Bullying: My Most Memorable Childhood Experience

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Bullying is one word I can really relate to. It's something very frequent in society. It is that one experience no one should have and anyone who experiences it never remains the same. I have been a victim for a long time so I'll take my time to make everyone out there understand what bullying really entails.

What exactly is bullying?

According to Oxford Languages on Google, bullying means: "seek to harm, intimidate, or coerce (someone perceived as vulnerable)."

In my own words I'll buttress this to say that bullying is a conscious effort made by someone who feels superior over another person, to hurt, intimidate, suppress or ridicule another person. It could involve an individual or a group of people misusing their power on someone or other people.

It is the continuous misuse of power through repeated verbal, physical and/or social behaviour that causes physical and/or psychological harm. Bullying can happen in person or online, and it can be obvious (in public) or hidden (in private).

Types of Bullying

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Normally when talking about bullying, most people just have in mind the usual use of physical power to fight, punch, push a person around and snatching a property. Sadly, in our modern world, bullying goes beyond this. Below are common types of bullying and brief explanations of them all.

• Physical Bullying
  This kind of bullying occurs when people use their physical force and actions such as beating, punching, kicking, slamming, shoving etc to take control of someone else.

• Verbal Bullying
  This involves the use of abusive words, language and hurting statements to bring shame to another person. In most cases, physical bullies are verbal bullies too. As they speak they inflict pain on the body as well.

Oftentimes people do not consider verbal bullying as important and treat it lightly because there's no physical injury inflicted on the victim but the effect of verbal bullying is just as bad as any other kind of bullying.

• Cyber Bullying
  Cyber bullying is all about using the internet to hurt, slander, embarrass, threaten, harass or harm someone else. This could be done by posting hurtful comments, sharing hurtful or embarrassing images, making threats online etc.

• Sexual Bullying
  Popular singer Tiwa Savage once had her sex tape released on the internet about a year or some months ago, this is a typical example of sexual bullying. There are other cases where people sex chat and one partner decides to make the chat go puplic and causes people to insult the other just to embarrass, disgrace or humiliate him/her. There are many other forms sexual bullying could take.

• Emotional Bullying
  This is another common form of bullying which is very difficult to identify but is very much rampant. Emotional bullying involves spreading false tales about the target, sharing secrets which was told in confidence, bringing to public embarrassing aspects of the target’s life, breaking trusts etc

Consequently, the child who is being bullied in this manner often feels teased, ganged up against, insulted and ostracised.

• Prejudicial Bullying
  This kind of bullying takes place when someone is bullied because of his or her race, religion, or sexual orientation It is called prejudicial bullying or racism bullying.
  It usually escalates into physical bullying, verbal bullying, or cyber bullying.

My story as a victim of bullying

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I started experiencing bullying at a tender age of about 11. It first happened in school. I attended a boarding school and we were all girls. I was assigned a dormitory which we called house and our colour was gold. So I stayed in the Gold House dormitory.

It started at the end of the third term just before we went for vacation. My closest friend in the dormitory called all the members of the dorm. and gathered them in the field in the dark. I was called on and I was put in the centre. Then she said she called for the meeting because it was "JUDGEMENT DAY".

She made known to me all the things I did that made her upset for the past 3 months and said she's telling me all about it because we're going on vacation. She would paint me black in front of the girls and some of them would begin to push me around while hurling insults at me. No one would really listen to me. I felt so bad, so little.

This was the beginning. I suddenly felt like I had no friends. I couldn't talk to my dormitory mates anymore because I was afraid that whatever I'd say would be used to gang up against me.

The most painful experience

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I became very afraid when it was no longer just my dormitory mates bullying me but my maths teacher too. This particular incident happened 3 years after the first one.

I wasn't good at maths. I was in senior secondary class 1. Maths had just gotten a bit more complicated than the simple ones I used to know in Junior Secondary school.

Though I wasn't so good, I did try my best. I wasn't so bad and I never failed it. I was always able to get a half mark. My Maths teacher took it upon herself to embarrass me everytime.

She would flog me terribly during classes if I didn't solve all the problems correctly. I used to read news for the press club during the morning assembly. At the end of each news casting session I'll always tell the audience "I still remain Edidiong Daniel, thank you for your audience and see you next Monday".

Whenever my teacher would flog me she will say "I still remain Edidiong Daniel yet you are so dumb in maths." The entire class would roar with laughter while I'll cry so badly. The news went viral and everyone imitated the teacher. Everywhere I went in school, people would say "I still remain Edidiong Daniel yet you're so dumb in maths".

I became withdrawn. I hated maths for as long as the woman was my teacher. I dreaded maths period and I couldn't run from it because she would always look fyme once she stepped into the class.

Effects of bullying on victims

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Bullying never really leaves a positive effect on the victims. Except that because one has been bullied, he or she may decide to learn to be strong and stand up for himself/herself.

From my perspective, I became shy, reserved, withdrawn and I developed a low self esteem which lingered for years.

Bullying leaves this feeling of inferiority and self doubt in victims. It makes them traumatised.
Each time my maths teacher walked into the class I was always afraid and it was so obvious. You would see fear written all over me. I lost self confidence and for a long time, I felt like I wasn't enough.

Some people turn out to be violent and equally become a bully because they too have been bullied. It's not right but that's what the experience has turned them into.

From my heart to you
Bullying is nothing that anyone should experience and if you've ever been a victim, I apologise. If anyone is still battling with the aftermath of it, I hope you pull out strongly.

Final Notes

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Bullying is not a good experience for anyone to have. Educational institutions should take appropriate measures in ensuring that no student is being bullied.

Awareness should be made and students should be oriented on the negative effects of bullying and punishments that will be given to anyone who is reported to have bullied another person.

Parents too should listen to their children and pay close observation to them so they can recognize any sign that the child might be going through something in school because sometimes children can't disclose the experience to their parents because they are afraid.

On relationships: No one should be involved with a partner who takes delight in bullying. The earlier you let go the better. For those of us who do not believe in divorce for the sake of our spiritual upbringing, imagine getting married to a bully for life. Please walk away while it's still early.

Stay out of trouble, avoid unnecessary arguments and always air your views and very respectible manners.

As an adult if ever you are present in a bullying scene please intervene. SAY NO TO BULLYING!!