One of life's gift

IMAGE IS MINE

Friendship for me is give and take. Unfortunately, not many people understand this phenomenon as they only want to be the one taking and never giving back.

Friendship for me is studying your friends, understanding them, knowing their likes and dislikes and acting accordingly.

Friendship is treating the other person how you want to be treated and seeing them as an extension of you. That way, the friendship gets preserved to stand the test of time.

I have not really been lucky with friendships, one minute we have something beautiful going on, the next minute, we are not speaking to each other again. One time, my sister asked, why is it that you have fallen out with all your friends from Uni days? I paused, because thinking about what she said, I became concerned. Was I the problem? I didn't think so but what could be? I basically couldn't identify what ended all the friendships that I have had.

I looked at my sister and saw that she was curious for an answer. Searching within, all I could pinpoint was that they offended me and that was exactly what I responded to her with. The major challenge with my friendship is that those I'm friends with always find a way to get on my nerves and do the things that I do not like. They are either encroaching on my privacy, not being there for me as much as I am for them, or they are borrowing money and intentionally not paying back.

As my sister struggled to make sense out of what I said to her, because why would your supposed friend offend you and that is ending your friendship? My mommy came to the rescue and responded to my sister's question with, she's having struggles with friendship because she loves too much, she loved her friends more than they ever loved her.

My mother is right and very correct in her assertion. In friendships, I believe that I should be getting companionship, I should be getting mental and emotional support, those are gifts that come with friendship. Another gift that comes with friendship is having someone that you can do life with. Being available for the person just as they are for you.

There is this sort of mental boost that comes with knowing fully well that you have someone who is always going to be by you no matter what. It never really occurred to me how deep friendship goes; I used to always feel the only one who could make sacrifices for me is my mom and probably my sister.

I have shared this story on hive before on how I was in a tight corner. At such an instance, I could not even call my mom because I wouldn't want her to panic. I thought really hard about what to do but I was overwhelmed and just needed to share my burden, my worries and my fear with someone who won't cause me to panic by judging me.

Since I could not call my mom and definitely could not dial my sister, I had to put my friendship with Sharon to the test. I first sent her a voice note explaining the situation. Immediately she got done listening, she called right away to know where I was and I told her I was headed to the scene of the trouble and she said do not panic, you need to establish in your mind that you are innocent, and you did nothing wrong. She went further to remind me that I'm a human being. She said to me, it is ok to make mistakes, and shouldn't be persecuted by it.

As Sharon spoke to me, I felt my nerves and tension relaxed. I had this rush of confidence and morale boost plus I had no fear anymore and I was able to defend myself. In the end, everything was resolved, and I wasn't hanged. I have seen how situations like that play out, I have seen how people get framed because they were too overwhelmed with the happenings to defend themselves. Sharon shielded me and saved me from that situation.

Similarly, there was a time she fell really ill. She lives in a different state and stays alone. She got so sick that she called to inform me. I wasn't anywhere close to where she is. Her sister is closer to her than I was, but I can't say why she called me instead. She was stooling and vomiting at the same time, and she was in excruciating pain. I panicked so much and got really scared. There was nothing I could do but all throughout the day, I was on the phone talking to her. She eventually got medications, took it and slept. I kept texting to check if all is well.

At one point she woke up and responded to my text, I called her immediately and we kept talking. Honestly, I didn't even know what I was saying but it seemed to be working as she was laughing in no time and seemed to be better. She took her medications again and we both dozed off while on the phone.

By morning she sent me a voice note, she was much better, and she expressed her gratitude to me for being there. I could sense how genuinely happy she was from the voice note.

One thing that I discovered recently with friendship is that with the right people, distance is not a barrier. Plus, there are no inconveniences too. Like how I have never seen @abenad before but it feels like we sleep and wake up in the same house. She is always wanting me to win as much as I want her to win too. She doesn't know this but she's one of my greatest motivators (ok maybe she knows lol).

Well, now that I think about my friendship with these two girls, I am really glad that I did not give up on friendship because if I had, I would have missed out on the gifts.

Above is my response to the Novemberinleo prompt, you can participate here

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