Red flags in a relationship

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The dating pool is totally messed up, many people are feeling miserable in their relationship but they refuse to leave because they are hopeful their partner might change someday but the truth is people don't change, if someone doesn't love you yet still stay with you, it is for their selfish reasons and the moment they see someone better than you that can fill that void, they will eventually leave.

Have you been blinded by love that you do not know if your partner loves you or if they are just using you to wait for the right person? then check out the red flags I am going to list.


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Kissing

Kissing is one of the common love languages which is fun to do when you are attracted to and in love with someone, this is why some people can spend long hours kissing their partner without getting bored of it, they don't care about the saliva and bacteria they are transmitting to one another because they have feelings for one another but kissing can be a disgusting act for someone who is not attracted to you, they would imagine a lot of weird things which will stop them from kissing you and this is why some couples have difficulty kissing one another, it is because one of them feel irritated... When you are in love with someone, you can never be irritated when it comes to kissing them, even if they have bad breath, your work is to find a possible solution as fast as possible.

If you ever notice your partner avoiding kissing you, either a playful kiss or kiss during sex, you should know something is wrong and such a person is not sexually attracted and there is a high chance they could be cheating on you.


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Not Proud of you

May you never date someone who is hiding you, someone who is not proud to let people see you with them, that is a big red flag because a person who loves you will show you off to his/her friends...If the only time your partner wants to see you is when they are horny, you do not need a seer to decode what that means.

Imagine walking together on the street with your partner and they are more focused on their phone and keep some distance from you, aside from it being annoying, it is disrespectful and such a person is just with you for a reason best known to them, you do not want to waste yours with such person.


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Lack of attention

Most people are busy with work but someone who loves you will always find time for you no matter how busy they are, believe this or not if your lover takes more than 10 to 15 minutes to reply to your chat and they are online, you might not be their priority.

If it happens on rare occasions, you can ignore it but if they are always like that leaving your message in pending for minutes before they reply to you while they are chatting with others, it is a sign they are not really into you because someone who loves you won't keep you waiting and they will devote their time in replying your message promptly, if they are busy, they might chat you up and after some few minutes let you know they are busy and they will chat later rather than sending you one or two words and it will take another ten minutes before they reply again.

Many people are fond of making excuses for their partner because they do not want to accept the fact that they do not love them, you will see excuses like she doesn't like kissing, she is busy or her network is bad which is the reason for the late replies and some other excuses you will find to be lame when your eyes eventually open.

Don't tolerate rubbish in the name of a relationship, know when to cut yourself some slacks, and put an end to relationships where you are not being treated right... Trust your instinct because most time it is always right.

Just call me Burl.

I am a professional gamer, motivational speaker and a crypto enthusiast

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23 comments
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That lack of attention is really bad and enough to make me cry. I love with all my heart so why won’t you give me attention? It’s sad

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every one of us needs to find someone who will love us right, but we must also do the same! we can't expect 100 percent love when we only give out 10 percent.

and if you give your 100 and they stil don't care, dump them, never settle for less

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I was once with a person who only calls or texts when he’s horny
Ah I feel bad remembering him

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how and when did you realize it was time to move on from him?

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May you never date someone who is hiding you

I chuckled when I got to this part😂😂

Omo crazy things are happening in relationships ooo. I’d forever respect marriages that has stood the test of time because what I am seeing these days my mouth no fit talk am oo

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some people are really ashamed to be seen with their partner, which means they only keep them for their selfish reason

a lot is happening, just pray you find your own man and not everyone's man lol

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I agree with you except the point of kissing. To be honest right now I feel kissing for long time is irritating and unnecessary. it seems a ridiculous thing in my eyes and I wouldn't love to spend my time for it. 1 minutes is ok but I can't consider it for judging. If my future life partner judge me based on it, then I will be in trouble 🤣🤣. I hope she is not reading the post 🤣. !LOL.

