It’s never a defeat to feel the pain

_{An image edited in Canva. The original image was from Pixabay by Zhugher}

There is a struggle that I am conscious of dealing with because I think this is not something that I usually don’t discuss. A broken heart, a broken life, and a broken spirit are all predestined. What lies in the brokenness is the pain. The pain continues to consume our entire being, shutting us down and making us feel worthless. However, how could we fight the pain that becomes a struggle over time and turn it into a breakthrough?

Under certain conditions, a tragedy will occur in our lives. It could be a general or a specific experience. What makes unexpected events frightening is that they are more likely to have a larger impact and longer-lasting pain effects, such as heartbreak. I've been keeping myself at bay for the past few months because I believe I'm falling for someone I shouldn't be attracted to. Because we're just friends, it's difficult to cope, ignore, and accept reality. In comparison to the rest, the way I treated this person was nothing out of the ordinary, but I know it left an impression on me.

It is extremely crucial that I deal with my emotions. We communicated on a daily basis until I realized I had already fallen. It was actually much easier for me to express my feelings about this person than to keep them bottled up inside of me. Unfortunately, the day I confessed was the day I was truly devastated and frustrated. But, if that was the decision, how could I blame that person for not choosing me? As a result, I accepted it without hesitation because I couldn't do anything else.

Two things I have applied during the pain period

Focus on your development

_{The image was taken from Unsplash by Tim Bogdanov}

Despite all the pain that you have experienced before, this is a new beginning for you to start over. An opportunity that serves a good purpose to reestablish yourself, recollect your energies, and refill what’s lost. It’s very important that despite the pain, you still have an image of positivity. That positive feeling could actually channel your pain into something bigger and better that can touch your pain and transform it into a breakthrough. Instead of becoming enraged because you are in pain, why not turn it into an asset?

We tend to focus on what happened and the people involved most of the time, leaving ourselves behind. It is pretty unsettling because you are expected to care for yourself, assess your condition, and plan your next move. However, that is no longer the case. Remember that you are still responsible for what happens to you because, at the end of the day, it is your life that is at stake.

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“Sometimes, a boat is similar to our life; sometimes, when we don’t paddle the boat in the river to move forward, we let ourselves be drowned; drowned in emotions and events in life. We gradually lose ourselves until we have nothing to live by."

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Do not wait for someone to help you because you are responsible.

_{The image was taken from Unsplash by Matheus Ferrero}

Do not suppress the pain so that you can feel it. Typically, we force ourselves not to feel the pain because we are afraid of the outcome if we do that. On the other hand, by succumbing to the pain, you just delay the moment when it’s the right time when you are supposed to feel it. Then, when it comes back, it becomes stronger and deadlier, which could potentially be more hurtful than before. It sometimes feels good to feel pain because it gives you a sense of being alive.

The question is, how long should I feel the pain? As long as you can feel the pain, but don’t dwell on it. You should not be defeated by the pain that you need to overcome. Live your life, the best life you can have, with all the joy you can muster, and embrace the growth that comes from pain. The good side is waiting for you at the other end of the river, and all you have to do is keep moving forward.

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“Pain is not all about destruction. It is about creativity, productivity, and responsibility. Let the natural process of healing take place. Look at the other perspective of things and look at the beauty of it.”

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However, the problem occurs when you stop advancing because you let the pain control you, divide you, and wreck you inside out. How devastating it would be to see yourself in the mirror and ask, "Why am I like this? The moment you stop, the pressure and pain will become stronger. The stronger it gets, the harder it will be to manipulate. This means that you let the substance and purpose of pain do their job while you navigate and learn to transform it for your own breakthrough.

You just have to switch your mindset and think that you have been broken because that was preordained. It was part of your life that we needed to go through the process of as a pre-requisite for a better transformation. It wouldn’t happen for no reason for the sake of implanting pain in your heart. Breakthrough will not matter when you do not have a sufficient belief that you will achieve it.

When the time comes, you have switched your mindset to a positive side, accepting the facts presented, and then you will have a smooth transition moving forward because you are not dwelling on the pain. Yes, we are feeling the pain, but the pain must stay as pain inside and not bring it out to become contagious to others as well. You have full access to your life’s system; it’s just a matter of managing and navigating it in the best way.