When You're A Kid & You Have Money

Hello Hivers! @baby.magic here, back again with another funny story that will surely put a smile on all yo' faces.

So let's get to it.

A Kid Boss

Back when I was a little kid, maybe about 6, I had money 'coz my father worked abroad. And when you're a kid with money everyone is so nice to you. Everyone wants to be your friend 'coz they all want to leech on you until they suck you dry.

But I was smart enough to realize that I'm surrounded by bloodsuckers so I took advantage of my situation.

They're not the only ones who knows how to use people.

In exchange for candies, I would tell the other kids what to do, make them carry my stuff, etc. So I ended up being a kid boss. And I enjoyed it.

So at a very young age, I learned that when money talks everybody listens. Money can make you influential.

Yep. As a kid, I was already thinking about acquiring power.

And I wanted to maintain my status as a kid boss. So I had to make money so I can keep giving them candies in exchange for their servitude. But everytime I'd ask my Mom for money she would always give me chores before she'd give me money. So, being the kid boss that I am, I would pass the chore to my crew and when it's done I'd take my reward. And then I'd take a small portion of my reward to buy candies and keep the rest. Now I didn't even break a sweat but I made more money than these bloodsuckers.

So at a very young age, I also learned about social inequality.

But I was dealing with kids my age and the rules were very simple. For as long as I keep giving them candies I was the boss.

Up until I faced my older cousins and their evil schemes.

And I wasn't ready yet to take my game to the next level.

The Apple Pie

It was just another hot afternoon and we were playing tag when my older cousin Mas-mas called me to their house.

Clueless, I went inside to see what's up.

And I saw her doing something in the kitchen and she calls me to come sit in the kitchen. So I sat there and then she asks me, "Do you like apple pies?" and I immediately replied with a "No."

So she asks me, "Why not?" And I said to her, "Well, for one I don't know what an apple pie is and two why do you wanna know if I like apple pies or not?"

So she tells me, "Well, one an apple pie is a pie with apple fillings and two I asked if you like apple pies 'coz I'm baking one for you."

Remember what I said about people being nice to you 'coz they want to leech on you? This is one of those times and I wasn't gonna fall for it.

So at a very young age, I also learned how to be cynical.

Fortunately for me I didn't grew up to be a cynic who lusted for power and promotes social inequality.

Now back to my story.

So I asked Mas-mas, "Why are you being nice to me?" which she quickly replied with, "Coz you're my baby cousin, darling." and then she cuddled me.

I gotta tell you she was really convincing that I believed her.

I know I said I was a cynic but I was also just only 6 and naive. I was too young to see what evil scheme she was concocting in her head.

Sensing I have fallen into her deception she goes back to preparing the pie.

And so I sat there watching her go from preparing the pie and reading the cookbook. Not that I'm an expert in baking but she looked like she had no idea what she was doing.

But I wasn't gonna complain. She was making me apple pies 'coz I was her darling baby cousin (Yep! I definitely fell for that one) so I patiently waited for it to cook. And then the oven bell rang.

"Finally!" I said.

And so she takes it out of the oven and slices one for me. It was still very hot so I waited for it to cool down. While waiting I asked Mas-mas why it takes more than an hour to bake an apple pie. And she tells me it's a very delicate recipe so it takes time to cook. So we talked for a while and then it was cold enough to eat.

So I took a manageable amount of it and put it in my mouth. And then she asks me, "So do you like it? How does it taste?"

I've never tried apple pies before so I told her, "It tastes like raw apples. It's very crunchy."

"Really?" she said.

So I asked her, "Is it supposed to taste like this?"

"No, it's not." she replied.

I was a bit disappointed with her answer so I said to her, "So you're telling me that you spent more than an hour and made me wait for more than an hour for an apple pie that tastes like raw apples?"

"You could have just taken an apple, washed it and then gave it to me. 'Coz it tastes exactly the same."

"I could have spent that hour playing outside."

