Comparison: The Positive And Negative Impact.

I remember when my dad would have us seated and have life discussions with us. Yeah, those discussions were so much cherished and appreciated because they have shaped us into who we are today. But sometimes he would always have to compare us to others so we could pick one or two lessons on how to live our lives.

Do you think comparing oneself to others is a good thing?

Most times when he compares us to someone else I have always felt so bothered and have a lot of burden on myself just to make sure I keep up with what the person is like. I have done that several times when I was younger and never knew much about life. Many times Dad would scold me on the reason why I took the 2nd or 3rd place in class and then someone else took the first position. Why can't I?

Yeah, the comparison helped me discover myself and made me put in my best and all my effort to become a better version of myself. But at some point, I realized that the effect of the comparison was, it brought about hatred and envy into my heart. It won't happen at once. But gradually it keeps building up till it gets beyond control.

If I couldn’t beat such a person in the next academic session I would start having the mindset of overcoming them by all means possible, meanwhile, this person was just naturally endowed and gifted. So why the stress? When I knew I was even way better than many other people.

As a parent, I won't advise you to keep comparing your kids to others. In the same way, they can't compare their parents to another. We all have our uniqueness and that's what truly defines us. Even among siblings, we can't compare them to each other. They have their unique personalities, strengths, abilities, and talents.

If they should have themselves compared to others then it shouldn’t be in a form of competition which might, in the long run, bring about envy and hatred to their hearts. It should come in the form of mentorship, looking forward to becoming a better version of themselves and not getting into a rat race they likely won't end up winning.

There were times when I was with my roommate at university. He was naturally intelligent and smart, he also had a sharp sense of assimilation. Then one day I challenged him, I asked us to read what we were taught in the class, and then after a few days, we asked each other questions.

When it was time to answer all of the questions I asked him, he answered them without stress. But when it was time for me to answer his questions I was struggling to answer. If it were to be about comparison, the moment I realized he was better than I am, then I might start having unnecessary hatred towards him.

Since it wasn’t about comparison and I realized he was better than I was, I started to learn from him and got to improve myself.

Comparison has its positive impact, but most times the negative impacts are always more than the positive ones. For example, in the society we find ourselves in today. We have got a lot of youths into fraud and all other bad vices. Most of which they were not into from the onset of their life.

But the instances when parents began to compare their child from a poor and humble background to that of a child who they never knew how their source of income was generated. The pressure to feel among is what causes most youth to get into all of those vices and at the end of it all, their parents and society would have to pay for the consequences.