Confidence and Self-esteem: Values We Need

I'm not good enough.
I don't think I can do this.
This is beyond my ability.
It's just so impossible for me.
Have you heard someone utter one or more of the above statements? Or perhaps you have told yourself one of such statements? I assure you that while this may stand true, it rarely does.

Confidence and self-esteem are two crucial aspects of an individual's life that are intertwined. Your self-esteem breeds your confidence, and your confidence feeds your self-esteem.

I wish to advocate that self-esteem does not come from the accumulation nor acquiring of resources, neither assets, but it is first a mindset that needs to become developed as a value.

This leads me to the definition of self-esteem as simply "the quality of having respect or value for oneself". Arguably, the rationale behind some of the pathetic and heartbreaking attitudes seen of some persons in the society are severely attributed to this quality; self-esteem.

Allow me to say, "a man that is not confident sees himself as incompetent". Okay, forget the rhymes and get the point-chuckles. This is where incompetence and the mindset of "unworthiness" rise.

Let me also state that no one was born with the ability to do that which they are admired for, rather through dedication and confidence they became excellent in their craft. Confidence then can be seen as, "the belief or assurance in the abilities of oneself". Hence, it is a matter of the mind first before the outward actions. Such battles are first won within before they are outside. So the big question to ask is if my mind has successfully escaped the cage of lack of confidence. Because no matter the chances or opportunities that come one’s way, it will be just another to let oneself down.

Developing confidence and self-esteem:
First, know that you are good, beautiful, great, wonderful, able and whatever positive quality you can think of. As mentioned earlier, it is not about the acquisitions or accumulation of resources but first a mindset. Also, identify what you are good at and leverage on it. This is important to boost your courage to face the ones you are not yet good or able at. It will also be very helpful to make daily affirmations of confidence and self-esteem. Look yourself in the mirror and say as such; I have great value, my society and the world needs me, I can do this, I am beautiful, it is not impossible for me, it is not beyond my ability, I am good enough. As well, learn to not heed to negative comments about oneself, one's country, life and so on. This has a way of reorienting a person's mindset to incompetency and low self-esteem.

Why confidence and self-esteem are needful values:

• Eliminates the "unworthy" mindset.
• Sets the basis for achieving great things.
• Creates value for oneself through results achieved.
• Sets a standard for one's life. And more...

Nevertheless, there are things that truly, honestly and realistically are beyond one. In such cases, it will be wise to duly acknowledge one’s shortcomings in such respect, and if there is a desire to achieve that goal or thing, (here then is the work of confidence) he or she should push to learn or know it. Then confidently attempt it after much preparation.

“If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won even before you have started” (MARCUS GARVEY).

PS. Philippians 4:13