Zoomed Out In Gratitude

Sometimes we do not realize what we have until find ourselves in certain situations. I’m not even talking about material things. You know what? Come with me.

As a person, I find it hard wanting to relate with people or have close new people because I believe people are good until they are not. Anytime I felt something was off about a person, I ended up finding out the worse about the person. This kind of scares me so I try my best to be by myself most times.

Recently, I’ve been seeing people come at me for reasons that do not even exist. Since I’m not one to assume things, I’m also not ready to read meaning into their actions to find out what exactly is fueling what they are doing. I believe at this point in my life, I have come to realize how every moment matters. And the best thing I can do for myself is to utilize every second and choose peace over everything else.

That’s not even the whole point. I realized that in as much I find it hard relating with people, I’m so thoughtful about each and every word that comes out of my mouth when such people approach me in any way. No matter how rude or mean they come at me, I literally do not even retaliate. Most of my responses are laughter. And I get it that as that someone is probably trying to stir up something with me, laughter as a response definitely might be really annoying.

It draws me to realize the fact that the magnitude at which I am loved at home, by my family and friends transcends into how I respond to such things. You only give what you get and in this case, I’m only used to giving love because that’s all I receive. If I’m ever pushed to the edge, nothing will still make me give out bitterness or bad vibes.

Thinking about this today made me so grateful, grateful to my mom especially. Grateful to the extent that I didn’t even know when I went to hug and peck her whiles she was cooking. Of course, I didn’t escape a pinch from her because at a point I was over doing it. Typical last born behavior, I think.

I just realized today the weight of what it means not to be bitter when everyone around you is or not be rude even when you’re pushed beyond your limits. I think this is definitely one of my most precious possessions, or I’m not even sure how to put it. But that one thing I know is that I’m really grateful for my family, friends and everything that has shaped me to be this way.