"It's a very delicate recipe, alright! You make a dough, fill it with cubed apples, put a lid on it and put it in the oven. You wait for an hour and it should be done. And then you slice it and eat it and it should taste exactly the same as raw apples."

"Very delicate!"

And so she apologises to me and tells me she'll make it up to me and tells me to comeback tomorrow.

The Next Day Apple Pie

So the next day, my cousin calls me back to her kitchen and gives me another apple pie from a fresh batch. But this time it tasted really good. I don't know how she did it but it was really delicious. She didn't even bother asking me how it tasted 'coz judging by my reaction the pie was a winner.

But by the time I finished my pie Mas-mas then asked me, "Did you like your pie?" and I quickly replied with "Yes! It was really good."

And then her real intentions showed up and she said to me, "Okay! That pie cost 20 pesos. Now pay up!"

"Wait, what? I thought this pie was free." I asked. "No, it's not." she quickly replied.

"But you said I'm your darling baby cousin." I said to her. "I know what I said. Now, pay up!" she said to me.

Against my will I reached for a 20-peso bill in my pocket and paid up. I felt like I've been conned. And I didn't like it. If it was the kids my age this would have never happened but hey like I said I wasn't ready for my older cousins evil schemes.

But then my other cousin who's about the same age as I am came to the kitchen and saw the apple pie on the table and wanted one for herself. So she asks Mas-mas if she could have one and Mas-mas immediately gives her a slice.

I wanted to warn her that it's not free but I decided not to. I didn't want to be the only one who got tricked. Yep. I'm starting to learn the evil deeds my older cousin is teaching me.

So when she finished eating her pie I told her that the pie cost 20 pesos and she needs to pay for it. Surprised, she asks Mas-mas if it's true with teary eyes.

And then Mas-mas tells her, "For you honey, it's free."

I couldn't believe what I just heard.

"FRREEEEE??!!"

So I protested, "How come she's getting it for free and I have to pay for mine?"

"Coz she's just a kid." she answered.

"She's just a KID?! What do you mean she's just a kid? We're about the same age." I told her.

And then Mas-mas tells me, "Well, she doesn't have money. You, on the other hand, have money 'coz Uncle is making a lot of money working abroad. So, you can afford to pay for your pie unlike her."

"Okay! Fair enough. But that still doesn't justify why you tricked me into believing you were giving me a free apple pie." I told her.

"Not my fault you fell into my trap." she said to me.

"Well, I'm NEVER paying for an apple pie again if it's made by you. EVER!" I told her.

And I walked out of the kitchen but before I could I just wanted to tell Mas-mas what I thought about her apple pie.

"Just so you know, you're apple pie doesn't taste that good!"

And then my younger cousin butts in and said, "I think it's very delicious."

"That's because you got yours for FREE." I told her.

And I left.

Never Again

So when I got home, I thought of a way to get back at Mas-mas so I told my Mom to buy me an apple pie for tomorrow's afternoon snacks which she happily agreed. I wanted to eat someone else's apple pie in front of Mas-mas just to get under her skin.

So the next day, Mom brought the apple pie I ordered and I immediately took a slice and went straight to where Mas-mas was so I could show her I was enjoying someone else's apple pie.

And when she saw me she just smiled and said to me, "You seem to be enjoying your apple pie very much."

And I told her, "Yep. It tastes really good. And by the way, Mom bought this from the bakery that's why it's very delicious."

And then my Mom showed up to give me a glass of juice and Mas-mas told her, "Hey, Auntie! Carlo seems to be enjoying the apple pie that you bought for him."

And then my Mom said, "Well, that's great. Make me another one for tomorrow's snacks." "Okay, Auntie!" Mas-mas replied.

And all I could say was,
"DAMN IT!!!"

I never bought or eaten an apple pie after that till this day.

And that's the end of the post.

Thank you for making it to the end I hope you enjoyed reading it.

If you like this post let me know in the comments section.

And my name is @baby.magic 😎🚬 & that's it for now. Jah bless!

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