There comes that moment when my troubles come glaring at me, my mind is pulled in different directions, my soul is afraid and restless, I worry about what is, what will be and what I'm unsure will be. In this moment of chaos, music is my therapy for sanity.

It's been a rough week of not being able to do anything. I'll say the wave of negativity, emptiness, loneliness and all the heavy baggage came blowing strongly this time. It happens once in a while and I feel better after a while but it persisted this time, I felt like it was here to stay.

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Three good days I scrolled through posts, looked into communities reading entries by other people and I couldn't even write a simple comment nor a post of my own. I had a couple of writing topics with absolutely nothing to do about them. There was my inner voice whispering ideas to me and while I try to put it together there seems to be a force pulling my strength away, replacing my positive spirit and mind with all the challenges I know I have which I've been doing a good job with ignoring them believing that somehow I will overcome it all. I just felt so low, so exhausted, so tired of everything. Nothing seemed to interest me at all.

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Am I speaking gibberish or there's another human out here who's trying to survive, who's up and doing but nothing is yielding results, who's giving things her best but the outcome doesn't match the efforts put in? Is someone out here in need and doesn't know where provision will come from because some of us, we're all we've got? Is there another person whose spirit is crushed, who is tired of life itself and everything is overwhelming right now?

Am I insane or am I allowed to feel this way? It gets really heavy sometimes and I can't keep it in anymore. People calling me out and coming to me for the comfort and warmth they get from interacting with me but I just stare helplessly because even Sia said "even superwoman sometimes needs a superman" so someone please "get me out of this helium!😭 This is the first track I got lost in (Sia - Helium). It is always my plea for help. I placed it on repeat and I unashamedly allowed myself to cry along.

My next soothing balm was Angel By The Wings - Sia.

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The lyrics says:

Oh so, your wounds they show
I know you have never felt so alone
But hold on, head up, be strong
Oh hold on, hold on until you hear them come
Here they come, oh
Take an angel by the wings
Beg her now for anything
Beg her now for one more day
Take an angel by the wings
Time to tell her everything
Ask her for the strength to stay
You can, you can do anything, anything
You can do anything
You can, you can do anything, anything
You can do anything

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This is my personal song of prayer and faith. Everytime I listen to this particular song I feel like Sia is saying to me " I understand how you feel, look up to the heavens and tell the angels what you want, say how you feel and believe that you can do anything". I listened repeatedly till I began to pray wholeheartedly. Just as was said in the song, I prayed for anything I wanted, I prayed for the strength to stay, the strength to keep on.

Goodness of God by Bethel Music

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This particular song pulled me out of the sad mood completely.
The song made me reflect on my life from whatever age I can remember. I thought of all the times I've been in very difficult situations that I felt I would never get through but I did. I felt encouraged and came to the conclusion that if God has always been faithful from ages past, he'll be faithful till the end. Instead of staying sad,I began to praise, I started giving thanks for God's goodness is running after me.

Though whatever problems I have are still there, I believe strongly that help is coming. All my days I've been held in God's hands, it's not going to be different. Rather than focus on all that's bent on taking my peace away, I'll focus on all that I've been able to accomplish so far, this is an indication to me that I'll accomplish much more.

I'm looking forward to hearing someone else's story in the comment section. What do you do in the midst of chaos? I cry, sing and pray, it's the best therapy for me. What about you? What songs pull you out of an extremely sour mood? Share!!!