Random Spiel: Conversation Fillers
I'm a having my residency in psychiatry and interviewing people is part of the daily grind. I recently added two phrases that grinds my mental gears after going through countless patients spewing these phrases. I know these are just expressions, some form of conversation fillers that are convenient to add on a sentence to give it more depth, a habit in the choice of words, but damn I wish there's a lot of insight when it comes to their use during live conversations.
"If I'm being honest..."
I don't know who you are but if you begin a thought with this line, I immediately think you weren't being honest prior. I know this is just an expression or a filler, but when people actually want to mean what words they say, it just screams insincerity to the previous facts they tell you about themselves.
What? were you not being honest about the stuff you've told me before and I should be taking notes now? One could do away with this line entirely and their line of thinking can still be received without the fluff. Just feels like I wasted listening some milliseconds of my time and these interviews can last more than an hour during first consultations. I hate the usage of the words, not the people.
"To tell you frankly..."
The use of the adverb frankly feels like a self monologue but instead of using the thought bubble, it became a speech bubble. It comes across the words prior and the follow up were never conveyed in honesty that's why there's an emphasis to use the word "frankly". To tell you sincerely, to tell you honestly, to tell you maliciously~ make it stop.
Again, I know these are just common expressions, lines said for the sake of saying to fill a sentence and I'm just reacting to the inconvenience that I have to constantly read between the lines when people say this and mean that.
Normal people use these on their daily conversations that it just loses the impact as the words lost its meaning. Frankly is something the receiver usually describes how the messenger delivered it, not the messenger having the live commentary about their input.
Part of the consult is verifying some consistencies in what people say. I've been lied to a lot during thee follows because some patients want some regulated prescription drugs, the good stuff, because they developed some dependence and have trouble adjusting.
Thanks for your time.
most people tend to have built a facade, an image they want to project, an entity they would like others to see them as.
they put those adverbs in so that the next sentence they would say wouldn't tarnish said facade. "off the record."
hahaha, keep it up! more patience and understanding XD
Not all the time. People can be ego centric that it has little to do with their concern about what others think and more along the lines of what they think of themselves. If you challenge a hypocrite about their hypocrisy, you get some defenses put up because of cognitive dissonance. What do I think of me vs how do they think of me? You have to ask, what made them dress that way coming to the interview? to impress others or they just like to wear it just cause it fits with their mood.
This is what separates bad interviewers from good ones in my opinion. Someone could come in the office butt naked and I would only think of it as odd behavior initially then I'd ask whether it was for a TV prank before concluding they're insane on the spot. You give people the chance to explain themselves and pick up from there no matter how obvious the case is. Someone could pretend to be insane to avoid legal consequences.