PHILOPHOBIA– FILOFOBIA. ENG Y SPANISH

Everyday when I look at couples around me, I get more discouraged to actually go into a relationship. There's nothing that scares me more than the thought of marriage or commitment. Some call it philophobia.

Philophobia is the fear of love or romantic commitments. While many would give you the, I got my heart broken, that's why reason, mine is more of the, I'll get your heart crushed.


pexels-photo-888899.jpeg

Source

Every time I fall in love, I go and (beep) it up right when it gets good
Don't you think it's funny?...
I know I did all the (beep) things to you I said I never ever would
Baby, that's so like me

Sasha Sloan

Tonight, I want to talk about a particular fear of mine which you may have already guessed. And just incase you're still clueless, it's the title.

I am philophobic. I don't know how or when it happened, but I run away from anything that has to do with baring myself to someone who isn't my family.

The thought that I have to be open to someone else, let them see all of me and whatnot, scares the crap out of me. Because what if I'm in it alone?

Been there, done that.

There are moments when I do want to say, to hell with it and just...go crazy. But there's something fear does to you. It paralyzes you.

Yesterday, I came across this couple who struck me. They were so sweet to each other, whispering and saying sweet nothings. At that moment, you'd want what they have but I do realize I'd have to work for it.

I'm ready to work but is the other person ready to? Things like that make me take a step back and pause. What if I find out I've been all alone from the beginning? Frankly, Relationships I've come across or that has happened around me just end up an ultimate disaster.

Then comes the part of me running. I think it happens unconsciously because I begin to act up when I'm hitting the six months mark in my relationship. I give the guy hell and ultimately destroy whatever it is we had.

I saw my ex on my birthday. Like a flood, that damn of guilt burst wide open and I ended up yelling at myself.

I think the reason I run away from relationships is because I don't want to start what I can't see through to the end. It just rips me apart. Like when the other one told me, You just reminded me why I don't do Relationships.

That sealed it.

What do you think though? Is it possible for someone to get over such immense fear?

26uUsAjKTsXCDw7zixZR182JbFKvgzJ9YwsFpTVcRaGCmsqhA1unTgpqR4oxKcCmqGgmyZPgmfj3kaX5145y5DED3RtCnQCL6NkmHtBav7vW2ykUUthxo6vWWcro1bbjxxztgkyNcVEKQA3hBEPYNiPzAAJov7og6VAroR.webp

ESPANOL

Cada día, cuando miro a las parejas que me rodean, me desanimo más a la hora de iniciar una relación. No hay nada que me asuste más que la idea del matrimonio o del compromiso. Algunos lo llaman filofobia.

La filofobia es el miedo al amor o a los compromisos románticos. Mientras que muchos te darían la razón de me rompieron el corazón, por eso, la mía es más del tipo te van a romper el corazón.


pexels-photo-888899.jpeg

Fuente

Cada vez que me enamoro, voy y (pito) justo cuando se pone bueno
¿No crees que es gracioso?...
Sé que hice todas las cosas (bip) que dije que nunca jamás haría
Nena, eso es tan propio de mí

Sasha Sloan

Buenas noches chicos y bienvenidos a mi blog. Esta noche quiero hablar de un miedo mío en particular que quizás ya hayan adivinado. Y por si acaso aún no tenéis ni idea, es el título.

Soy filofóbica. No sé cómo ni cuándo ocurrió, pero huyo de todo lo que tenga que ver con desnudarme ante alguien que no sea mi familia.

Pensar que tengo que abrirme a otra persona, dejarle ver todo de mí y demás, me da mucho miedo. Porque, ¿y si estoy sola en esto?

*He estado allí, he hecho eso.

Hay momentos en los que quiero decir, al diablo y simplemente... volverme loca. Pero hay algo que el miedo te hace. Te paraliza.

Ayer, me encontré con esta pareja que me impactó. Eran tan dulces el uno con el otro, susurrando y diciendo cosas dulces. En ese momento, querrías tener lo que ellos tienen, pero me doy cuenta de que tendría que trabajar para conseguirlo.

Yo estoy dispuesto a trabajar, pero ¿lo está la otra persona? Cosas así me hacen dar un paso atrás y hacer una pausa. ¿Y si descubro que he estado solo desde el principio? Francamente, las relaciones con las que me he topado o que han sucedido a mi alrededor acaban siendo un auténtico desastre.

