The darkness

Zack took a brief look at his phone before setting it back on the table where it'd been all day. He had gotten so many missed phone calls he started hearing his ringtone even when no one was calling him. He wasn't sure why but he couldn't bring himself to put it on silent. He wanted to hear the ringing. He wanted to know how many people would actually call him.

"Maybe I am just doing all this for attention. Just to see how many people would actually check in. But then, how many of those people actually care for me? What is it exactly that I'm missing? What is wrong with me?"

He used his hands to cup his face and wipe some of the tears. He sat in one corner on the floor of his room. Allowing the sadness to seep in. He felt like he could easily just stand up and smile and probably feel normal, maybe even happy in moments, but he didn't want to anymore. For some reason he wanted to feel sad. To let those tears out, and to scream in agony. And that was what he did. He didn't scream outwardly, but his soul was screaming. Screaming so loud that his chest ached.

He was so sure that the reason he'd gotten so many calls was because he was to finish up with the sorting of some important documents at work, and he didn't show up. He didn't want to show up. He was tired. But if you asked him what exactly he was tired of he couldn't give you a clear cut answer. He was just tired. Tired of life as a whole.

He stood up briefly to go get his final final final final bottle of whisky. Next thing he knew he was hovering above his car keys on the table, whisky in one hand.

"No, no, I don't think it's safe to... Aw, who gives a shit?"

Next thing he knew he was in the driver's seat. Apparently he'd been driving a few miles because he was on the local bridge already. But he was on the wrong lane

"Shit, shit, I need to stop..." He blacked out again.

The next time his eyes opened he was submerged underwater. He struggled and struggled for his life for what felt like hours to no avail, but then all of a sudden he let go. The water slowly filled his nostrils and in that very moment everything went dark in his head. All of a sudden his body jerked strongly. It was as though he was possessed. As sudden as he'd started jerking he stopped. And then his eyes began to open slowly. He took a big whiff into his nostrils and It didn't hurt him, Instead it made him stronger.

His eyes opened once more and he found himself on the seashore. It felt like one of those dreams you have in a dream, but this one felt real. He couldn't fathom what just happened. His car was nowhere to be found, he was a mess and he wasn't sure where he was. The only thing he was sure of was that he'd been given a second chance at life. He decided he'd try again. But this time it'd be different. He'd embrace the darkness inside.

"It'd be better this time."

~THANKS FOR READING~

_{Cover image by Adam Kring from Unsplash}