Random thoughts about life.

My daughters left on Saturday and I have been feeling kind of empty inside and I cannot help myself or even get myself to get rid of this dark cloud roaming inside of me. I think I am very hard to think of what I am going to be doing. I planned on going to Luzon to clear my head with the road just in front of me but I have been told by my mum that there is a big possibility of another huge storm heading into Philippines within the next two weeks so I am taking another week to just stay here at home with me hoping the price of shares going up so I can get my price stop to sell some assets at the right price in preparation to build myself some properties to rent out.

Not a lot of things are happening in my life that I think I can just take it easy this next two weeks and maybe this is a good thing for me to take a pause in getting myself to travel for a bit even though I am in need of head clearing. Mind me I did do a hard chest day workout today just so I can get myself some happy fdrugs being built by my muscles.

I know this is a long shot but I also know a door closing is another one opening. I am really closing the door behind me with my life in Australia as I have decided to take the plunge and stay here for good in the Philippines. I do not know what the future will hold for me but you know what if Columbus can sail around the world in the past with no guarantee of a safe return, why can I not start a new journey in my later stage of my life.

I don't think it is a mid life crisis since I did not do this change all by myself and frankly I think it was my ex who had a mid life crisis deciding they will let me go while I also decided with her that I will leave. I know we both decided so I do not give her all the blame but you know sometimes family can give me perspectives that I did not think about and I am sure she will also be getting something from her side of the story. I am not perfect and I know she is not either we are not gods and cannot be held at a standard that gods are expected to hold. Or in this case, God, since we both are mere mortals who take things from gods grace and what they have given as a challenge in this part of our lives.

I am again thinking of the apprehension I am experiencing in starting to build something I have no experience prior to this moment today. When a decision s made things just start to fall on my shoulders and even though it is not reality yet in a sense I have not bought any materials or hired the necessary people to help me build things I am nervous and scared but at the same time also very excited. Then my thoughts go to my kids and I am again back to my sadness in not being able to just see and hug them when they are with me here. No tears shed and no outward emotions released as they are all kept inside of me and away from everyone else. It is not because I am a man but it is more I want to keep it close and secure inside of me so I can have that as a motivation to push myself to do the things I have set out to do.

Now all I have to do is wait till the time comes and the price are right for me to get it all rolling. Oh the hands of time sure plays its part into each and every single one of us. I best leave it here as I have said too much and expressed things as best as I could.

Thanks for your time and hope you all have a good life.

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