Entonces viene la parte en la que huyo. Creo que sucede inconscientemente porque empiezo a actuar cuando estoy llegando a la marca de los seis meses en mi relación. Le doy al tipo un infierno y al final destruyo lo que sea que teníamos.

Vi a mi ex en mi cumpleaños. Como un torrente, esa maldición de la culpa se abrió de par en par y acabé gritándome a mí misma.

Creo que la razón por la que huyo de las relaciones es porque no quiero empezar lo que no puedo ver hasta el final. Me destroza. Como cuando el otro me dijo, Me acabas de recordar por qué no hago Relaciones.

Eso lo selló.

¿Pero qué piensas? ¿Es posible que alguien supere un miedo tan inmenso?

Retro Sparkles GIF Google Classroom Header.gif



0
0
0.000
25 comments
avatar

If you are scared of that kinda commitment, you may as well examine your previous relationships to know when you developed this fear.

What I see is a sorta resistance from you and stuff like that is often due to previous experience. So, find out when you started reacting this way to relationships. Hopefully, it will make it easier for you to focus on avoiding relationships that has low chance of success instead of completely write-off any potential relationship.

Thanks for sharing this on DreemPort

0
0
0.000
avatar

Right right, you have spoken well.

0
0
0.000
avatar

Hahah... I will be refreshing this page till I see your own suggestion. Let's ward off this phobia from her.

0
0
0.000
avatar

Thank you. That is another solution to add to my list😂

0
0
0.000
avatar

What do you think though? Is it possible for someone to get over such immense fear?

Lol, yea...it is possible.Like what @kenechukwu97 said, your past experiences may have made your mind mold itself into the way it is now about relationships and commitment. It is also possible that you haven't experienced that but the you've seen what other people have experienced in shitty relationships that you subconsciously swore to never go through that.

It's understandable either way. But whatever may be the reason it's possible to get over such fear. You just have to unlearn the negative things you know about love and relearn that it isn't always like that.

From reading your post I think you sabotage your chances at actually being in a good relationship and I don't blame you for this. The first step to getting over your fear is to be open minded towards love and commitment. When you meet someone that genuinely makes you happy I'd like you to go for it and be mindful about not sabotaging yourself this time.

Try and forget the You just reminded me why I don't do Relationships that someone said to you, it won't be easy but try. If forgetting doesn't work, remind yourself of how awesome you are and the benefits a potential partner will gain from being with you and you can start moving on from that.

I'm not going to say that love doesn't have it's downsides lol, it sure does but in my experience the good outweighs the bad and it is definitely worth giving a shot. I hope you find someone that'll make you see this too.

Happy love hunting lol🤗
Thanks for sharing this on dreemport 🤍

0
0
0.000
avatar

Lol. This part...
Happy love hunting lol🤗
Indeed! Your words hold truth in them and I may be my own enemy. I just have to step down a bit. That is going to be very difficult though😅

0
0
0.000
avatar

Lol suree it'll be difficult but I hope whoever you eventually find will be worth every bit of it❣️

0
0
0.000
avatar

Fear of the unknown is also transferred to love. It may not be an easy task for these people to change their way of thinking, because other feelings and patterns may also be involved that need to be addressed. And obviously, entering into a relationship with this issue unattended will affect the other person. 💔

Hugs @deraaa 💗

0
0
0.000
avatar

Thank you very much for stopin by

0
0
0.000
avatar

I once wrote a post on philophobia. For a long time in my life I was unable to allow myself love. Philophobia can be caused by a lot of things. It could be due to a previous heartbreak or an even that occured in the past etc but the good news is, it is possible to get over such immense fear. However, you cannot do it alone, you need someone who is willing to understand and take it easy with you through the steps but it starts with you willing to try. You can always research on it and read up more about it.

0
0
0.000
avatar

Yes. I will. Thank you so much for your insightful comment

0
0
0.000
avatar

I hope you have the strength to develop your mind to be more accessible to others, cos being philophobic can result into spending much time in a lowly state, such as depression, should this happen. We all need each other to grow either family or friends.

0
0
0.000
avatar

True. I don't have a problem with friends or family. They know me inside out. I was referring to romantic relationships. Thank you for stopping by

0
0
0.000