Greetings Hivers, welcome to the Weekly ASEAN Hive "Hot Goss", where I @justinparke dig up false ASEAN Hive rumors and spread even more, but all in satirical fun and support of Southeast Asian content on Hive.

♨️ WEEKLY ASEAN HIVE "HOT GOSS" #69 🤫

🐶 Uku Chan Goes Wild, Toilet Problems & Shikika's 2023 Tour 🎤

^{May 23rd, 2023
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     UKU CHAN GOES ON THE ATTACK after watching a documentary about the life of housecats. Apparently he thinks the luxurious life of lazy indoor cats is not a well-earned one, so he lashed out at his dog mom @tampilyne in a fit of rage.

     Luckily Uku Chan is not much bigger than a housecat himself, so his master was easily able to fend off the amateur canine attack. After a brief chat he was made to understand that not all animals are created equal, and cats have earned their perks because they are masters of manipulation.

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     A NEW BIDET BLASTER ALTERNATIVE has hit the streets in Malaysia, or should I say the bathrooms, and nobody has figured out how to make use of the new technology. Every toilet in the country is now equipped with a wet rubber hose, and it's anyone's guess as how this will get your butt clean.

     Some are blaming government corruption for this waste of public funds because it appears $40 million USD was awarded to North Korea in a no-bid contract for this new hygiene technology implementation. Well, for now it looks like poop at your own risk in public toilets until a solution is created.

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     SHIKIKA'S 2023 SPEAKING TOUR is officially underway, with stops in Cebu, Ho Chi Minh, Bangkok, Jakarta, and other major SE Asian cities. In her one-hour presentation you will be treated to stand-up comedy, magic, self-help, automotive maintenance, and even learn how to file your taxes.

     Critics have said Shikika's 2023 show is filled with a strange combination of laughs and useful life information, and every audience loves this new speaking format. If you want to know how she delivers her speeches you'll have to buy a ticket yourself because no cameras or filming of any kind is permitted during live events. The 2023 tour is selling out fast, so get your tickets now folks.......

Until Next Time ASEAN Hivers....

     Please remember this curation is merely fictional satire, so don't take anything I write too seriously.

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