Ladies of Hive Community Contest #219 || The most significant traditions, customs, and practices that define wedding ceremonies in Esan Culture?

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QUESTION OF THE WEEK

Marriage is a universal tradition, yet its celebration reflects the unique values, customs, and traditions of each culture. What are the most significant traditions, customs, and practices that define wedding ceremonies in your culture? How do they embody your community's heritage and beliefs?

This contest is an opportunity to reflect on my wedding ceremony that took place about three years ago. I shall walk you through the process and steps to perform the wedding rites and tradition in the Esan culture of Edo State Nigeria.

To start with, the two parties invloved must make their intentions known to their parents, that is, the man must visit the parents of the woman and vice versa. After the intentions have made to the parents of the woman, the father of the woman will proceed to inform his family members and plan on a day for a ceremony called introduction.

As the message is being passed to family members in preparation for Introduction between the families, this is the period the parents/elders in each of the family will start their final scrutiny of the man/woman their child want to marry. They 'secretly' visit the family houses, community, places of work of the family their child want to marry to find out if they are homely, have criminal history, mental issues and so on. Well, this practice was predominant in the olden days - families have little or no time to carry out these investigations nowadays - probably because people marry themselves from smaller communities that are easily accessible.

Now, it's time to start making preparations for the agreed day for Introduction. The Introduction ceremony is an in-house event between the two families which is mainly to know each other officially. The event is attended by close family members and often times it is not an elaborate ceremony. The man that is seeking the hand of the woman in marriage will gonto the event with some gift which include big kolanuts, palm wine, Schnapps, and non-alcoholic drinks among others.

On the day of Introduction, the ceremony will be anchored by a spokesman from the bride's family. He will start by welcoming everyone to the event and ask the groom’s family to introduce themselves one after the other and make their intentions known. It is at this point that the selected spokesman from the groom’s family will stand up and introduce him/herself - name, relationship to the groom etc and every other person will follow suit. Afterwards, the groom will make his intention to marry from their family officially known to everyone seated and present the gift they brought to them.

The next on the business of the day is that the spokesperson of the bride’s family will call the bride-to-be to come out of the room (she wasn't seated with everyone at the start of the ceremony). She will be asked if she knows the people seated and what they have come to do. If she admits that she knows them and that they have come to ask for her hand in marriage, he will go ahead to ask if they should receive the gift that they had presented to them earlier on. If she says Yes, everyone will start rejoicing and dancing. Then it will be time to share food and drinks . While that is be done the list of things that the groom’s family will be bring for the traditional wedding will be given to them.

Some of items in the list include tubers of yam, palm oil, palm wine, cartoons of beers and non-alcoholic drinks, holy bible, cash for the bride's parent(in separate envelopes), cash for men and women in the brides family (in separate envelopes), etc. The items in the list varies depending on each family. Most times the bride's family consider the financial capacity of the groom. In some cases, if the list seems to expensive for the groom, he can have a cordial discussion with the father-in-law to cut down some of the items.

Fast forward to the traditional wedding. This is a more elaborate event. There will be more people in attendance- friends and well wishers. The bride and groom will be dressed in the traditional outfits of Esan people. The bride and groom adored with beads on their heads, hands, neck and feet. The same spokesperson that anchored the Introduction ceremony can still do the same or another person is appointed. The major activities of the day is to hand over the bride to the groom and advice them on how to be a good couple. Some dos and donts are stated to them bride and groom.

Also, there is this tradition where the bride will be placed on the groom’s lap by the bride’s father for about 10 -12 times and on the 12th time the groom will grab the bride and prayers will be offered afterwards. This act is highly significant - it means the handing over of the woman to the man.

In my own wedding ceremony which is used as a case study in this post it was a mixed marriage. That is, my husband and I are from different tribes but according to the customs and traditions the wedding rites must be done in the bride's culture. This is a significant traditions as well. The groom have to dress in the traditional attire of the bride and go through all the rites accordingly.

All images are attached are mine.