Paritae Comtest: My Dating Chronicle

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(Edited)

"This post is a submission to the ComedyOpenMic ft Paritae blogging competition "Dating Chronicles"
Comedyopenmic contest

My Cringe-worthy dating Experience

Men are known to never admit weakness. We can linger around anything that makes one feel manly and that's what led to my cringing experience.

After so many years of staying single and drinking all sorts of stuff that promote weak erection, I decided to go into a relationship. I couldn't stop bragging about how I could go several rounds and make her cum hard, I just trusted my erectile strength even though I've never had sex. I was sincere enough to tell her I was a virgin-which was unbelievable for a guy of my age.

For two weeks I kept avoiding her because I testrun the strength of my erection by watching dirty pictures and I wasn't pleased with how the little guy was standing. It couldn't stay up to a minute without shying away and sleeping off. Not to disappoint the manhood association (MN) that I partially belonged to, I decided to browse about remedies for weak erection and I ensured I ate a lot of fruits, do a lot of exercise, avoid my lovely sugary drinks, and blend some concoctions I watched online just to satisfy my boast.

Photo Source

In the third week, when my avoidance was getting suspicious. I said one last prayer to the gods of strong erection and laid a plea to the manhood association(MN) to save me from shame, then I decided to invite her over. At around 11:00 pm, I felt her warm touch while I was pretending to sleep just to avoid my little guy from putting me to shame but I could no longer pretend when she intentionally woke me up and started to kiss me. My heart started to beat fast and I begged my little guy to show me mercy for that night and it seemed to answer my prayer for a short moment as I noticed an erection. Quickly, I tried to use that moment before it goes down, then she whispered in my ears

"Slowly, let's not rush, we have all the night to ourselves, make me cum as you've always bragged about".

While struggling to comprehend everything she said, I noticed my erection shrieking. I felt like crying when she took her hands and grabbed my little guy, probably to check the size, OMG! It was completely flaccid. She jerked it off for some minutes and it seemed to shriek the more, I could hear myself shouting Noo!!! As it grew weak. She hold on for a moment and tried to look at my face in the dark

"What's happening, Is it that you don't love me?" She asked. I started to stammer trying to explain myself. In my inner heart I was pleading for a rescue. What would I tell the men's association and the manhood association that I did with what was freely given to me for such a period? It was at that moment that I knew all the soft drinks I've drank intentionally lure me to lead to my banishment in the manhood association (MN). When all effort seemed fruitless, she laid back on the bed. I was ashamed, couldn't even talk as I watched her staring at the ceiling feeling disappointed. I was so disappointed at my d**ck as I watched the idiot resting unbothered at the shame it caused me.



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39 comments
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Hahaha, your dick is a graduate. Are you not the one that have taken lots of erectile dysfunction pills or concoctions so as not to function as a man, now, your dick is obedient to you, yet, you're complaining. Hmm, leave it alone. But, the lady is also sex graduate.

Anyway, above all, have you found any solution to the problem? Uhhm, whenever you see the lady, how do you feel? Shame shame bobo.🤪

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Lol, the girl was actually patient with me until there was a change

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Sure? You mean that something later happen? Be honest oo. You're a suspect

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Hahaha. Not that day, not even the next, but lot of things happened afterward

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But with the same girl? If yes, hmm, she really love you

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Yes, it was with the same girl. Maybe it was the fact that I told her earlier that I was a virgin

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I had a hard time commenting, but well we must make community ha,ha,ha,ha I'm out of letters, I mean, out of words. I hope everything has improved ha,ha,ha,ha. Thanks for sharing your embarrassments, I mean, your dating anecdotes @dwixer

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Hahaha. Sure, everything has changed. Later realized it was anxiety that prevented me from having an erection

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This post really got me wondering and imagining how this weak erection of a thing works. Omo! How do people with it cope. Maximum embarrassment!

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You just cope since you can't kill yourself

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WARISDIZ!!!! WHAT DID I JUST READ?!!! WHAT IS THIS?!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣... DWIXER!!! NOOOO
NO NAHH!! YYYYUYUU.... 🙆🙆🙆🙆

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Hahahaha.
For some reason I didn't want you to come across this, who brought you here?
It's now in the past though 😊

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Past or not, it is really...i don't even know 🙆🤧😂💔

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That's what makes it embarrassing right? 😂

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😂😂😂

This has to be the most satisfying story I’ve not read today...she must think you’re thinking of another woman while she lay next to you..so sad

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If that was the only thought, I do be happy than making me feel less of a man

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The "This post is a submission to the ComedyOpenMic ft Paritae blogging competition "Dating Chronicles" part is supposed to include link to both and not just a text copy.

Also would be nice to interact with other posts.

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I'll do just that.
Thank You

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This is a big yawa😂😭💔..

See me in chambers for a good remedy and call for a return match bro😂.
She can’t just walk away like that.

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Hahahaha.
It was later settled.
Thanks a lot for your concern

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Ahahaha, the little guy disappoint you😂, you must have felt so bad that night, 😂, it could have been a good thing to have explained it to her, so that she Join hands and look for a solution for you in morning 😂

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Hahaha.
Explaining to her was the last thought in my mind

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Lolz. Really?, won't you lose her in that manner?

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She actually stayed with me until everything was normal. Seemed she loved me as a person rather than just the luxuries in a relationship

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That's a genuine kind of love bro, I wish you success with her bro, and for the little guy not to do that thing again 😂

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😂😂😂😂😂I can't say I've been in a similar situation but if by any chance I am, do you have any tips?

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This indeed is an embarrassing moment no man will want to go through this. Try to get a solution, but since there was no explanation to as why it happened trust me she also will be confused as to what happened that night.

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Indeed no man wants to be hooked up in a scenerio like that , but glad after all the disappointment and confusion, she understood with me

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Well! You need to treat yourself from weak erection. It has destroyed many marriages.

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This a story that happened some years ago. I'm good now

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Lol I had to stop Midway and start all over again to be sure I was actually reading what I was seeing and not something else.

You have properly traumatized me 😂😂. I need new pair of eyes

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Hahahaha
Please what happened to these eyes you already have?

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How do I unread this? 🥺
Anyways, I hope the affliction didn't rise the second time.

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Hahaha. Really?
Just pretend u didn't read it

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