted the woman in the grocery store, filling her chariot with the most expensive Christmas ornaments and lights. You can buy these on every corner around Christmas, even in the grocery store. It looked like she had plenty to spend on things that are not necessarily essential when you don't have anything to eat.

Now my question is, is giving these people money considered help or rather feeding exploitation? That meal the guy had is one of the most expensive one, especially now with the latest price hikes, not to mention when you pretend you have nothing to eat. You could buy some food for a whole day if you opt for something cheaper. I bet those giving money to him don't buy such meals as they need to make ends meat. Buying Christmas decorations with begged money is also just crazy.

This kind of behavior is not limited to street begging. You can see similar behavior wherever you go and Hive is not excluded either. Maybe it's packed a bit differently, but it's the same behavior. When I was in my first year on Hive (or the old chain to be precise), this platform seemed like a real money bag for many to many. I remember there was a user who had a different story every two weeks, in her attempt to milk whoever she could. Once time she said she lost her wallet with her ID and debit cards, then two weeks later her grandmother broke her glasses and she needed $100 to buy her new a new pair and these were just a couple of examples. In the meantime she was posting about her nights out at sushi bars and boat trips.

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Managing your finances is never easy, but relying on handouts while spending more than you can afford is something one should definitely not do. Using others to feed you and make your ends meet should not happen either. Financial security should be first on your list, if you'd like to worry less about finances in the future.

My question is, are you helping those who you know are not making anything to improve their situation and relying only on external help or handouts? Are you ok with taking from you and from your family to give to those who are not willing to make an effort to improve their living conditions? Have you ever seen such a situation?

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34 comments
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In my country begging is practically a job and there is the law of the most alive, you make more money begging than working, however there is enough need the situation of the country has us broke, I help people within my means, today I saw a man who goes to work every day and had no shoes, what he gets only gives him enough to eat, there are cases of cases.

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Begging should be banned by law. This is when some people are forced to beg. It happened in my country too but the punishment is very severe, you can get a good few years in jail if you're convicted of forcing people to beg.

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Begging is a job for most people over here. Maybe I will make a post on that one day. You will see beggars at almost every traffic. I learned most of them attained their riches through that. The most annoying thing is that most of them are underage immigrant children who are here mainly to beg. It's very pathetic, but we can't complain cos it's not an illegal here.

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Begging is a job for most people over here.

That is extremely bad. People should find a job, instead of begging.

The most annoying thing is that most of them are underage immigrant children who are here mainly to beg.

Immigrated from where?

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Majority are from Niger, and others from other nearby countries

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Well, the solution is easy. Adopt proper legislation, ban them from the country and send them home.

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I used to give money to people who begged in the streets but I don't do that anymore because of a couple of bad experiences I have had. Once I gave it to a guy in Granada and after I saw him on a terrace ordering a beer. Then, in the last town that I lived, there was a guy from Poland who used to beg every day in the same supermarket. He was a cool guy so we used to give him a few coins when we went shopping and for Christmas we gave him 100€. Then I received a package from my company with food that I don't it because it's mostly meat or sweets. I went to give to him and his response he was checking what he liked and what he didn't. I thought that if he really needed was hungry he wouldn't do that. And after he started complaining that people wouldn't give him much despite it was Christmas. So yes, I learned the lesson and ever since I don't give a single cent...

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You know the saying, Beggars can't be choosers, yet, they are. I'm sorry to hear you had your fair share of bad experiences. Ordering beer is just like what people in my post did. I offered a croissant once to a begging kid and he said he needs money, not a croissant. It's possible he was sent out to beg and he could only bring back money, but even so, he could have taken the croissant and eat it.

I don't give them anything either as i know I will end up regretting it later.

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Over here in my country, there is no law against begging so there are a lot of people begging up and down. Most especially at the parks. It is annoying as I look at them and think, don't these guys have the plan to make their life better or they just choose to live on begging for money because they are lazy to work?

Sometimes, I see elderly people beg on the street and I try to think about what they have been doing during their young age, don't they have kids or family members?

I feel some people may see begging as profitable and choose not to work.

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I feel some people may see begging as profitable and choose not to work.

That unfortunately is very true. It's easier to play the hopeless than to try to take control of their life. Some are really in a bad situation, but not all of them.

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It's easier to play hopeless than to try to take control of their life.

But it pays more to take control of your life!

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They most likely don't know as they have never done it.

