If only we can channel our disappointments to lessons, we'll be able to become better persons. You did a good thing by helping and educating your friend so she could see the bright side of such words and acts of disappointment. It's surely nothing anybody would want to experience, but what if we did? Disappointments should make us develop that self-sufficiency mindset, like you did. It's something it has taught me too; to depend on God and myself, and if anyone decides to help, fine. But I don't expect it at all.