Do you know a social chameleon
People are interesting am I right? It never ceases to amaze me the different facets each of has. We carry knowledge and skills with us from one situation to the next.
My wife and I are not really fans of crowds, but we do enjoy people watching quite a bit. A big part of her job is understanding behaviors and knowing how actions relate to people's personalities. I'm a tech guy, so as you can imagine I am not as adept at interpersonal interactions.
In fact, it is probably a good thing I am not going to Hivefest. I am either struggling to make small talk and looking like I would rather be somewhere else, or talking your ear off until you wish you were somewhere else. There is no in between.
In that respect my wife definitely balances me out and I appreciate a great deal of comfort having her by my side when we are in social situations.
Then there are other people. People who can adapt to pretty much any situation and become the life of the party or the most well respected person in the room. Whatever situation is thrown at them they adapt and thrive. I have a friend like this and I have to admit it is a bit confounding.
I don't mean that in a bad way. I just mean it's a quality I wish I had, but it also makes you wonder how genuine the person is. How can you be sure the version of the person you are getting is the real version? Maybe there is no real version and you just have to take them as a whole.
If you have never met someone like this, you are truly missing out. It's fascinating watching someone act like a young child with their son fart jokes and all and then shift seamlessly into a deep conversation about religion or some other super serious topic.
As I said, I am a bit of an introvert. I am also pretty awkward when it comes to small talk and I feel like I have a propensity to talk about myself a lot. I think I quite often fall into the trap of thinking about what I am going to say next and not actually listening to the other person.
It's not that I don't care, it's just that my mind is a million other places and its hard to shut all of that.
Like I said, there is an aspect of my friends ability that I truly envy. I wish I could be that guy that everyone enjoys talking to.
Do you know someone that is a social chameleon? Do you feel like you are getting the genuine person when you spend time with them? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments!
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I can relate to you there Bozz. Im not a big crowd person and love piece and quiet. Although when I do meet people I like having a chat, but small talk can also be hard if there is nothing in common there.
It's downright painful for me at times. I wish it wasn't. I'd honestly take a class if they made one.
That's the kicker right there,having something in common.My wife and I are the same way we don't do small talk. Crowds I don't mind.I don't make a big presence in room. I got a cousin who conveys a presence like your talking about.He could go anywhere and ppl flock to him like bees to honey. I can stand along with him and I'd be invisible.
Yeah, it is pretty amazing to watch sometimes and that is basically all you can do. Just go with the flow and watch I guess.
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I think I'm exactly like you...I also see what you mean about your wife balancing you out in social situations. I wish I could be a social chameleon, in fact in my younger days I tried & tried changing myself until finally realised everyone was different. I still feel envy though!
Yeah, good point. Best just to be yourself!
It's the same for me, I'm very introverted, in social gatherings if I don't have my wife by my side who is more talkative and extroverted, I really don't feel at ease, sometimes I envy her way of being.
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I totally get where you are coming from. It sounds like she compliments you well!
I can understand this so well. I myself am not a person to be in large crowds. But that's not so much because I can't make small talk. But much more with the fact that I am highly sensitive and that being in large crowds just drains me completely in terms of energy. I get so many stimuli from other people, I pick up so many feelings from those present that it completely distracts me because I need all my energy to keep myself standing. And to protect myself against all 'energy flows' that are present.
And yes, I often wish it would be different, because I do like events from time to time. But unfortunately, it turned out to be very unwise for me to go there.
Oh wow, that is pretty intense. I wouldn't say I am that bad, but I just have a really hard time focusing! I am sorry that you have to go through that.
Most social chameleons I know are playing a role of sorts when socializing in large groups. I've met very few people who are genuinely themselves in these types of situations. They keep conversation light, ask pointed questions to get people to talk about themselves and then just listen intently (this makes people really like you generally), and never stay with one person or group for very long. I'm naturally an introvert so this takes a lot of work for me. I can do it but it takes a vast amount of energy. I also have a hearing issue that makes it tough to concentrate and determine how loud I'm talking when there's a lot of background chatter so I tend to lock in on one conversation at a time, preferably in a quieter part of the room.
I am totally the same way. I don't have a hearing issue, but I do have an attention issue. In certain circumstances it is impossible for me to focus on any one conversation. Great points you made here.
My answer to this is TIME. I'm never judging or categorizing a person just on the first and/or only one encounter.
Some people act a bit different when meeting new people, some on purpose and others without even knowing it but that's not a facade that can be maintained forever.
Just my 2 cents 😉 Came here from ListNerds!
Good point. Eventually the true person will come out...