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To be honest right now I feel kissing for a long time is irritating and unnecessary

Have you ever kissed someone you love?

have you ever dated?

if your answer is no to both questions then of course kissing would be irritating to you because you are yet to experience it with someone you love, and as i mentioned in the post, if you are not in love with the person, you may find it uncomfortable kissing for a long time

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Last year I dated this guy, who doesn't call much, okay he said he doesn't like calls and that he prefers to chat, then I said It was fine, now even chatting sometimes, it takes him hours to reply to the chat, sometimes I will drop a message for him, he will take days to reply to that message then he will be like "he has a bad character that I'm not the only he is doing it to" that others are complaining about it as well.

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you don't want to be entangled with someone with a bad character

assuming he was really in love, he would throw that character in a bin, I also don't like calling but chatting with my partner. I love doing that..

What did you later do about him? or are you still together?

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Nahh!!! We are no longer together, I have to let him go cause it's something I can't cope with.

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Great article tough, Burly:)

Although, I think some of the tips you've pointed might be a bit misleading, especially if context and individuality is not carefully considered when judging based on these observations. I get that you're speaking from a general perspective, so that probably makes sense. People just have a habit of taking everything they come accross on the internet to apply to their specific situations, even though there might be some differences and factors unaccounted for in the perspectives of the authors of the works they're reading or consuming.

Wow that was super vague. hehe

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uhm ok i have three questions for you, and u will some of the tips are misleading based on your answer

  1. can you date someone ashamed of you?

  2. will you be happy in a relationship that your partner finds your touch and kiss uncomfortable?

  3. Will you be happy in a relationship where your partner leaves your message pending for hours even though they are online? it is not once but something that happens every time but they end up giving good excuses in all those times

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I’m glad that you’re asking these questions. Now I get to clarify somethings I fond problematic about the tips.

First, Your definition of “ashamed” is…Not everyone can date and show their partners off the same way. There might be circumstances preventing them from doing that.

For instance, last year, my girlfriend and I were staying together for a short while as I was working at a university premise. I couldn’t hold hands with her outside because outside was my work premise and I risked misunderstandings of wrong work conduct. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be seen holding hands with her or being love dovey outside because I was ashamed of her, but that my work restricted how I could act or behave in that environment we found ourself. I didn’t have a problem doing those same things in other environments. This is where context is important. Just because they don’t want to be seen with you at x doesn’t mean they don’t want to be with you or love you.

Secondly on the topic of of your partner finding kissing you uncomfortable, I don’t necessarily disagree with you there. I do think though that for things like this, people need to take it with a pinch of salt. Some people (as I already said) have a very high tendency of forcefully relating everything they’ve read on the internet with their circumstances. So if for instance, their partner has just had a series of bad days and hasn’t been as intimate as possible in terms of initiating or receiving sexual advancements like kisses, they automatically think “aha!” when they come across something like your post. I’m not sure if you’re getting what I’m saying.

Will you be happy in a relationship where your partner leaves your message pending for hours even though they are online? it is not once but something that happens every time but they end up giving good excuses in all those times

As for here, I think that as adults, we don’t have as much free time as we did to reply quickly to texts all the time. If they have a legit reason for responding to your messages after hours, I don’t see what the hassle is. Right now, I work a job where I’m not able to respond to texts or calls between 8am-6pm. It’s not that I don’t want to, I literally can’t. If I had a partner right now and I explained this, I would expect that you understand, because it’s not an excuse, but a legit reason for why I might not available during the day. That wouldn’t mean I didn’t love them. It just means I’m busy. And I know that cliché people always go on about “People make time for who they love”, but if we’re honest and realistic, in situations like this, exceptions have to be made. But since you don’t know what condition the people reading your post are in, for all you know, this might be the straw that breaks the camel back for them. This is all I’m saying.

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Hmm Okay, I understand your points and you are right... your excuses are valid and your partner will definitely understand if you explain to her the same way you did here in case this causes an issue in your relationship... most people in love are very understandable but for your partner who loves you not to believe you anymore, it is because it is not your first time and their instinct is already giving them signs, my post is just an eye opener that their instinct is right xd

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Of course. I totally understand and agree with you. Nice one, Eagle :)

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Hahah saliva and bacteria, actually your instincts is always right 100% of the time

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