We need to be listened to with empathy

Greetings friends of this very interesting community. I hope you are well. It is very gratifying that there is a community that invites us to reflect on such important topics so that we can think clearly and act wisely. This time I am going to talk about how my emotions have led my body to suffer.

People know me for being cheerful and spontaneous, the truth is that this is not entirely true. Although I strive to make others feel good by showing empathy and charisma, the truth is that I often feel lonely. It is also true that I am very private with my personal matters because although I have a couple of good friends, I am usually the one who has the spirit to help them. I think that is partly why I feel lonely, because it is difficult to find someone who sees me as I am, an ordinary human being with fears, sadness, good days and bad days. This is because what I project is something very different from what I feel. And it is not about being hypocritical, but it is a kind of shield. I always try to show my best version even in the worst moments and believe me this is exhausting.

A couple of weeks ago I felt very bad, so bad that I isolated myself. I wanted to be alone, I needed to be alone but you want to take refuge in the shelter of solitude was prolonged to the extent that I did not want to leave my room. My legs started to hurt terribly and even when I went out of my room to the bathroom, I was shivering because of the pain. As I have a problem in my spine, I told my parents that it was due to that, but nothing further from the truth.

The truth is that I was going through a moment of depression due to a very sad situation that I had to live but as many times I did not mention anything about it. I was consumed with a strong emotional pain that I somatized to the point of being able to walk well. At all times I minimized my pain so that no one would realize what was happening to me and the result was worse. I was really very sad and it made me sadder that I could not share my sadness with someone. I didn't want advice, I just needed to be listened to with empathy and as on other occasions this has not been the case I kept my sadness to myself thinking that in a few days it would dissipate.

Days went by and I got worse but still, in front of my parents I showed my best face until one day the pain became so acute that I asked to be taken to the hospital. I simply could not stand the pain in my legs, it was too intense. While at the hospital, the doctor asked me several questions and I was still reluctant to tell the truth about some things. I didn't say everything, I kept the most important things to myself. However, the doctor suggested that more than the spinal problem it might be stress. In my mind I knew it was an emotional burden but even with the doctor I didn't dare to unburden myself, so much so that I even took some pictures with the treatment I was given.

When I got home I went to bed to rest because the medicine they gave me left me drowsy and while I was in bed I started to cry in torrents. I couldn't stop crying, it was unbelievable that I couldn't even get it off my chest, not even with the doctor. It is as if I had a programming in my brain not to allow anyone to see my vulnerability and this is serious because how will they help me if they don't know how bad I am.

I remember that days later a cousin came to my house and I decided to tell him what I was going through and the truth is that it was a real relief to do so because he listened to me carefully, he did not judge me or minimize my pain. He put himself in my shoes and we had a great conversation. The least I imagined was that he had also gone through a similar situation and he understood me in a great way, so I was comforted and calmed down a lot. Since that time we are closer and I feel I can count on him. Obviously I am still reserved and cautious with my feelings but without a doubt, we will always need someone who listens to us with empathy to cope with our anguish.

From all this that happened to me, I understood that although moments of solitude are good, we should not isolate ourselves when we feel weak and that the armor I used to protect myself can be a trap if I don't use it as I should be. There are things I will be able to cope with alone, but a good friend is never a bad thing. We must be very careful with our feelings but we must learn to trust others little by little to support us in difficult moments.

All photos are my own, taken with a Realme 7i.