WILFUL

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I've used to be a bit wilful. Not a bit, a lot. There were so many things I could grow to dislike in a very short amount of time. Someone told me that my inability to focus on one thing or stay interested in the same things stems from my personality type. To some extent, I agree. I get bored easily which is why you would find me alone most times or in my cousin's.

Before I actually started blogging or sharing experiences, I was just a student who worked most days to achieve something. Now that I think about it, I was never satisfied but I didn't care then.

I and my cousin, Daisy, were supposed to chill together that Tuesday. We'd just split with our other friend and it was messy. However, the next minute she was telling me we were going out to see our cousin, Malcom. He's a cousin to her and just an extension of that to me. We aren't related. And we've sucked faces once or twice.

I hate being sprung up on and let's just say that added to my bad mood plus, it was hot. Like really hot. The northern sun is always on a mission to eat someone. The heat, the sun and the terrible weather was just another bonus.

It didn't help that Daisy rambled about how Malcom was trying to introduce her to some guy who saw her picture and wouldn't leave him alone. Also, according to him, the guy had deep pockets.

Maybe it was my bad mood, but I immediately disliked this suitor guy. Or maybe it's just my bias against men with deep pockets because in my mind, they are always shady or just plain stupid. I know that was the wrong kind of perspective but I was already in all forms of bad mood plus, my experiences with boys my age who had a little bit of money was never pleasant. They put the P in puke.

So we get to Malcolm's apartment where they are supposed to meet. It was a one room self-contain. I really liked it.

I was a very impulsive character and would rush into things without really thinking. I've gotten into all sorts of trouble because of this but that particular day, it was just epic.

I and Daisy waited for this guy to show up while we talked with Malcom. Malcom, being a boy, tried getting cozy with me and I was just not having it. We kissed, fine, but that's not a green light from me.

At some point, I and Daisy went to get some snacks and during this time, she showed me the guy's picture and said most of the things Malcom told her about him. In that instant, he sounded like a simp and it's not like I have anything against them, but I just didn't like this particular one. That and the fact that I'm like a momma bear when it comes to her.

An hour plus later, he shows up and I can't even remember what he looks like because I barely looked at him. This happens a lot. When my brain just turns off on a particular person or thing and they just become background noise. It happens when I'm angry or very shy. Right now, I'm the former.

He and my cousin excused themselves and I was left with Malcom. Funny thing is, I felt really uncomfortable but what was I supposed to do? Leave the room? No. I sat through it and left a clear message for him to leave me alone which he did thankfully.

But as time passed, I got more annoyed. There was no light which meant no fan which meant, unbearable heat. Thankfully, she was online as I didn't have any phone credit.

"Dude. It's almost 4pm. The last thing I need is your father breathing down my neck and blaming me for your actions."

I typed to her. He'd done that before. Blaming me for the fact his daughter, who was a full grown adult, came home by 8pm. I could still taste the rage from that day. I nearly gave him a piece of my mind. In reply, she sent a voice note.

"I'm coming. We're almost done. I'll soon be there."

She'd told me moments before in-between our chat, that he'd taken her to his place and upon closer inspection, she was sure he was a yahoo boy (a fraudster). Yep. I totally don't like him now.

Half an hour later, I had bombarded her with messages and even coerced Malcom to call her. I was determined not to shoulder blame again for her bad decisions.

At some point, she sent me a voice note and I heard his voice in the background saying things I couldn't grab but I thought I heard him saying something like,
"Why this your sister dey disturb you like this?"

That's pidgin for why is your sister a nuisance and I lost it. Remember I said I could be impulsive. Yep. I was not just impulsive at that moment, I was irritated and might have used some words I shouldn't have when I sent back my reply which was a LOUD voice note.

My cousin replied whispering,
"Deraa. What is this one? Why are you talking like this? I had to reduce volume when I played it."

I replied,
"What do you mean what is this one? What was that idiot saying? That I should stop telling you to come home?"

She replied, still whispering,
"Noooo. He was like, 'oya come and be going. You're even stressing your sister. Kai. Deraa. Calm down na." And she laughed.

Embarrassed couldn't even begin to cover the extent of my mortification. Malcom just laughed at me. He laughed so much I swung a pillow at him. Another thing about me was I found it impossibly hard to back down. Even when I'm wrong.

So I just sucked it up and replied with,
"Whatever."

Twenty minutes later, they came back and this time, I didn't look at him because my brain put him on the bench but because I was embarrassed and a little shameful. I made a mistake, I know but I wasn't going to start making small talk with him just because I…did things I shouldn't have.

When we were leaving, the guy made it a point to try and talk to me even offering me a hand shake which I declined. Was I being a major B? Yes. But at that moment, I wasn't thinking but just trying to cope with the humiliation I felt. Which in hindsight, was not the best response.

However, I made it a point to never again just assume I heard or know something. I'll ask for clarity no matter how annoying it made me seem. I hated going through situations like those.

When I and Daisy arrived home, it was almost half past six. Surprisingly, her dad wasn't even home and now I felt like a total tool. She told me not to worry about it. She wasn't into Simp guy anyway and the last thing she'd do is date someone for money. Besides, in her words, she doesn't dig guys shorter than her.

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