Love Or Lust?; A Lost Battle

Hello Abdulqudus!

Hi sir,

Please can you dress up in a few minutes and meet up with me at the market U-turn, I have to pay a visit to my hometown and I want you alongside. Said the principal.

Okay, sir! I will meet up as soon as possible. I responded.

Principal, at times we call him “double principal” because he is a principal in two different schools. But eventually got married to one of my aunts. So this must have built a cordial relationship between us apart from the fact that I am a staff under him. I am also his brother-in-law.

I jumped up from my seat and stretched while I yawned. The weather was a bit sunny, and the clouds were clear of the sky. It was a bright day.

I have wanted to explore places outside my vicinity, but I do not always have the chance due to the nature of my job as a school teacher. But now the order came from the principal himself. Do I have a choice?

I immediately got into the bathroom and showered cold water. Perfect for the weather, I got dressed in blue native wear. I would have loved my black top and trousers, but they won't be fair enough for the weather. Then I took a bike and waited at the agreed spot.

Abdulqudus! Abdulqudus!! Its principal waving his hands as he winds down.

I got to him and had my seat right beside him in the car.

With a smile on his face, he zoomed off and we headed to his hometown in Osun state.

I have never been to his hometown before, I only heard about it from my aunt. But this time around I got to see everything myself. It was late in the night and we had to sleep over. Since it wasn’t somewhere I was used to. I had to be careful with every step I took.

Everywhere got dark, except for the few areas the lantern could spread its light over.

Asake!! Asake! Won't you bring dinner for the visitors? Grandma exclaimed.

It took a little while before she appeared with the food. Then under the moonlight outside the varender we dined.

That was my first time seeing Asake. She sounded like a village girl but I had to urge to know her more. I was hopeful I would get to see her in the morning. But she had already gone out before we could arrive from morning prayer.

We left in the afternoon, and Asake's view was still lingering in my head. But I felt there was no reason to mind that. I forgot about her after a few days.

After some months, one rainy morning, I had to go to school. I was a little late and I should be on duty. But when I arrived I met someone who had already taken my place.

A new staff? I asked myself out of curiosity.

I felt hopefully we would get along better. We spent the whole day in school together. But I wasn't chanced to get closer to where she was. I took the higher classes, and she took the lower basics. But at the end of the class. I went to my aunt’s apartment to bid farewell for the day. Then I saw that same lady come out of the kitchen.

Oh wow! Amazing looks. I couldn’t control my stare, so I quickly took my face off. Said goodbye and went home.

Throughout the night, all I was thinking was where the lady must have come from. She isn’t an outsider, I was so sure of that. But I had to be patient to know more.

After a few weeks, we were on vacation, then we had our end-of-the-session party. This was the chance I had to get even closer to her the more. Because if not her, then I am the one my aunt would call attention to.

I felt I liked her for who she was. Maybe her appearance and looks got me. But I never can tell much of her inner beauty which is her character.

We were together for about two years, I didn’t express myself nor did she. Till I got admission into the higher institutions. I later knew she was the lady who served us that night. That even made me like her more. It was like I found a lost treasure.

One day in my final year, about four years later. I felt I should express myself to her since she has already matured, it took me some time to express my feelings. Which I did.

I started studying and tried to understand more of her character. There are times when I would just feel like I am with the wrong person.

She has her way of behaving that will get you annoyed and frustrated. I held on to it for some time thinking it was because of her upbringing and I could change her to my taste. But she wasn't ready for the change.

There are times when I would even end everything with her due to her immature ways, but again still find myself connected to her. I know we are not a perfect match for each other but I don't know why I am having a hard time letting her go.

I got confused at some point if I truly loved her. But she isn’t reciprocating the love. She once did and it became a story afterwards. Is there anything like one-sided love or am I just lustful? I will always ask my confused self.
I knew it was a battle I lost.