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We get quite a lot of homeless in UK, particularly in the big cities. I never give them money coz the chances of it going on drugs, cigarettes or drinks is pretty high. Sometimes I might pick up as extra sandwich for them if I'm at the supermarket, and normally they're very appreciative.

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Those who are hungry and are really begging because they have no other choice, are appreciative. Those who are there to exploit good people are choosers and as we can see, spend the money on things they shouldn't. I'm glad we don't have many and rarely see them.

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I never give beggars money, I know what they'll spend it on. In fact, rarely do I give charities money either as I know what they spend it on too, (new cars and overseas junkets.) Instead, I volunteer my time to them and help (directly) those that need the help. My causes are generally related to military veterans as they're mostly ignored by charities and governments.

I don't volunteer to feel good about myself, I volunteer to help others.

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I don't give them money either as I know I'm going to regret it later for the above mentioned reasons. Helping those in need directly is a way better idea as you know your help is really needed and that they appreciate it.

I don't volunteer to feel good about myself, I volunteer to help others.

That should be the main reason for volunteering but not many get it, unfortunately.

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It's pretty sad that greed causes charities to waste funds, and people to distrust them.

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It's everywhere unfortunately. We have them on the interstate ramps here. It always blows my mind to see them find a nice card board sign and some how find a permanent marker to write some type of message on it. Many of them smoke, there's $7 for a pack of smokes. I've seen a sympathy sign once that read, "I'm a disabled veteran please help me I sacrificed for you." Someone rolls down there window to give him money he jumps up and gets there quickly, hmm. Some don't realize if it was service connected they get severance pay from the government and have preference for federal jobs. Plus there are food shelters and veteran shelters here. I've seen others mention there veterans. I personally don't believe most are.

Heck there are many fast food jobs that are paying between $12-$15 an hour here. A lot are drive thru only because they can't hire enough people. Oh they will tell you I don't have a car to get there. Somehow they show up at the same place everyday to beg though right? I seen a television show where they did a documentary on it. What were the finding of a couple of them? Well some were taking money from people who have less than them. Many had cars and lived in middle class neighborhoods. People who beg aren't always who they appear to be. I do believe some are in bad places and feel they have to beg but I'm not throwing my money to them because they may not be.

I'll donate to a food pantry, help someone at the grocery store who is just short of paying the bill, give to a good cause, or volunteer time but I have a hard time helping someone begging on the street. You don't know what it will be used on. Maybe food, maybe drugs, or maybe a con because they are lazy to work like many of us do. I won't touch on the online begging I wrote to much already, lol

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I did not want to write a novel but many things you mentioned happen here too. You see them smoking, when a pack of cigarettes is so expensive. Playing the injured and crippled is another.

Not long ago I saw a post here on Hive, with photos of people staying in line for state aid or well-fair, I don't know how you call it over there. This was in a Southeast Asian country. Everyone was smoking! I made a note on a post that it looks like that the state pays well if people can afford to buy cigarettes.

Some years ago we had this thing going on everywhere you went, in restaurants, cafes, trains, parks, you name it. One person came in, put a pack of pencils on every table with a note that he was deaf-mute. Then turn back to collect the money. Obviously those pencils or pens were 3 times cheaper in the shops, but people still bought them to help. My brother had a colleague who had enough of being bothered while eating, so he said something insulting to the guy and what do you think happened? The deaf-mute guy insulted him back, loudly.

Some travel to big cities and earn bit money and live a happy life in one of the villages. So not everything is what it seems and it's on us to stop it.

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I didn't know that begging there. Made me search the law and actually I just found out that we had such a law but cancelled it 5 years ago. To be precise the previous law was not entirely against begging but against ones who do it while not in such need. Gotta thank you for sideways enlightening me about the Greek law 🙂

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(Edited)

You're welcome, however:

To be precise the previous law was not entirely against begging but against ones who do it while not in such need.

What a stupid law. Who's going to determine if you're in need for begging or not? Are they going to send a committee to evaluate your situation? That is stupid, no offense.

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Who's going to determine is you're in need for begging

I guess you mean *if.

Obviously begs the question as it's not always possible to figure on the spot. However, I assume this must be a very old law so I wouldn't rush to judge without knowing the exact social circumstances of the period it was decided/voted. Offence is impossible since I don't even know the lawmaker :)
It's not black 'n white and there's issues humans create that can't be cured by law. As harsh/unfair it sounds to ban begging by all means (unless we're talking about a state that provides all support needed) it is as ridiculous to experience scenes like the backbeggars provide.

