What should I ask for, more or less siblings?

My mother gave birth to eleven (11) children. Wishing for more siblings will be a disaster for us. Though our parents did not find it difficult with raising children like our own time. Most of them were farmers, the find pleasure in having more children so as to have enough harvest. More children means that you will have a very big farm land to work on with all your children. And some of them are seeing as the richest people then because of their large farm and harvest at the end of the farming season for each year.

DID I EVER WISHED FOR MORE SIBLINGS?

Those eleven children were just stories that I had. My mom told me that she had ten before me. But where are they? Just the first child, the third child, tenth child and myself who is the eleventh child that survived. WOW 😲! When I had the story I really felt bad. I wish that they were all alive. I wish I knew the second, third, eight or something. You know, so many things goes through my mind when I start thinking about the siblings that were before me that I never saw. No pictures, nothing at all to see if I look like one of them. Maybe I just look like the fifth or tenth, who knows? So, the thought of all of these makes me want to have all of my siblings around me. Not that I am asking for another one. Just the eleven of us. I use to imagine what it would have been like if all my siblings are alive. Maybe I might not be in Nigeria today. Maybe one of them would have made so much money that I don't need to go through all the hardship I went through in life. Maybe it might even be my sister that I will live with when we lost our father and I was sent to Jos, plateau state to live with my aunt. Maybe I would have gone to school early in life and not go to school amidst all the family responsibilities that surrounds me now. You see. These are all the MAYBES that always go through my head. Is just the four of us now. Last year we lost our first daughter. This is the first time after the death of my mother that I am loosing someone very dear to me. Right now, we are just three of us remaining.

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HOW WERE YOU ABLE TO PASS THROUGH IT?

well, something I encourage myself and keep moving. One of my strongest encouragement is the fact that it would have been me that is not alive today. What if I was among the ones that died? It means that I am staying in replacement of someone. If I am not here today, some one else will be here. And it would have been me that someone is saying that she lost her sister long time ago. So, life itself gives me reasons to be happy and grateful to God that he spared me from what killed my siblings and left me to be alive today.

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On day in my family we had no money to do some vital things and I became very disturbed that I could not give my children enough. When we started talking with my first daughter, I said to her - how I wished I had only one or two children, maybe we would not be suffering like this. I was surprised when my daughter said - no, no, no. So you mean that I would not have known all my siblings? She said - which one among them would I wish that I never knew. None. Hahaha 😂. That made me started laughing and we moved on like that. So, for me, I am happy that we are three remaining. Myself and two remaining.

The picture used in this post belongs to me.