“Send Your Big Head Away”

I know you’re probably thinking “that’s quite a title” and trust me I agree with you but what if I told you it was a message I mistakenly sent to my boss? Yep! I’ll tell you all about it but before that, help me give a bombastic side eye to that feature called text replacement.

For those who don’t know what text replacement is, it’s this feature on phones used to write desired phrases using shortcuts. Personally, I say a lot of “God willing” so I have Gw registered on my text replacement list. So when I type Gw, God willing automatically shows up. This saves me time from having to always type the same thing all the time.

Back to my title yeah? A day never passes without me telling my brother “send your big head away”. So I’m sure you now know what that means. I’ve registered “send” to replace the whole phrase on my text replacement list.

There was this particular day, I was supposed to have a very important presentation in the office but I was running late when I got a text from my boss. He asked what was happening and I explained the situation to him. He wasn’t angry because I was on another official duty for the office.

They decided to postpone the presentation to the afternoon just to wait for me. I was even happy because I was already tired from all that I was doing on the field. He then asked me if there was anything he could help me with and then I sent my slides to him but I forgot to tell him what to do with it.

When I remembered I didn’t add what exactly he should do with those slides, my phone was at 1% so I hurried typed “send” and someway somehow mistakenly sent “send your big head away”. Before I could blink, my phone went off. You should have seen me writing explanation essays upon essays in my head while approaching the office.

I only wanted to tell him to “send it to the IT guy to get it ready for projection, please” but now I had to draw diagrams to explain that response. When I walked into the office, it felt like I was walking into my grave. The stares from colleagues were too heavy and it was beginning to feel like I should just clear my desk and go home.

Whatever happened next is a story for another day but I learned the hard way. All these fancy phone features are helpful but the ones made for texting are very confusing sometimes. Please if anyone sees that text replacement guy, tell him to pass left when he sees me coming from right.