To My Little Pumpkin: A Journey of Resilience

Image is mine

Winnie Winnie My sweet little pumpkin, reflecting on our journey, years have passed; I really cannot describe with words how appreciative I have been to you. Thank you so much for who you were; your bravery has inspired me.

It was not an easy ride for you growing up away from your mom since when you were five years, struggling to keep up with expectations from your family, meanwhile trying really hard to fit into the hearts of people who don't care about you being ridiculed by your primary school teachers, and furthermore, being cheated upon and taken advantage of by your very own dear friend.

You have been a beacon of hope, pushing through the harsh realities of life when 'loyalty’ had become a thing of the past. You never gave up hoping and praying to find a friend who possesses loyalty because you believe that out of nothing, something always springs forth. Thank you for not giving up.

I remember specifically when your dear friend who lives next to your compound came to your house and for some reason that's still unclear to you till today told you that she will tell your teacher in school that you insulted him; you made fun of his shoes and ankle socks, saying they have been torn, and he still wears them like that, which she eventually did, and you were greatly punished and beaten for the offence you didn't commit; moreover, the same friend who borrowed money from you will still insult you because she knows that you won't retaliate.

Thinking back to when to you were being ridiculed and insulted by someone of your primary school teachers because of the town you hail from, and instead of grooming you to be excellent in dancing, which you really had in you, you will be insulted and sent out, forgetting room for grace and correction. All these realities you faced, causing your compassion reservoir to dry up, resulted in talking down on yourself and being harsh on yourself, giving grace to others but giving yourself none.

I wish I could tell you that self-compassion is the key to self-confidence, liberty from anxiety, enhanced mental capacity, great self-esteem, life satisfaction, inner joy, and self-love. Furthermore, I wish I could have prepared you for the harsh realities of life, where good people often face unfair challenges. However, it's essential to remember that unforgiveness and bitterness are stealers of joy and peace. Consequently, embracing self-compassion and forgiveness would have saved you from the great heartache and pains you endured all those years. I know that you did best according to the knowledge you had, but now you know better. Knowing all these now are now moulding you into the confident and resilient lady that you're now, I'm really proud of who you are becoming.

My pumpkin, remember that life is a continuous journey, so be kind to yourself, and also, don't forget this quote by Eleanor Roosevelt that “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams,” so keep shining, keep trying, and keep celebrating yourself.

With love,
Your Evolved Self.

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