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Sarcasm, the very foundation of the human race, I honestly don't know how we'd have made it this far without sarcasm. Most people would say being sarcastic means you're arrogant but if we take the words of a race that has just made sex a sport then we have failed as a civilization.

Side note

Human beings have thought the biggest eggplant is one grown by an English farmer that weighs 3,362 kg, that was until they discovered @blanchy's weaner.

Now that that's out of the way, where were we?

I honestly feel like getting married to a sarcastic person will be one of my life goals, next to world domination and inventing an app that gives actual fucks.

I'm not very sarcastic but I'm beautiful so I'm set for life, I'm talking about the rest of you, try to be sarcastic.

Job interviewer: Why should we hire you?

Me: Because I applied?

or a waiter coming to my table at a restaurant

Waiter: Are you here to eat?

Me: No, the brothel was closed so up so I thought I'd come have sex here.

I love sarcastic people, they make me laugh. Another surprising thing is that most sarcastic people are good-looking, all of them except my senior brother, if he didn't have me in his life, he'd have nothing.

Growing up in a Nigerian home pretty much meant you couldn't be sarcastic. Why you may ask. Well, you didn't ask but I'm still going to tell you anyways. My mum was basically old-fashioned and I'm not just talking about the clothes she wore so trying to be sarcastic around her meant certain death. I used to have two senior brothers, now I have one. why?

Mum: Why do you always wait till I complain before you do something?

My senior brother: Because my life wouldn't be complete without your constant complaining.

And that was the last time he was heard of. So Like most Nigerian kids, we had to learn how to be sarcastic from the next best, Squidward Tentacles, man I love that guy.

In regards to my post yesterday, I am yet to see a good picture of anybody which proves my point, people can't be pretty and smart, it defies the laws of physics. The day I see a handsome comedian is the day pigs start to fly.

On a totally different note, how do you spell egg horse ted, like I'm so tired and ex horse ted.

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That's a coincidence. I too weigh 3,362 kg. You must have a crystal ball Claudia. Over here we call eggplants aubergines. Look at you with your Americanisms.

Waiter: Are you here to eat?
Me: No, the brothel was closed so up so I thought I'd come have sex here.

Did the waiter serve you up some eggplant?
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Did the waiter serve you up some eggplant

😂😂💔💔💔..You always have to have the most perfect reply don't you?

Once again you have foiled my plans to bring you down. But don't worry, I don't give you so easily 😌😌

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It looks like the start of a beautiful relationship. I will message your brother to get his blessing.

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This is what I get for having less than normal friends. You're truly, raving mad.
Well, you can put me in the equation.
Being beautiful, smart, witty, and full of smart remarks is a full time job I tell you.

And come first, you're actually pretty funny o. How does it feel like being a ten?😂

And is the elder brother disappearance story true? I almost cracked my ribs with laughter.

Got this bookmarked anyways. You're something else.
P.S: LEAVE PEOPLE'S WEANERS ALONE!!🤦🏽‍♀️

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And is the elder brother disappearance story true? I almost cracked my ribs with laughter.

That one is a mystery that will forever remain a mystery🌚

This is what I get for having less than normal friends.

🥺🥺..She called me her friend. My mission on earth is complete. I can officially leave this world in peace.

How does it feel like being a ten?😂

Well it feels really good. A feeling I'm sure you can relate to 😌😌

P.S: TELL PEOPLE WITH WEANERS TO LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!😂😂😂

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That one is a mystery that will forever remain a mystery🌚

If you say so ma.🌚

You're not leaving any world oga. No do make you chop slap. And yeah, you know your girl causes traffic and all. Respectfully and without pride.😂🌚

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but if we take the words of a race that has just made sex a sport then we have failed as a civilization.

This!!!😭😂

On a totally different note, how do you spell egg horse ted, like I'm so tired and ex horse ted.

It's "ex Horst Ed". Your primary school teacher must have been a dummy.

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It's "ex Horst Ed". Your primary school teacher must have been a dummy.

Can't argue with that one. But I'm pretty sure he shared similar brain characteristics with yours🌚😂

This!!!😭😂

We are living in a crazy world 🥲🥲

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But I'm pretty sure he shared similar brain characteristics with yours🌚😂

Oops! Na so e be?😂😂 All of us Sha dey the same bus🙃.

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One set of sarcastic people that I like are those who say these things and keep a very straight face. No iota of laughter on their face 😂 that's when it gets very funny.

I honestly wonder how I always understand these sarcasms as I would never use it with my mom. 🤔. Too bad you lost a brother😂

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I'm pretty sure in his next life, sarcasm would be his most hated trait 😂😂

But I honestly do love sacarsm people. They make life so interesting. Imagine living in a world where people with a sense of humor and sarcastic people didn't exist. I would probably have jumped off a plane without a parachute 😂

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. I would probably have jumped off a plane without a parachute 😂

Right to your death😂😂. I probably would have been right behind you. The world is already a serious place so the sarcasm is much needed

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Lol I wonder how y'all come up with these sarcastic replies.
I used to think you were one of us normal ones, looks like I might've been way over my head.

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Being sarcastic person is fun though you should know who you're playing with

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So funny in a way, people who act like that seems interesting.

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