Tracy's Mom.

"I can't do it, ma. I am scared." Tracy whimpered while hugging herself tightly as she stood at her mother's door one fine afternoon.

"Yes, you can baby, yes you can. You just have to chin up and it'll be over before you know it.

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That was exactly 16 years, 3 weeks, and a day ago, Tracy heard that statement from her mother when she was chosen to represent her class in a debate in her new school when she was 6 years old.

After her Dad, a soldier, died at war, her mother had moved them to a new country. At first, Tracy didn't understand why her mother had to leave a place where all her friends were, but as she grew older, she got to know why.

"Pity!" Her mother does not want people's pity on her and her child reminding them of the treasure they've lost. Her mother had told her that if she had stayed there longer, she would have been angry at the world for taking her husband away.

Tracy had felt her mother's pain and had been with her mother ever since. Not letting her out of her sight and together, they have created a stronger bond never meant to be broken until a few months ago when Tracy's world crashed.

For once in her life, Tracy wasn't with her mother, not because she's dead but because... hot tears strolled down her face in a gently yet excruciating manner as her lips trembled. "Oh, Mama..." Tracy called between cries. She held closely on her mother's hand as her mother slept peacefully on the hospital's bed.

"It's nice knowing she's sleeping very peacefully. I am sorry to inform you, but visiting time is over. You can come check up on her tomorrow." Claire, her Mom's nurse, said while patting Tracy's back.

Closing her eyes deeply, Tracy sighed briefly before leaving her mother's room quietly. As she walked through the hospital hallway, memories of what had led her to this moment hit her like cold water on her burning skin as she gasped, holding on her chest tightly.

Few months ago.*

After the incident that happened a few months ago when her mother had an accident. Things weren't the same again for Tracy. After her mother had successfully left surgery and was brought home, things took a huge turn. At first, it started with her mother having dreams of her father, her husband.

The doctor had said she was lost in her memories. It was like she was living in her past again, which was nice because her mother always slept and woke up with a huge smile on her lips. However, where it became alarming was when her mother would giggle endlessly while talking to herself. When Tracy had asked what made her giggle with a smile, her mother would say her father was talking to her.

This brought more pains to Tracy's heart as she took her mother back to the hospital where a series of tests was done on her. Drugs were prescribed and gotten with the doctor's word;

"She's okay, and her brain activity is fine. I believe she's reminiscing about her pasts and will be back to her usual self, but we don't know when that will be. We will continue tests on her to make sure she's okay."

Tracy had held on to that statement like her life depended on it. It hurts her to see her mother going through all these. It was terrifying because she didn't know for how long it'd click on her mother that her husband is now six feet below the ground.

And then, one day, it happened. Tracy had found her mom in plain misery after returning back home from shopping one night. She had... swallowing the spit in her mouth, Tracy cried.

She had found her mother crying so loudly while holding her husband's picture close to her heart. Tracy had tried everything she could to calm her mother, but nothing worked. She kept on crying until she fell into slumber, and the next day came in silence.

Tracy had taken her mother to the hospital, and they had prescribed more drugs to them. However, things became worse when Tracy had gotten back from getting her mother's favorite dish, Chinese food, one night. The… the image that Tracy faced when she opened the front door was terrifying.

She had… sniffing with a heavy heart, Tracy recalled what she found her mother doing. Right there, at the center of the living room, did her mother stand with legs almost off the stool close to her as her neck was tied to a rope. That scene was a terrible moment for Tracy, and it never left her mind to date.

With trembling feet, Tracy had rescued her mother and had taken her back to the hospital where her mother was detained. And every day, Tracy had never missed checking on her mother before and after coming back from her job.

The time spent with her mom had really shaken Tracy so badly that her inner child of facing the crowd took a huge toll on her. Though she had not been very active at work like staying late hours sometimes, she still buried herself in the project assigned to her by her company to clear her mind and knowing she had to speak to a huge audience tomorrow regarding the project made her want to run away from the world and never return.

Tracy felt her chest tightening as tears stained her eyelids. Holding her hair firmly, she felt the need to puke. Standing in a rush from her sitting position, she rushed back to her mother's room and went directly to the toilet to let out the content in her stomach.

Biting on her lower lips, Tracy cried as she curled herself up in a ball.

"Are you okay?" Tracy heard a familiar voice ask.

Cleaning her face with her palms, Tracy cleaned her ears with her middle fingers before crying again.

”Oh, my pumpkin..”

Tracy heard the familiar voice say again, and this time, she stood up to be sure she truly heard her mother's voice. A gasp left Tracy's lips the moment she turned around.

"You look so ugly when you cry." Her mother said in a jest as Tracy's mouth was wide open in disbelief.

"Ma..?" Tracy called quietly, not too sure of who she's seeing.

"Why are you crying so badly? I did hurt you, right? And the world is really messed up, too. I know, but don't let it get to you, baby. You have to chin up and face the world squarely." Her mother said while holding on her hands gently.

"But, ma..."

"Shhh. I am sorry. I had a dream about your dad as I slept, and he spoke to me. We talked for so long before he asked about you. I became mute for a second as memories of what happened after the accident hit me. I felt really bad and cried so hard to see how I had caused you pain. I remember each moment so clearly, and I almost hated myself, but your father spoke gently to me. He told me to chin up and face you before kissing me goodbye."

Letting out a huge sigh, her mother continued, "When I woke up, I saw you walk hastily to the toilet, and I knew that you weren't okay. I am so sorry, my little pumpkin. Forgive me, please."

Closing her mouth with her palm, Tracy embraced her mother tightly before smiling heartily. "I am glad to have you back, mom." she said with a deep smile.

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