People Have Feelings Too!

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It’s sad how people everywhere are going through their own mess in their private lives. Everyone simply walk around with a smile on their faces, refusing to share with the world what exactly they’re going through. This could be because they know that most times, sharing your problem with the world will not necessarily solve it, instead, it could only end up making people make fun of you or put you in a state that is even more vulnerable. Not everyone is up for that.

To avoid all that, we all walk with a smile on our faces. Despite what we’re going through, we smile at each other and we wish them well. When people ask us how we are, we tell them with a smile that we’re doing just great. We push our issues inside and try to be strong for everyone else while ignoring ours.

But then, that is not how it is all the time, because eventually, it all comes to a tipping point. And pretty soon, we find ourselves looking for ways to get better and to heal. Sadly, many times, these healings are deep-seated and can’t be achieved on our own. We need the help and social interaction of other people, especially the kind of people who will resonate with us and will match our frequencies. That’s just how important it can be.

Sadly, just as we have so much buried deep inside us, we have to remember that they also have a lot buried deep within them as well. They also have pain and sadness that they’re going through and are trying to cover up. They also have traumas from their past and scars from old wounds that have refused to heal. They are also trying to move on from the past just as much as you’re doing. Hell, you have no idea if they even need the healing way more than you do due to the kind of mess they were involved in in the past.

However, this is where our human folly comes in; we never really care about the trauma of others. We simply care about our own pain and how badly we want to get rid of it. Many times, it could involve messing with the feelings of others who have also gone through their own sort of pain and trauma, but we won’t care. We just want to heal, and the consequences can be damned as long as we’re not the ones paying the price.

So, in our search for healing, we could end up hurting people and leaving them way worse than when we met them. This is why sometimes after leaving a particularly toxic relationship, instead of waiting to fully heal from it and get themselves back, they jump right into another one, hoping that the new partner will be able to make things right. Sadly, that’s not the way it works at all. Many times, we can even end up transferring our toxicity to them because when we think about it, not everyone is equipped to handle leftover toxicity and resentment from a partner’s previous relationship.

So, what am I trying to say? If you’ve been hurt before, please do well to heal properly. Do not burden an innocent individual with the pain of being hitched to you. Do not make your present friends and partners pay for the sins of your former friends and partners. It’s not fair to them and it sure as hell isn’t fair to you either, because you also lose out. It causes you to lose people who would have been awesome additions to your life.

It’s not easy to bear the pain and keep it inside us, however, there are productive ways to get it all out. Maybe the sooner we begin to utilize these avenues, the better we’ll come at dealing with our own mess and not ruining the lives of others.

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_{Thank you for reading. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below, I would love to know what you’re thinking. Till we meet in the next post.}

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_{N.B: All images used in this post are mine. The thumbnail was designed using Canva.}

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