If I wish you Happy April's fool it will undermine what I wrote above so... have a nice month instead 🙂

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Edited my previous comment ο φίλος μου 😂

It it was a very old law, it means it was time to update it or cancel it.

Happy April's Fool's Day? I know it's that day but do they say that? Lol. I don't mind though as I know you mean no harm, just a bit of fun :)

I wish you a good month too, better than the last one :)

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Edited my previous comment ο φίλος μου 😂

I frankly appreciate your attempt in my native language. Tricky as the latter is, the way you wrote this it kinda means "My friend has edited my previous comment". "Ο φίλος μου" is the straight translation of "my friend" that an online translator might bring while in this case it should be "φίλε μου". It's the difference between talking to a third person about a friend of yours (ο φίλος μου) and talking to your friend (φίλε μου). It's all Greek to you at the end of the day anyway but hope it's less "Greek" to you after that:) (Fun fact, we (obviously) can't say "Greek" for something incomprehensible so we say Chinese instead).

Have a wonderful month!

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Lol, I knew translating can never be 100% accurate but at last I tried. In any case, thanks for enlightening me, at least now I know 😇

Actually we don't say "it's all Greek to me" in Hungarian, we use "it's all Chinese to me", but don't know why. I've never heard anyone saying "it's all Greek to me".

Enjoy your weekend :)

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Can't say I never give money to the so-called beggars, since I've given some money in the past to some. Fortunately in my country, we hardly have beggars in the street. Due to our social system, everybody can get support from our government or help from the red cross and many other similar organisations, including a bed, food and other basic necessities.

I do 'hate' when people try to try to get money under false pretences. Here at HIVE we've seen users bringing their soppy stories and asking for money. I can't remember exactly, but I think I never transferred funds based on such a story. I may have voted for a few of those posts though.

I prefer to help people directly. Supporting them in ways I can. Added to that, I 'donate' money to some national lotteries which use 50% of the lottery funds to support all sorts of support organisations for people in need. Since it's a lottery, I can't really say it's donating money, since I have to chance to win something, but still. I never thought about it, but if I would win some big money price, what I would do with the winning. I like to think I would not take it for myself but do something good with it. I suppose whatever I think I will do with such winnings, is all theory. But yea, my feeling says: Do Good. When the time comes, if ever, I know for sure what this 'Do Good' turns out to be ;)

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If you trust that national lottery project, then supporting them is a good thing.

I've helped a few people on Hive and most likely will help in the future as well, but not blindly for sure.

What would you do with the money in case you win? That's a hard question to answer and honestly I wouldn't want to be in those shoes. Obviously donating a part would be nice but you only know how you react, when you're in that situation. Doing good is always good though :)

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Yea, we only know what we'll do when the situation occurs ;) I would think I will support some projects to be established for the benefit of those in need, rather than just donating. Especially when the sum is large. Regarding the trust in our national lotteries... 100% to be honest! Fortunately am living in one of those countries that isn't to bad regarding law and rights position, as well as from a transparency perspective 😉

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I've seen this a lot. I may even go as far as to say I was like this myself too.

Begging and trying to get other people to help you stems from a place of helplessness I think. It's the belief that you can't do it, and other people have it better than you. I used to deal with this mindset a lot at work.

I am often conflicted when I pass a beggar in the street and ask myself is he going to buy food or drugs? But lately I am off the position that when I give money then it's up to them what to do with it because I'm not one for controlling outcomes!

As for myself I used to partake in quite a bit of "retail therapy" where I'd think that the next thing is going to make me happy. It wasn't until I became truly happy in myself that I eventually realised this wasn't the case.

For me it took me to the point of owning BRO and the bitter fear of losing everyone elses money that taught me about value, and what is worth spending on versus what is not!

Financial responsibility and education is lost on most people I think! It's not taught.

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It's the belief that you can't do it, and other people have it better than you. I used to deal with this mindset a lot at work.

I wouldn't be so sure. Sometimes it's just laziness. Why go out of your comfort zone to build something for yourself, when you can get a few pennies here and there, a few meals and live your life.

You brutal honesty is admirable but you're right, managing other people's money is not an easy thing and has to be handles carefully.

Financial responsibility and education is lost on most people I think! It's not taught.

That's a huge problem as we're the bankers now and you can't play dumb anymore.

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I think a lot of laziness is rooted in the belief that you can't do it. I've been lucky in the sense that if I've ever seen opportunity then I've went for it and thought about it later haha.

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