WOMAN TO WOMAN, THERE'S SPACE FOR EACH OTHER AT THE TOP. #171
Every woman deserves to have a voice, and women's empowerment is the first and most important step toward making that happen. No woman deserves to live under the shadow of another or the shadow of a man. I've seen women tolerate physical, emotional, and mental abuse from men because they are not empowered and can't sustain themselves if they leave.
I am one of those women and my personal experience has further reinforced my belief in women empowerment. I was the type that gave my all in my relationship, I didn't have savings of my own, and every money I ever made was added to my partner's own to get things done.
It seemed like a solid and sensible thing to do at that time, and I was comfortable knowing that my partner was in charge of all the family's finances. He called the shots and dictated what to do and it was okay by me.
Until we made a bad investment that cleaned out every penny we had, savings included. It was hard and rough after,but we forged on gallantly."Winners don't quit, and quitters don't win, right?" Only it wasn't going to be simple. No one said it was going to be easy, but it was going to be worth it was one of my favorite mantras.
Turns out it wasn't even going to be hard, it became excruciatingly painful and everything went sideways. The quarrels started from lack of finances and it was terrible.
The quarrels I could stand, I loved him, and I've always been his biggest cheerleader and his ride-or-die. Everything was going to be okay, I told myself over and over. It might have been if only he didn't despise me.
He took out the frustrations of the fruitless investment on me probably because I was near. Mind you, the investment wasn't my idea and I dissuaded him from doing it, but he didn't listen. You must be wondering why I said earlier that we made a bad investment, I said we because I supported him even after he didn't listen to me. I gave him my full support and was with him every step of the way. He turned around to blame me for the failed investment saying it was my initial negative attitude that made everything go wrong.
Anyway, we parted ways before the birth of my second child, I was pregnant with him by then. It was hard but it had to be done. The last big fight we had was so serious that family got involved, and his family had his back 💯, blaming me for not giving him rest of mind and hassling him all the time.
I had my second child and forged ahead with my kids with no clear outline of the shape my life was going to take. I was sad, angry, depressed, and broke for a long time because I didn't have a penny to my name. If only I had not been blinded by love, I would have been able to get my life in order real quick, financially.
When I was at my lowest, family and friends turned up for me, women especially because they could relate to my pain. I bounced back and now, I'm doing okay for myself.
What's my point? I would have left earlier and not tolerate bullshit from him if not for the fear of starting again, alone and broke. Most women are suffering in silence at the hands of their partners because they don't have anywhere to go or money to start over.
Women empowerment to me is simple, it means a woman taking charge of her life and making choices that suit her without having to worry about the financial implications of it. It means not tolerating rubbish hwfrom anyone and owning up to your shit, confident that you can survive alone.
This is why I'm always lending a helping hand to any woman who needs my help no matter how little. In a world where the odds are automatically stacked against women, we need to look out for each other to achieve social justice. It's also important to note that as women, there's space for everyone one of us at the top as long as we don't sabotage, boycott or do each other dirty. It's us against the world and we have to come together to lift each other up.
Woman to Woman, there's space for each other at the top, the sky is big enough.
Beautifully written and touching! No doubt, financial independence and freedom are empowering. I'm glad you did not wait around but moved on. It's moments like this that we know those who are true to us and I love the part where you remarked that women showed up for you. Stay strong and best wishes to you and your children. Thanks for sharing. !LADY
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Thank you for your kind words, I always look forward to your comments.
!LADY
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Love can make us blind, we can end up losing who we are. I am sorry for all that you experienced, but with some of our greatest challenges come some of our greatest lessons and it sounds like you have learnt a lot and are more empowered because of it.
Thank you for entering and sharing your story, your wisdom with us. Xx
!LADY
Thank you for stopping by, I'm honored.
That's an extreme experience especially to be heartbroken by the one you love. Although some financial investment turns out to be so and its usual for issues to occur in a relationship but how you handle it matters. I'm glad you were strong to hold it all through the time. you are great woman indeed. thanks for sharing.
Thank you for the kind words and thanks for stopping by.
Thank you for reading, it means alot to me.
Thanks for sharing. So true that many times people feel helpless, that is why self love and self believe are so important and part of empowerment, for me. Again, thanks for sharing your thoughts and your story with us
Oh my dear you have had a painful journey. That's so true, a lot of women stay in bad marriages because they fear that if they break up they will not be able to fend for themselves and lose the stability in life. But that's not the case, there will be challenges and over a period of time there will be solutions also.
You were pregnant, so I am sure you were the one going through mental stress and yet his family blamed you for stressing him out. So shameful
I can't imagine what you've been through specially the time you separated and you are with child.
You are very lucky you have your family and friends by your side to assist you.
It's really hard when money or finances is the problem in a relationship.
Hope all is well with you now and your kids.
Women need to understand that entering marriage without any form of financial stability can lead to undesirable outcomes, such as being left with children and no income, as in your current situation.
The problem with some women is they become too dependent. In this day and age, women are expected to be wiser and not fall prey to the allure of love alone. Love and financial stability are two distinct things. You may have considered assisting him out of love, but can you see where it led?
A man who blames you for his misfortunes is not a good man; talking about not having the right partner, such individuals are ones you should distance yourself from. I apologize if my words seem harsh, but it's the truth. I pray that the Lord will continue to grant you strength and provide you with the financial stability needed to raise your children. I hope women will always learn from the experiences of others to avoid becoming victims themselves.
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Keep Up the good work on Hive ♦️