Another blue-named lesson

Blue is one very interesting color. Blue is nowhere on my favorite color list. I’m just now realizing how metaphors and general observations or experiments about human behavior interestingly have blue in the terminology names. Two of the most recent ones I’ve run into being “Blue Pill” and “The Blue Dot Effect”. The latter is what I intend on focusing in this post.

I don’t listen to Podcasts. Or should I add…Until yesterday. But I am yet to form a habit of it, so it’s best to say I had never listened to a Podcast YET. Anyways, yesterday, after a lengthy conversation with an old friend that started out as simple small talk over a WhatsApp status I posted, I am giving Podcasts a try.

Coincidentally, the first thing I saw when I opened the Personal Development category of Podcasts was a podcast series of a Personal Development book I started reading in University but never got the chance to finish. THE ONLY personal development book I’ve ever read, I should mention: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. Many people including myself misjudged the book or it’s purpose before reading it, because they believe the book is meant to turn people completely apathetic: which is a bit divergent from the central message the book actually preaches - Give a fuck, but only about the things that truly matter.

As I said, I never got to digest the entire content of the book back at school. I’m very sure that if I did, I would’ve come across the blue dot effect chapter. Nonetheless, the Podcast did a great job putting it into perspective for me.

So the Blue Dot Effect basically talks about how your mind can selectively focus on the bad things or negativities going on in your life no matter how minor, even though there are more significant positives to be happy about.

The workaholic and problem-solving nature of the brain (mind) is so toxic that it won’t give itself a break. So even when you have no problems, your brain basically invents some and goes to work solving them.

But what problems are the brain creating?

Actually, let’s start by defining what a problem is. Oh, and I’m not asking you to google what a problem is real quickly and tell me. I’m sure you don’t need google for an English definition anyways. What I AM asking you though is to define the things you consider as problems in your life at this very moment. For me, that would be things like not having a job that pays as much as I want it to, how I don’t get to eat the best foods because I’m living in a village right now, probably the lack of entertainment options here, and other things.

An interesting thing I discovered listening to that podcast was that basically no one has a definition of what a problem is. Instead, we define and keep redefining what a problem is depending on the problems we already have. So we all subconsciously have like an average amount of problems, beyond or below which our brain starts tweaking. I’ll give you an example to help you understand.

Last night when I finished teaching an extra class, I decided to spend a few extra minutes with one of my students both as an attempt to bond with him and also to get away from the problems I have to face sitting in the quietness of my room. Those few minutes unraveled one of the saddest stories I’ve ever heard. A story I am unfortunately almost too familiar with.

The conversation started out as him asking me about his career prospects, and slowly progressed into more personal stuff. I found that he was considering dropping out of school of their final year exam which is 2 months away. And that saddened me because he is one of my brightest students. One of the ones I see the greatest potential to succeed in. But why did he come to this decision, you ask? He was convinced he would not be able to afford going to University, and so didn’t even see the point in striving to excel in the exam anymore.

He is over 20 years old, probably as old as me, maybe older even. He started schooling in 2016, after coming back to Ghana because he was sent to Niger to “hustle”. You think the definition of what a problem is for someone like him vs you and I are the same?

This gave me a serious reality check - Huh, I actually have it better. I have it a lot better than I thought. I eat okay, I live a somewhat okay life, and on good days, maybe I get something to save.

But what is also important to realize is that once he is liberated from these problems, his definition of what a problem is at that time becomes redefined too, exactly because of the fact that he has previously experienced worse.

Success is when preparedness meets opportunity
~ I don’t know who

What I just told you is bits of our conversation. There’s more. But I won’t be going into those details. I did reassure him that the universe works in very interesting ways, and that his primary worry and concern right now should be acing the upcoming exam. Even though I can not 100% assure him that he’ll get financial support to go to University, I’ve seen bright students seek for and get help on platforms like Linkedin and Twitter. And if push comes to shove, I am prepared to go all out for him in that regard. Not forgetting that the important thing is to ace the exam, of course, because that is the only way I can sell him to the people who can help.

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A funny thing about us as people is that we enjoy comparing ourselves a lot to other peoples’ success. And this is normally the source of depression for many. Ironically, we don’t do the same for the stories of struggle and suffering.

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